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another politeness question


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Old 17th February 2002, 2:20 PM   #1
yes
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another politeness question

hi again

i have one more QN bout how to be polite in some situations.

here's the deal: i have several groups of friends who don't know each other - about 3-4 groups i guess. Sometimes, one group is planning to go out, and invites me along, but i already have plans with another group, so i decline. Now - i think those who invited me 2nd sometimes get mad at me cuz i didnt invite them along to whatever i was doing ... but the reason i dont invite them is i'm going w/ a totally different gang of people, and they wouldn't mix well (in my opinion) ...

i never say WHAT im doing instead of going out with them - i simply say that i already have plans. is that okay?

i know its ok for me - if ppl just tell me they're busy, its fine, but if they tell me 'oh, sorry, im going there n there with so and so', i feel uncomfortable w/ not being invited ...

any comments? thanks
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Old 17th February 2002, 4:27 PM   #2
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Re: another politeness question

You are perfectly correct to tell people you have other plans. It's absolutely none of their business what those plans are and don't offer the information.

If they get mad because you didn't invite them along for the plans you made, that's just their immaturity. If your friends actually do that, you might want to think about changing friends.
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Old 17th February 2002, 5:15 PM   #3
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Re: another politeness question

Well, it would be good to spend time with them once in a while. If you decline on them over and over than a day will come when they wont offer you to go out with them anymore.

Last weekend a girl friend of mine, I grew up with invited me to go clubing uptown. I usually turn her down because of my cash flow. What money I have I enjoy putting it into my house. So instead of turning her down again, I went out & partied like a rock star till 4am.

So that way I still have my options when Im in the mood to party.

I understand what you mean by the two groups, and how each one considers a good time totaly different from the other group. Im more comfortable in a pair of jeans and a leather jacket. I can hang out in a bar or pool hall. I can invite people my parents age over to my home for cocktails. But also I can dress up like a hoochy momma and go clubing.

To me, I can go out any where to do anything and have a good time. Im pretty sure that if you ask a friend or two from the other group to go shoot some pool or what ever that you can show them a good time. I think that its just all in the company of the person your with to make it a good time. Envite them one night, theres no harm in it is there?
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You are perfectly correct to tell people you have other plans. It's absolutely none of their business what those plans are and don't offer the information. If they get mad because you didn't invite them along for the plans you made, that's just their immaturity. If your friends actually do that, you might want to think about changing friends.
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