Mary Shadows Posted March 16, 2007 Share Posted March 16, 2007 I am at at point in my life where I feel like I should really be able to rely on that one good friend. Well, I have have a lot of "Best Friends" in high school n such, but you know how those always turn out huh... Don't get me wrong, I hang out with a couple people, but I wouldn't consider them my BEst Friends. Also a lot of the friends I do have are either a couple years older, or a couple years younger. I don't know why that is though:o...but I feel as though I find myself searching for that perfect friend all the time, n then I get stuck on that person n think she is the greatest friend ever, I don't know what I'm doing wrong. I will have this close friend for awhile, then something will happen, n then we wont talk anymore. I also judge her too quickly n say she's perfect, "so sweet" such a good "listener" ect ect...What am I doing wrong???? Why don't I have a good true Best Friend like in the movies? I consider myself a great friend, but it always seems that I fall short of a great true loving friend or loose them somehow:( HELP??? Link to post Share on other sites
kimberlyk Posted March 16, 2007 Share Posted March 16, 2007 Friends are people that you bring into your life to share and make memories with. It's also a two way street, you are there for them and they are there for you, regardless of the situation...of course you don't want to bring people into your life who suck the life out of you. When it comes down to it, I am having a bit of a hard time understanding what it is you are saying/asking here. When you find friends you really like, does it fizzle out, do you just quit talking to them...? Explain a little more here...like what happens exactly that you are no longer friends with these people. You have to remember to be there for them when they need you or they will not be there for you when you really need them, think of it like an investment, you will not see your return on investment right away, it's a gradual growth. The majority of my friends are all from childhood and they have proven to be the most positive influences in my life. You can't also expect your friends to be just like you, you need diversity in your life so you will always have different points of views to grow upon, it makes for a very well-rounded 'you'...I'm not saying that you have to follow their every word, but rather take their points of views and form your own opinions for yourself. Link to post Share on other sites
Virgo1982 Posted March 16, 2007 Share Posted March 16, 2007 You have high expectations. If you want to continue this way, you have to be patient, but movies are for entertainment purposes only. In real life, people are human and their characters are more complex. You may have had good friends, but didn't realize because you were being idealistic, then you saw some of their flaws and were put off. Everyone has flaws-including you. Don't be so hard on your friends. Also, in high school it's important to fit in, but once you reach a certain maturity, those things go out the window. Of course you want a friend who has common interests, but if your friend always agrees with you, there's a good chance they shouldn't be around anyway. Real friends help each other to grow. If one of my friends is wrong, I tell them. If I'm wrong, they let me know and we move on. That's what good friends do. Simply sit back and evaluate what behavior disturbs you and you might realize they're not as bad as you thought. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mary Shadows Posted March 17, 2007 Author Share Posted March 17, 2007 Simply sit back and evaluate what behavior disturbs you and you might realize they're not as bad as you thought. You see, I think you might be so right...maybe it's me who just has way too high expectations n when I don't see something I like, I switch Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mary Shadows Posted March 17, 2007 Author Share Posted March 17, 2007 I am having a bit of a hard time understanding what it is you are saying/asking here. When you find friends you really like, does it fizzle out, do you just quit talking to them...? quote] well let me use my "friend" I thought she was until she lied to me, created drama, n all of the above. She betrayed me, n I just can't give more chances to these people I though they were, when in reality they're evil Link to post Share on other sites
Virgo1982 Posted March 17, 2007 Share Posted March 17, 2007 I am having a bit of a hard time understanding what it is you are saying/asking here. When you find friends you really like, does it fizzle out, do you just quit talking to them...? quote] well let me use my "friend" I thought she was until she lied to me, created drama, n all of the above. She betrayed me, n I just can't give more chances to these people I though they were, when in reality they're evil Well, she was definitely not a friend to you. Another thing is, you seem to give people credit too quickly and you wind up being hurt because you put these people on a pedestal. You should also give your relationships rankings according to their personality. For example, there are some people who aren't capable of being a true friend to you and they are associates who you might go out and have a drink with or hang out with, but you can't trust them with your secrets or count on them for much. You have those people who don't enjoy the same activities, but you can talk to them about anything and trust them to be a real friend. Some people are good listeners because they are good listeners. Some people have a hidden agenda. You have to pay attention to certain signs and kind of test them in a sense to see if you can trust them. You have to pay attention to how they interact with their loved ones. If they talk about everyone negatively, they probably talk about you in the same way. You'll be alright. We all have to live and learn. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mary Shadows Posted March 19, 2007 Author Share Posted March 19, 2007 Well, she was definitely not a friend to you. Another thing is, you seem to give people credit too quickly and you wind up being hurt because you put these people on a pedestal. You should also give your relationships rankings according to their personality. For example, there are some people who aren't capable of being a true friend to you and they are associates who you might go out and have a drink with or hang out with, but you can't trust them with your secrets or count on them for much. You have those people who don't enjoy the same activities, but you can talk to them about anything and trust them to be a real friend. Some people are good listeners because they are good listeners. Some people have a hidden agenda. You have to pay attention to certain signs and kind of test them in a sense to see if you can trust them. You have to pay attention to how they interact with their loved ones. If they talk about everyone negatively, they probably talk about you in the same way. You'll be alright. We all have to live and learn. Thanks so much for all the advise. I think that I also get attached too easily to my friends as well Link to post Share on other sites
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