Ashbash11 Posted July 13, 2011 Share Posted July 13, 2011 I'm having a problem with my best friend. She and I were college roommates for 3 years, and we were really close all throughout college (we kept in touch over the summers by phone). However, once we graduated from college, I went on to graduate school in another state, about 4 hours away. I ended up living there for almost 4 years, and during this time, she visited me twice (she took a bus, which was a 4 hour ride). Usually there seemed to be an expectation that I would visit her... During these years, I made many trips to visit her (at least 10 times, if not more). Fast forward to this past year. I moved across the country to be with my boyfriend and start an internship. We now only speak on the phone once every 2-3 months (which is hardly at all, compared to once per week, or once every 2 weeks..). She did not visit me. I came back to the east coast for the summer, and when I asked her if we could meet up, she gave a long list of excuses "I am planning a trip with my boyfriend," "I had a mole removed from under my arm and its sore, so I can't travel.." etc. etc. She said that she would not be able to take the bus down to see me, even for a weekend. She said that in order to see each other, I would have to travel to her home town (about a 6 hour bus ride) to see her... I felt that this was really unfair, considering that I flew 3,000 miles across the country and now she wants me to take ANOTHER trip? I have known this girl for 8 years (she was my first friend at college) and we've always been close, but it seems like our friendship has changed. It could be the distance, but I'm not sure... what should I do? I can't decide if I should just let things fizzle out, or continue to put in effort? She's always saying that she "loves" me and "misses" me, but then she won't even take a 4 hour bus ride to visit me? I am only on the east coast for about 4-5 weeks... I feel like I am not important to her anymore.. I can't talk about it with her because she gets really defensive. It makes me sad, because she was always the one friend I knew would be there. Link to post Share on other sites
iya12 Posted July 16, 2011 Share Posted July 16, 2011 How about a serious conversation. Communication is key. Write her a letter if there's no time. Also, be patient. Give her time. Link to post Share on other sites
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