Would you give up or not?

[Hawaiian808]

If your life has changed fully and you've never felt this way before. Entirely, everything you have done enough for a friend, you showed yourself you have been there for them for quite awhile. You like the person so much and that they sparkled you everyday because either there handsome, beautiful, cute, or amazing. With spending all that time with someone caring, supporting, and being there for them. You know almost about everything about them such as hobbies, likes, dislikes, movies, sports, etc. You've never had a chance with that person or ever gone out on a date but, you know how she/he is with their personality, life, etc. Let's say, you've been around for months and you showed enough effort but, it felt like it wasn't enough or if your friendship was moving to fast into a Boyfriend or Girlfriend relationship. Remember that she or he would only like you as a friend!; For yourself, your in love as you know half of their life and what they been going through lately. Till that person is ready, they will eventually choose you but, you have to admit or consider the idea that you may or may not be the chosen one for her. Even if you never gave up on her, eventually she/he will regret their feelings that they made the wrong mistake that you would've been the better choice. As long as you know what she wants for her desires. You have to be patient and wait for her/him. Will anyone give up or not? Share your opinions, how would you feel?

Edited July 16, 2010 by Hawaiian808

[vintagecat]

I'm not sure what you are asking exactly. I'll give it a shot from the other side of the equation. Years ago a very nice man (but seriously not even close to my attraction "type') and I had a friendship. I sensed that he had developed romantic feelings for me that I could not reciprocate. I slowly pulled out of the friendship because I felt that I couldn't give him what he needed from me and I didn't want to appear to be "using" him or leading him on. Not everyone in my past situation behaves ethically toward their crushing "friends" that want to be so much more as it's comforting to have someone in the pinch hitting position that will jump when you ask them to, who adores your every move. I'd say the majority keep their crushing friends dangling for the benefits. Unfair IMO.

 

Did I experience regret? No, not really. It was unfortunate that the friendship had to dissolve but it did. When he married a number of years ago I was very happy for him. Even though I had trouble for a time finding the right man and had a rocky spell in my own love life, I would have never been "ready" for that friend as a mate. I wasn't sexually attracted to him and missing that component, it wouldn't have been smart or right to attempt to engage him in a romantic relationship regardless of his high level worth as a human being and a potential mate for the right person. I would have made him and myself miserable. I dated or had friendships with a few other good men over the years that I couldn't convert into romantic partners as well. If or when I felt the balance tip and they needed more from me than I could give, I pulled out of the relationship in order to not leave them hanging with a mistaken impression that there was a chance. I tell you this as a happily married woman of almost 20 years with the right partner, not a perfect partner, but one that is right for me.

 

If things aren't working, waiting is not your best course of action. Find other people and look for the mutual spark and affection. If one thing is certain, it is that life is short. You are 20 something then 30, then you are in your 50s/60s/70s wondering where the time went. So if you are asking whether waiting for someone to "wake up" and realize that you are the person of their dreams, I'd say that this isn't a very likely outcome. Could happen possibly but the chances aren't good. Get out there and control your own destiny and find someone that returns the spark. Good luck to you.

Edited July 16, 2010 by vintagecat

[Lipsy10]

Are you saying that you love/carefor a friend and are waiting around for them to realise that they also love/carefor you? Sorry the post is a bit confusing. If that is what your saying then.....

 

You can't put your life on hold for someone else. While your pining for this person their getting on with their lives, meeting new bf/gf. If you've already told this person how you feel and they haven't returned the feeling then you must move on. You say they'll regret losing you one day well maybe they will but you can't presume to know how some one else will feel in the future. You can't make someone love you if they don't.

 

If you haven't told them how you feel then do so as soon as pos. Lifes too short to waste time pining. If you want them let them know. At least you'll know how they feel one way or the other.