Back on the lonely road again

[Not the love ace]

Okay,

 

So I lost a few friends last night thanks to one friend who was obsessed with me and wanted more than just a friendship. I had a long, drawn out dispute for her for nearly a year now and put up with her a lot. So now that I am not friends with her, I'll no longer see any of my other friends, whom I really liked to hang out with, but won't be able too because they all take her side without listening to me.

 

I decided to give up on my friendship with her and no longer put up with her but in return I lost a lot of friends now. Which I must admit, I'm very bummed about. I'm usually alone anyhow because my work requires me to travel a lot and be different places for multiple periods of time which keeps me from seeing my family or friends as much as I would like.

 

However, its not the absence that is ruining my friendship(s). This one person (the obsessed girl) doesn't respect the fact that I am gone to provide for my life and my family and think I am just ignoring her and complains she doesn't see me enough and since she can't what she wants from me, she maligns me in an attempt to make herself feel better about not being my friend and having valid reasons at not being my friend.

 

I decided its not healthy to be friends with someone or people who are going to look at me as an idea and not as a friend.

 

But I am not happy about being alone again. Friends have not been consistent in my life and they are few and far between for me. For the first time in my life I am scared and heart broken about being without friends.

 

I have my family and while I love them, I just don't have the same things in common with them that I can find in friends who have the same mutual interest. I go out to clubs, bars, lounges and other social places and events by myself and I do socialize and get along with people but I never exactly form a bond. Its mostly just for that moment or we exchange numbers but never see each other again.

 

I'm pissed and frustrated at everything. I'm 23 years old, and this is the age where I should be partying it up, and having friends to shoot the ****s with. Not playing video games by myself on a Friday and Saturday night at 2AM.

 

I have all the qualities for a good friends I believe. I keep in touch with people, I always throw some sort of party, I contact my friends and even get them stuff for their birthday, I got out of my way to comfort them, I'm very considerate and thoughtful, but honestly while my feelings are genuine, I feel like I do that out of desperation for keeping friends.

 

I really don't want to be alone again. I hate going out and seeing everyone partying it up with their friends, while I just see from the outside looking in.

 

 

How can I cope with this? Anyone been in the same boat?

[Arabella]

It really sucks what happened with your friends but look at it this way: If they believe her without even listening to your side of the story, they aren't good friends! You haven't lost much.

 

I completely understand how you feel about finding yourself friendless though. I moved from Europe to the US and it was very difficult for me to adapt to not having my friends to hang out with. I also played video games a lot as a result

 

Don't feel bad. Friends will come again, especially at 23. I'm a couple years older and I find that I'm slowly but surely starting to build my friend pool again. Just remember, quality is better than quantity!

 

Arabella