Is it okay for me to feel this way?

[Not the love ace]

A few days ago (Tuesday night) I helped two friends of mine whom I am really close with, with a situation which albeit-was silly- but helped them anyway. In retrospect, it wasn't even for them but for my friends sister. It was her personal business and had something to do with her ex boyfriend and I am not even close at all with the sister of my friend. Not that we have issues but we just never hung out with each other.

 

So I paid for the cab to the ex-boyfriends place and paid for my friends fare back. The situation was very, very minor but the cops were involved and when I got back I only got an hour of sleep before I went to work and all this was last minute. Now, I am not trying to say that they owe me anything, as friends I love them and if I can help them, I will. I don't expect anything but appreciation and gratitude in return.

 

However, tonight I was extremely bored at home and asked my one of the two friends if they wanted to hangout. One went out with her girlfriends but her boyfriend (whom is the other friend) had nothing to do. So we texted and planned on doing something but I accidentally fell asleep because I was deprived of sleep for several days. So as I slept he called me several times but I was knocked out cold.

 

He didn't leave any voicemail or text messages of any kind so I immediately texted and called him back and he replied with a text telling me there's a party somewhere. So I texted his girlfriend and she told me she's at a party but didn't really elaborate on where.

 

So now I'm a little pissed and annoyed. Because I feel like after what I recently did for them, the MOST they could have done is at least been more informative of the party and let me know. I know its last minute but I would have appreciated a voicemail or something. Again, I want to emphasize that I don't expect them to bow down to me because of the favor they did for me, but this isn't the first time I do them a favor and then they do or go to an event without me and without telling me.

 

It makes me a little pissed and I feel like I am left out. Especially since there is cattiness within other people in our social circle who probably don't want me at the party if they are there, and I feel since they don't want to lose this particular person they may be bending over backwards.

 

I am going to confront them about this in an adult matter without making anything dramatic but I just want to know if I am right for feeling this way?

[Ronni_W]

He called you several times but you did not respond. He/they did not know why you were not responding and, in any case, the reason that you didn't is not his/their problem.

 

What prevented you from just asking for the location of the party, once you found out about it? You knew/know full well that there had been several attempts to get a hold of you -- what if they interpreted, from your lack of response, that you'd made other plans or realized that you simply weren't interested in hanging with them after all?

Honestly, I'm not getting how you're turning this particular situation into something over which feeling slighted and offended is your most appropriate emotional reaction.

 

But yes. Do have that conversation with them and make it clear what are your expectations when you do "favours" for your friends. Mention the appreciation and gratitude that you posted you want, and also that you'd like them to intuit your own desires and interests...even when you don't respond to their calls.

[Not the love ace]

You're right, I just was really bored out of my mind, miserable and just needed to hang out. On top of that I had been sleep deprived from work for a week or so and got a combine 5-6 hours of sleep. Though I fell asleep, I did my friends back by the way and got no answer in return. In the end though, I didn't miss out on much and I'm not going to make a big thing out of it. I just don't like to miss out on anything but I feel a little embarrassed now:o