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why would a person have internet friends and not real life friends?


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Old 1st April 2009, 7:55 PM   #1
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why would a person have internet friends and not real life friends?

I go to a college on weekends, and i met a guy the other week.

i chat with him sometimes, and he seems like a nice guy. we swapped e-mails (in case one of us misses class and needs notes to catch up) and we chat on MSN now and then.

the thing is, he has a LOT of MSN contacts, but seems to have few friends in real life. he chats with plenty of people online, almost everyday, but he seems to be a bit of a loner in the real world. the thing is though, also, that people say he is a nice guy both online and in the real world. the same compliments people give him both online and in the real world hold true. so how come he can make friends easily online, but not in real life, despite the fact that people see him the same way in both places?

i'd like to introduce him to people in real life, some of my buddies and such, and i'll bring it up the next time i chat with him, but it just seems a bit strange.

what would you think if you knew a person like this? lack of social skills? shyness? but then surely social skills are needed, in some sense, to make friends online, no?
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Old 1st April 2009, 11:52 PM   #2
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Yes shyness can be factor and so can lack of social skills. Some people have it easier online than in real life. Because see online you get to write whatever you want to and can correct a mistake on time whereas in real life you really can't. If give a bad impression the first time when doing the talking then that's it, you will have to make a huge effort for that person not to remember that specific event.
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Old 1st April 2009, 11:54 PM   #3
 
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Why do you think, N? I'm sure you're clever enough to come up with as good an explanation as anyone else here.

I'm waiting for you to post a thread asking why people sometimes feel sad.
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Old 1st April 2009, 11:59 PM   #4
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Why do you think, N? I'm sure you're clever enough to come up with as good an explanation as anyone else here.

I'm waiting for you to post a thread asking why people sometimes feel sad.
i'm guessing it's social skills, or shyness, or just being socially retarded.
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Old 2nd April 2009, 12:17 AM   #5
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One word....LAZINESS! Even the shyest of normal people had a friend or two before the Internet came along.

What baffles me to the max is there are THOUSANDS of males and females who claim to be boyfriend and girlfriend who carry on in cyberspace but who have never met each other in person.

Now we conduct friendships on FaceBook and MySpace. Shxt, one day we'll be able to use our hard drives to impregnate and babies will be raised on MyKid.

I repeat...LAZINESS!
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Old 2nd April 2009, 12:20 AM   #6
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Originally Posted by johan View Post
Why do you think, N? I'm sure you're clever enough to come up with as good an explanation as anyone else here.

I'm waiting for you to post a thread asking why people sometimes feel sad.
No kidding...another thread by nana yaw II

You've posted many times about how you are a social retard, and have no social skills.

You have also posted about what a violent person you are.

This is a bogus thread, you are actually talking about YOURSELF.
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Old 2nd April 2009, 12:20 AM   #7
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what do you mean by laziness?
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Old 2nd April 2009, 12:51 AM   #8
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I seem to have a lot more online friends than real-life friends. This is the way I see it: people with common interests can easily find other people who they get on with, whereas those of us who have less common interests find it more difficult to meet real-life friends where we live - but the internet is huge so it's easier to find people we have something in common with online.

Take me as an example: I can't just go to a bar and easily find some guy who wants to talk about quantum physics or philosophy, but I can go online and find like-minded people in a discussion forum or chat room much more easily (people who will find me fascinating, unlike many real-life people who would find me boring). Plus I'm kinda shy, so I find it much easier to socialise online where there's less face-to-face pressure.

I like to go out as much as anyone, and I'd probably go out more if I had a number of like-minded friends living nearby, but the truth is I don't meet many RL people who I really get on with well. I'm a geek Nowadays, rather than pushing myself to be in social situations where I feel uncomfortable, I've accepted who I am and I'm happy to spend time with the few people who I do really like.
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Old 2nd April 2009, 1:41 PM   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nana yaw II View Post
I go to a college on weekends, and i met a guy the other week.

i chat with him sometimes, and he seems like a nice guy. we swapped e-mails (in case one of us misses class and needs notes to catch up) and we chat on MSN now and then.

the thing is, he has a LOT of MSN contacts, but seems to have few friends in real life. he chats with plenty of people online, almost everyday, but he seems to be a bit of a loner in the real world. the thing is though, also, that people say he is a nice guy both online and in the real world. the same compliments people give him both online and in the real world hold true. so how come he can make friends easily online, but not in real life, despite the fact that people see him the same way in both places?

i'd like to introduce him to people in real life, some of my buddies and such, and i'll bring it up the next time i chat with him, but it just seems a bit strange.

what would you think if you knew a person like this? lack of social skills? shyness? but then surely social skills are needed, in some sense, to make friends online, no?
I'm much more open when I'm on line. I'm not afraid of appearing awkward and I have more time to think about what I'm going to say and how to word it. In the real world I sometime start to talk before I have a complete thought in my head and I have to stop and think in the middle of something I was saying... I can totally understand why someone would prefer chatting online vs the real world.
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Old 2nd April 2009, 1:58 PM   #10
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Something else I just thought of: It's a lot easier to find someone on the internet who shares your same interests like srapbooking, pets, gardening...
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Old 7th April 2009, 12:19 PM   #11
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nana yaw II View Post
I go to a college on weekends, and i met a guy the other week.

i chat with him sometimes, and he seems like a nice guy. we swapped e-mails (in case one of us misses class and needs notes to catch up) and we chat on MSN now and then.

the thing is, he has a LOT of MSN contacts, but seems to have few friends in real life. he chats with plenty of people online, almost everyday, but he seems to be a bit of a loner in the real world. the thing is though, also, that people say he is a nice guy both online and in the real world. the same compliments people give him both online and in the real world hold true. so how come he can make friends easily online, but not in real life, despite the fact that people see him the same way in both places?

i'd like to introduce him to people in real life, some of my buddies and such, and i'll bring it up the next time i chat with him, but it just seems a bit strange.

what would you think if you knew a person like this? lack of social skills? shyness? but then surely social skills are needed, in some sense, to make friends online, no?
just wondering, have you talked with him about how he has more online friends? I mean, how do you know he has lots of contacts?

I think I have about the same amount of online and real life friends. Some of my online friends I am very close with and cherish my friendships with them. I'd say shyness has a lot to do with not being able to meet new ppl easily, at least, that is the case with me. I'm really close with ppl I have known a while. It's harder with ppl I just meet and or have trouble meeting. It's just easier online, but I am the same way online and in real life as far as my personality goes.
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