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#$%^ Facebook


Friendship Having issues with a friend? Get it off your chest!

Old 25th May 2011, 7:11 PM   #1
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#$%^ Facebook

Several people from my past have sent me a friend request after YEARS of no contact. Their request contains no message, nothing. One person friend-requested me with whom I'd had a bad falling out about 12 years ago.

Am I the only person who finds this really rude? I have no problem with current contacts sending friend requests with no message, but people with whom I had a history that was much more "real" than a facebook "friendship" sending a request after years of no contact, I find obnoxious. I would never do that. It's like they don't want any "real" contact with me, only access to my Facebook info so that they can satisfy their curiosity as to what I'm up to.

So far I've ignored such requests.
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Old 26th May 2011, 6:46 AM   #2
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I think that's the whole point of FB: to put people you haven't heard from in years in contact with one another. Perhaps it's an attempt from some to bury the hatchet (12 years IS a long time to hold a grudge). I'm not sure about attaching messages to friend requests, I never tried.

All in all, I don't think it's "rude" Maybe they lost your phone no# or moved too far to visit. Give them a chance, you can always block them later.
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Old 26th May 2011, 8:54 AM   #3
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Errr, what? No, I have done that with hundreds of old high school, grade school, etc friends and acquaintances, and so have they with me. It would take too much time to send a personalized message to every single person in your class in high school. Unless you would prefer FB didn't exist, in which case, yes, they probably would not have contacted you. Unless you were really close in the past, old friendships drift away and fall apart. It is simply impossible to maintain 'RL' contact with hundreds of prior acquaintances, unless you work as a socialite or somesuch. Therein lies the beauty of new technology.
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Old 2nd June 2011, 1:40 AM   #4
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Quote:
Originally Posted by GreenCove View Post
Several people from my past have sent me a friend request after YEARS of no contact. Their request contains no message, nothing. One person friend-requested me with whom I'd had a bad falling out about 12 years ago.

Am I the only person who finds this really rude? I have no problem with current contacts sending friend requests with no message, but people with whom I had a history that was much more "real" than a facebook "friendship" sending a request after years of no contact, I find obnoxious. I would never do that. It's like they don't want any "real" contact with me, only access to my Facebook info so that they can satisfy their curiosity as to what I'm up to.

So far I've ignored such requests.
I have had that happen to me on the first round with facebook. People i went to school with, who never talked to me in school and who really did not like me started adding me on facebook. I had not seen or heard from them since school and yet they were adding me...well i started having problems on my old facebook and at first was not sure what was going on...so i deactivated my account for awhile and then wanted to go back playing the games again...I decided to make up a new account and still have my real name..and thats what i did...Funny thing, it was the new friends that i added on there were the ones that played the games and all that stuff and are who i miss the most on my old account. I don"t understand it either.
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Old 5th June 2011, 8:01 PM   #5
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Ohhh Facebook... it can be such a blessing and a curse. I actually just deleted my Facebook account today. Not de-activated, but actually DELETED it. Here's what I figure: the people who are most important to me have my phone number and email address. Facebook just serves as a way to get a glimpse into the lives of people I mostly don't care much about. It's also an easy way out for people to wish you a happy birthday, and to contact you in general. No one calls each other just to say "hi" anymore..

To answer your question, I have also had the same experience: enemies from 12 years ago, suddenly add me as a friend out of the blue, just so that they can see what I've been up to.. It's oddly disturbing to me, actually. What made them think of me all of a sudden, and why are they so interested in seeing my pictures and my life? I decided that my life would be more useful and positive without Facebook. Call me gutsy, but I got rid of it!
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Old 5th June 2011, 8:09 PM   #6
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Originally Posted by elsa View Post
The "People you may know" function is weird though. Does anyone know which parameters Facebook uses for that one? If you view someone's profile is that enough for you to pop up as someone that person might know?
Randomly selects from people you have mutual friends with.
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Old 5th June 2011, 8:59 PM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by GreenCove View Post
Several people from my past have sent me a friend request after YEARS of no contact. Their request contains no message, nothing. One person friend-requested me with whom I'd had a bad falling out about 12 years ago.

Am I the only person who finds this really rude? I have no problem with current contacts sending friend requests with no message, but people with whom I had a history that was much more "real" than a facebook "friendship" sending a request after years of no contact, I find obnoxious. I would never do that. It's like they don't want any "real" contact with me, only access to my Facebook info so that they can satisfy their curiosity as to what I'm up to.

So far I've ignored such requests.
Even more infuriating to me is getting friend request from people I couldn't stand in HS/college/growing up and they know I can't stand them. I not only ignore them, I remind them of why I had chosen not to have contact with them before facebook.
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Old 6th June 2011, 3:20 PM   #8
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It is obnoxious. I've had plenty of those requests from people I couldn't stand or wasn't friends with at all in junior high/high school. I've gotten requests from people I had never met before who I had mutual friends with. I cancel all the requests and mark that I don't know those people so that I never get any from them again. I had deleted my first FB account and on that, I had an entire list of people I remembered who I didn't want interacting with me at all blocked. Perhaps I should redo that.
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