nama Posted July 13, 2009 Share Posted July 13, 2009 Hi guys, I need clarification on this situation, I have posted about this before but now its really doing my head in! A girl who I went to school with is back in town - one of my very close friends. She broke up with her bf and had to move back home. Before this I hardly saw her. Both of our faults. I love her to bits and I have been there to move her back home and listen to her when she was down etc. However now my conscience is tearing me down. I'm getting annoyed with her. She constantly goes on and on about her bf. She wants him to realise he has made a mistake and thats it. She is going to meet him this week to show him what he is missing out on. She doesn't want to get back together with him. She rings me nearly everyday about this and I'm getting to the point where I ignore her calls. Secondly and most importantly I don't like going out with her. She is a very attractive woman and she knows it. Whenever I go out with her I get the feeling that she watches people watch her and everything is about how people look. She will always tell me who told her she was beautiful etc. She seems to be so wound up in herself! I don't usually associate with such people as I find them shallow however this is a dear friend of mine. This is so ****ing trivial but is doing my head in! I have to hold my hands up and say yes I am envious of her and wish I had such admirers. I'm not so insecure - I do believe that I am attractive. So this is not only down to my own insecurities. I just don't know what to do as I fear I will end up just shutting her out. Any advice??? Thanks!!! xx Link to post Share on other sites
norajane Posted July 13, 2009 Share Posted July 13, 2009 She sounds really self-absorbed. You could try talking to her about it, but odds are, she won't see it your way and will just get angry with you. Which might not be the worst thing in the world. Friendship is a two-way street. If you're the only giving in terms of listening and being there for her, and she does nothing for you, then maybe it's time to distance yourself and end the friendship. Your only other option is to confront her: "you're a dear friend, and I want to be there for you; however, I've been feeling like that's all our friendship has turned into. I find myself not wanting to talk to you or go out with you because it isn't fun, I'm tired of only talking about your ex, and I'm tired of this whole friendship being about you and your needs." Link to post Share on other sites
Thaddeus Posted July 13, 2009 Share Posted July 13, 2009 You're friend-zoned. Norajane is right, she's self-absorbed. And if you let her she'll suck the life right out of you. Link to post Share on other sites
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