Is is smart to pursue my general manager?

[LVBABE]

Hi! I'm new here and I have a problem that has been bothering me for a few months now and I'm hoping someone has some advice for me. I started a new job at a restaurant a few months ago and I immediately fell in love with my general manager. As time progressed, I discovered that he is married and has one son. I have also heard that his marriage is on the rocks right now and the only reason divorce hasn't occurred is because she wants all his money. My GM offered me a Training job just after 3 months of working, a position that usually takes a year to even start training for. I always have my meals paid for by him, I get my way with almost anything, and he constantly asks me about my life and what's happeneing in it. One night he offered me a ride home and I declined because I didn't trust myself alone with him in the truck. The kicker is that he is 31 and I am 20. I dream about him all the time and I think about getting intimate with him. I have heard some awful rumors about him from other co workers but it seems as though all the girls are rather mad about the relationship I have with him already and they often tell me why I shouldn't pursue him. I really do like him, I guess he is the first guy that I would actually be fully committed to. I believe that my life would be great with him but I don't know if I should try to flirt and see what happens or is it just lust that we have for one another. Any suggestions or ways to approach this would be greatly appreciated. Thanks!:love

[slubberdegullion]

You're setting yourself up for some seriousl heartbreak, lvbabe. It's not the difference in ages; that's relatively easy to manage.

 

But he's your boss. He's married. And you're not in love, you're infatuated. Nothing wrong with infatuation, of course, provided one doesn't mistake it for anything deeper.

 

Best way to approach? Don't. Just plain don't.

[Outcast]

I have also heard that his marriage is on the rocks right now and the only reason divorce hasn't occurred is because she wants all his money.

 

Right. Oldest story in the book.

 

I have heard some awful rumors about him from other co workers but it seems as though all the girls are rather mad about the relationship I have with him already and they often tell me why I shouldn't pursue him

 

You're being dreadfully naive. The rumours are likely true and the other girls know what a disaster a relationship with him will be. Pay attention and heed all their warnings or you'll end up very sorry.

[LVBABE]

Thanks for the advice! I guess my only other question is how can I make him stop coming onto me and flirting with me, it seems like it just makes it worse.

 

And how do I stop my "infatuation" with him?" I've never had a problem like this in other relationships.

[LVBABE]

Thanks for the advice! I guess my only other question is how can I make him stop coming onto me and flirting with me, it seems like it just makes it worse.

 

And how do I stop my "infatuation" with him?" I've never had a problem like this in other relationships.

[Outcast]

Thanks for the advice! I guess my only other question is how can I make him stop coming onto me and flirting with me, it seems like it just makes it worse.

 

Ignore him. Look away or walk away. Stop smiling if you were smiling when he started doing it. If he persists anyway, tell him in the friendliest way possible to please maintain a professional relationship with you.

 

And how do I stop my "infatuation" with him?" I've never had a problem like this in other relationships.

 

Read all the OW threads about the affairs with married men and the longterm sadness, misery, lies, etc etc etc. It should cure you of wanting to get involved in such a mess. There's plenty of single guys out there. Focus on finding one.

[DuranDuran]

If you want to push him away...gently...LIE...I'd recommend making up a new boyfriend or love interest. Then talk about your new love whenever he's around. He'll clue-in that you have someone new in your life and will start to back off.

 

As well, he'll respect you and still treat you well. Works better then ignoring him.

[LVBABE]

The funny thing is that I have been seeing someone since I started to like my GM. I really do love him, but sometimes I would lose focus on him and think about my GM. For some odd reason I am always attracted to older, married men!!! I think that mentioning my new fling could possibly clue him in. I love my job and I don't want to risk it by trying to get with my GM. Hopefully with time, he will stop flirting and almost egging me on.

 

Another question for everyone, if he did happen to get divorced do you think it would be bad to try to form a relationship outside of the workplace?

 

If some sort of relationship did happen, I would insist that it stayed outside the work place, I know the girls I work with and they would notice it quickly. Any suggestions or comments?

[Devildog]

Another question for everyone, if he did happen to get divorced do you think it would be bad to try to form a relationship outside of the workplace?

 

If some sort of relationship did happen, I would insist that it stayed outside the work place, I know the girls I work with and they would notice it quickly. Any suggestions or comments?

 

Only if you were no longer working there. First of all, it is never a good idea to get into a romantic relationship with a co-worker. Especially if you like your job. What happens if things don't work out? It gets very difficult to maintain a professional relationship. Any negative thing that happens you will feel he is just getting back at you for whatever fight you have.

 

And this is your GM. Your boss. Again, bad situation. Horrible situation. Would you get anywhere based on your abilities as an employee, or your abilities in the sack? And no, you couldn't keep it secret from co-workers. No matter how hard yo tried, eventually someone would catch on.

 

Stay away from workplace romances.