Feeling neglected and resentful towards my female friend

[Invioable]

Hey all, new poster here. I've lurked for a bit and while this isn't really the way I wanted to intro out here it is something that has been bugging me for a while now and I have no one I can talk about it with.

 

Some background info:

 

-My friend is a girl. I am a guy.

-We have known each other for over twelve years. We met online way back when and have continued to chat, call and Skype over the years and in general have been pretty close.

-For the last six years she's been in a ldr with her boyfriend due to rl circumstances (his education, mainly) keeping them apart.

-A few years ago I felt I was in love with her and this caused some strife, but we eventually talked it out and I got over it. I just see her as a close, valued friend now.

 

The problem is that she recently made a big move to finally live with her boyfriend, which actually puts her close enough to visit which is pretty cool, and leading up to it we've been talking about all the stuff we could do, making plans and in general being pretty excited. It's been about two months since then and things haven't exactly panned out. She's been reclusive, online far less and flaky to a frustrating degree. I feel like we barely talk anymore save for texting during work which doesn't really feel the same. We met once and while we both had fun things have been worse since then.

 

Anytime I've tried to bring this up I feel brushed off, like this is just her life now and I have to deal with it, which seems hardly fair the way she was acting before she moved. I don't know if she means it this way but that's often how it feels, which is pretty ****ty. In my worst moments I feel like I've just been discarded, that she doesn't need anyone else now that she's with her bf and I've been a chump for being so invested in a friendship that didn't mean as much to her.

 

She knows I'm unhappy and that we need to talk about it but she is under a good deal of stress currently (legitimate, she has had to deal with a lot of crap going on with her employment and stuff) and needs some time to deal with it.

 

And that's where we are. I am doing my best to be a rational, understanding friend and let my emotions get the better of me. But I don't like feeling like my dissatisfaction is a problem that can be put off until its convenient to deal with or that she can just skip in and out of my life as she pleases like nothing is wrong. I feel I deserve better than that, and every day I feel more ticked off and resentful about it all. At the same time she still means a lot to me and I don't want to go off on her and say bunch of things I can't take back. I don't know what to do.

[whichwayisup]

The problem is that your friendship is online and you're not a part of her everday life 'offline'. Before she had time for you, but now she has a boyfriend whom she's moving in with and that IS going to change things, as you are feeling now.

I know it hurts and you're feeling left out and neglected.. I'm not too sure what you can do to change things, it's out of your hands. All you can do is focus on yourself and friends you have in your life who appreciate you, make time for you and (ones you see face to face) enjoy their time.