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"Best friends" seem to want nothing to do with me


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Old 6th March 2012, 5:57 AM   #1
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"Best friends" seem to want nothing to do with me

I feel like this friendship is now broken. Ever since 2-3weeks ago,my two best friends at my university seem to want nothing to do with me. I feel so alone and hurt. I honestly think they are mad at me for petty/small thing. I feel so lonely and the time I need a friend,they put me in the dark. so much has happened these past 3 weeks,I'm at my breaking point.
The whole drama with my "friends" started 3weeks ago. They became mad at me because on the drive back to our dorm, I was silent. I had let them know earlier that something happened,that I'm very upset. As the night progressed, I got even worse news, I found out a very dear family friend of min got into a car accident, she was in a coma. I was basically in shock,she was like a mother to me. My friends told me that now is not the time to be upset. They then told me that my problems from the past (parents passing away, troubled relationship with my brother) is burdening the friendship. I could understand that if I went to them everytime I was troubled/upset, but I don't. I have quite a positive Outlook on life and deal with my problems. I never came to them for help/advice,just a listening ear. Apparently that creates a burden. Anyways, they said they were over that, but ever since then, they are so different towards me. I am now realizing that they aren't the friends for me. They walked out on me when I needed them the most. Right now, my state of mind isn't stable. I feel very depressed ever since the family friend passed away while in a coma. I feel like I've lost my mother all over again. I feel like I'm lost under all of this stress. I can't concentrate on anything. To top it off, the people I felt would be there basically walked off. I try hanging out with them,they want nothing to do with me.
Everyday now, I feel like we shouldn't be friends now, but I don't want to let go. I see they aren't good for me now. They lack empathy. I'm always finding myself disgusted with their judgmental ways. if something doesn't go their way, they get angry and lash out. They always judge people and make fun of people. I just keep seeing how mean they are! It's pathetic!! They even hold on to the silliest things. Yet, even though I am disgusted by their behavior, I don't want to lose them. I'm stuck in the past with them. I keep thinking about how we used to be. What makes this whole situation worse is how we signed a lease together for next school year. I decided to let the whole "burden" incident go for the sake of us living together, but they won't seem to let go. I'm getting to the point of finding them a roommate to replace me now. I'm getting tired of this. They are not my true friends. What do I do? I can't find myself letting go of the friendship. I'm still holding on to the good times. They got me through a lot and always made me smile, no matter what. But now I feel like I'm not much to them anymore. I'm broken, they make me feel broken. I'm usually pretty strong, but when the people you care about most do this, it really gets to you, especially when you really need them.
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Old 6th March 2012, 6:30 AM   #2
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"I never came to them for help/advice, just a listening ear. Apparently that creates a burden" you wrote, means you need a professional counsellor to talk to, replacing them
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Old 6th March 2012, 9:12 AM   #3
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It's very painful to feel abandoned by people who mean a lot to you, as well as realizing that they aren't good for you. Based on your statements I agree that you should talk to a professional counselor immediately who can help you through this tough time.
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Old 6th March 2012, 8:54 PM   #4
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Originally Posted by darkmoon View Post
"I never came to them for help/advice, just a listening ear. Apparently that creates a burden" you wrote, means you need a professional counsellor to talk to, replacing them
I actually do have one. It comes off as a surprise that they would say it's creating a burden because I hardly go to them, when I do, I don't tell nearly as much to them as I would with my counselor. I'm hardly ever upset around them and I hardly confide in them. I usually hold myself pretty well with issues regarding the past, it's just recent events that are really getting to me. I always listen to them and their problems, I don't see it as a burden. Especially since on of them has an alcoholic father and her mother is going through depression, I always listen to her. Yet, the few times I confide in them, it's a burden? I just don't understand, to be honest.
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Old 7th March 2012, 12:19 PM   #5
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Someone once told me, if the people in your life don't add anything positive to it....they don't need to be in your life.

Apparentley, these so called friends of yours are not good friends.

I like your idea of finding a roomate for them.

Hope things turn out well for you.
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Old 7th March 2012, 12:50 PM   #6
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Those so-called friends of yours seem particularly mean. It's a shame they are so judgmental. You might be better off finding new friends if they make fun of people all the time. They should also be more understanding about the fact that you said something bad happened and that's why you are silent. They sound like they need to grow up.
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Old 7th March 2012, 1:20 PM   #7
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Originally Posted by JJ72 View Post
Someone once told me, if the people in your life don't add anything positive to it....they don't need to be in your life.

Apparentley, these so called friends of yours are not good friends.

I like your idea of finding a roomate for them.

Hope things turn out well for you.

Yeah, I agree. I am in the process of finding them a roommate to replace my lease. -_- The apartment is so much more cheaper than the dorms though.
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Old 8th March 2012, 5:23 PM   #8
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you have to be very careful at who you label a "Friend" i think the people you described are those kind who are only in interest in socializing and having fun. ive come a cross people like, they always disappear when your having a bad day, they dont stick around after the party is over. dont worry about "LETTING GO OF A FRIENDSHIP! just accept that weren't your friends to begin with. concentrate on getting yourself through this rough time.
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