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Friend is too dramatic


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A friend of mine cannot let go of a dysfunctional connection. It's long distance, she is 29 and he is 23. They are of similar racial background, however due to their religions his family would never accept it and most likely would ostracise him if they found out.

 

In summary, she's known for over 6 months that it isn't going anywhere (they happily dated for a year prior). He too agrees, he's too young to get married and have kids anytime soon. So why am I here? Initially I was supportive, as she was quite happy with him but it's evolved into an emotionally abusive/dysfunctional connection. I call it a connection because they've broken up and gotten back together a number of times. She's made comments about ending it, only to come back a fortnight later complaining of how lonely she was and hence she called him.

 

I am at my wits end. I cannot listen to her harp on about the same old stuff day in day out any more. Lately, I've found that I do not want to catch up with her as often because she always draws the conversation back to him. As soon as that happens, I just switch off. The final straw was the other week where she organised a girls weekend away. She kept asking me to invite my boyfriend, however as a girl's weekend I saw no reason to ask him along. Lo and behold, she had already invited this guy of hers along. Way to ruin a trip.

 

This post is a combination of venting and wanting your advice. Have you gone through this before? What helped you set an effective boundary with your friends and was it a positive/negative outcome for you?

 

To put it into context, i've known this woman for over 15 years. I've listened to her talk about this issue for the last 6 months. It's only been extremely painful for me to bear for the last month and we catch up once a fortnight.

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