True2form Posted May 15, 2009 Share Posted May 15, 2009 I've been living in a houseshare for this academic year. My tenancy is meant to go on until July 1st but i had to move out due to health issues. Funnily enough, since I've been out of that house I've improved dramatically and my symptoms are dying off every day. It's bliss. I mean, maybe it's because I'm an only child and have no sisters or siblings to practice this co-existing rivalry with, but this girl was just out of order. It was never to my face either, she'd act like nothing was wrong and it was all done behind my back or she would be talking to me about someone else and how stupid they were. I'm not good at coping with this, especially when I'm stuck with someone day in day out. I think a bit like a bloke too... I rather face to face combat, I don't mean physical, I just mean, having it all out in one verbal session and then putting it aside. I think things boiled over when I had to hand over the direct debit for the electricity accounts cause of leaving. The girl who'd had them before me hadn't given in meter readings or something stupid, and while I'd had it, I hadn't rectified this. This girl got hold of the accounts, sorted out the debt by giving in correct readings, but we still had an amount outstanding. She blamed it soully on me, telling everyone I'd "messed up the accounts" when I confronted her asking "Did you say I'd messed up the accounts?" she just went off on one which didn't answer my question at all just justified why she might have said it. I feel a bit of a coward that I couldn't just stick up to her when I was in the house but I'm not the type of person who finds it easy to just let rip and then have to spend all the time when that person is in the same room ignoring/being ignored by them... Anyway, I'm glad I'm out of the hellhole. Hopefully I'll be able to avoid this in future, but I'm not sure how! Link to post Share on other sites
Ronni_W Posted May 15, 2009 Share Posted May 15, 2009 Hopefully I'll be able to avoid this in future, but I'm not sure how! Well...you can set healthy boundaries, act assertively and speak out for your own needs, wants, preferences and dislikes without "letting it rip" Following is a link to an 'intro' on assertive communications: http://ezinearticles.com/?Assertive-Communication---6-Tips-For-Effective-Use&id=10259 Good luck! It does take commitment and LOTS of practice but, once you master it, your life and relationships will improve (which does sometimes mean letting go of relationships that do not really support, promote and encourage you in your personal goals and endeavours)...at least, that was the case for me. Link to post Share on other sites
Author True2form Posted May 19, 2009 Author Share Posted May 19, 2009 Thanks very much, Ronni, that article was great. I don't think I'll be friends with this girl again, she's horrible. It was hard to start picking up on the bitchiness, I was mostly in denial because the year previous she had been a great friend and a lot of fun. It takes a couple of months for you to realise Miss Sunshine is not coming back! And sometimes, that period of time can be very very damaging to one's confidence Link to post Share on other sites
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