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Career Burnout


Business and Professional Relationships Networking and maintaining a positive environment in the work place is important! Surviving the 9-to-5 within.

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Old 19th December 2017, 10:02 PM   #1
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Career Burnout

Hello all,


Not positive as to why I type this tonight, having a hard time thinking straight. I partly just want to vent but also to warn others of the situation I am facing. Hopefully I can gain some clarity and direction from some of you.


I am completely burnt out. I have been for several years and have recently just realized it. Its strange looking back how my life was being affected by my job without realizing it. I had achieved success in the eyes of my family and employer and I felt really good about my business accomplishments. All I did was work and that is what I regret the most. I was always trying to please someone else and for a long time I kept it up. I worked 60-70 hours a week at my real job while starting a real-estate investment business on the side. I worked rehabbing houses just about every weekend for the last few years. I never turned anything down, always had the "I can find a way to make it work attitude".


I have been having several issues in my personal life over the years, feeling unsatisfied or unhappy. I'm fairly sure it was my job that was making me miserable. I feel as if I was taken advantage of by my employer but I know that wasn't the case, I made my own decisions. I remember some of the choices I made over the years and they bother me so much. I chose to close a deal while standing outside my wife's hospital room as she was in labor. I chose not to take a true vacation in the past 6 years as I was to busy and would likely return to a huge disaster caused by me being absent. I chose to sit in a hotel with my 6 kids working on paperwork the day after we had to leave our home that caught on fire while I should have been there emotionally for them.


I ran into huge issues after our house caught fire. Insurance was a major pain in the ass, I had two new crappy houses I had just bought and I still needed to perform at my job. I absolutely fell apart. Work performance dropped significantly and I felt depression beyond anything I have ever been through.


Its been a year and three days since the fire. I am starting to get my performance back up at work and finally feeling good about things...... Last week I was informed that my pay is being adjusted, something like a %40 pay decrease. Nice timing, just before Christmas. I still need to fight them on this but its so hard when I feel so beat down. I cant blame them, I suck in their eyes currently and they can tell I'm not into it.


I have always put work and business first, ahead of my wife and children. I used to fit well in the company with my "work ethic". I am now trying to change things and am suffering the consequences. I work hard but I make sure to go home on time and spend time with my family.


I'm looking at a career change that will be in line with something I have always wanted to do but was too scared to take the leap. Its a huge risk but I'm kind of at my breaking point. I'm trying to stay positive and seeing this as a "blessing in disguise" type of situation.


Has anyone had anything remotely similar that prompted them to make a healthy change in their life?
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Old 19th December 2017, 10:16 PM   #2
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Honestly?

I credit my father for teaching me "work to live, NEVER live to work".

I may not have gobs of money, I may not have the most prestigious career.

But I do well for myself. Steadily earn more and get promotions. And I have a job I do not find stressful and it stays at the office.

It's always been important to me to have "work that stays at work". When I shut my office door at the end of the day, my work stays there until I return the next morning.

For that, I am thankful. Work life balance - decide what yours will be and make that your goal.
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Old 19th December 2017, 11:18 PM   #3
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Take the leap OP! Only good things are on the other side.

In my 20s I was d*mn convinced that Iíll make an academic career or... There was no or. This was my single drive in life. I used to live and breathe for my bacteria and the lab. No vacations (iíd lie Iím on vacation because the HR wanted and go back in the lab ).

I woke up one morning thinking why am I donít this??? Well, ok I didnít wake up thinking that. A rough guy with no formal education but incredible Ďstreet smartsí told me that: ďYou kniw what youíre doing but you donít know what are you doing it forĒ. Hurtful but right.

I made a flip, I had been two years in my new career - I donít love it as much as my science stuff but I got my life together. I went over the burnout and now that Iím nearing the time to flip back to my roots - Iím SO much more motivated, and Iím absolutely not going to go into it self-sacrificing as I was trying before. Main reason: I want it for long term, and my previous method was just not sustainable long term.

Jump out to something new, kniw it is not one way street - you can always go back, or go elsewhere.
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Old 19th December 2017, 11:56 PM   #4
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Take the leap. 40% pay decrease? If it was me...my boss would be needing some fire insurance of his own. I wouldn't take it lying down. Fight for your pay, find a way to get back at the nasty people who are backstabbing you... and then leave! Don't leave unfinished business or get run out - do it on your own terms. Your job should not cost you your life - either in terms of family time or in terms of physical/mental health.

I had something like this happen to me - I thought I had a life put together, but my partner cheated on me, my job went down the drain, etc... all at once. So I literally left everything. I messed up my ex's life as payback, then I moved to a new city/state, did my own thing for a while instead of working a job, and got a new relationship. It worked. Sometimes, change is good...as long as you are the one in control of the change!

In the meantime, question your motivations. As others have said, your work has to have a purpose beyond itself and beyond the money. In your case, your family is your purpose...at some point your devotion to your job begins to rob them of what belongs to them. Ask questions and figure out your plan of attack.
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Last edited by major_merrick; 20th December 2017 at 12:00 AM..
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Old 20th December 2017, 8:18 AM   #5
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Crazylove2002 View Post
I'm looking at a career change that will be in line with something I have always wanted to do but was too scared to take the leap. Its a huge risk but I'm kind of at my breaking point. I'm trying to stay positive and seeing this as a "blessing in disguise" type of situation.
I get the desire for the career change and I get the career/job burnout. I was feeling the same thing for along time. I used to do things like work right through lunch and work late and then continue to work remotely while at home. After a while it really messes with your moods and your self worth and your sense of achievement. (I am in IT and have been doing it for 30 years)

The way I dealt with it is I stopped letting the job take over all aspects of my life. I started forcing myself to stop working after I get home and I starting going to gym during lunches and so on.

Regarding career changes. Remember that the grass looks greener and the cows look sexier always in the other farmers field. Its like that for everyone and every human. They want a change.. there is that famous Monty Python skit -- the accountant who wants to be a Lion Tamer.. :-)

You need to be realistic and practical when it comes to career change. You don't just throw in the towel and the salary and seniority and pension just because you think a greener field is going to make you feel better. The realities are to start over again in another profession means exactly that -- you are "starting over" again -- meaning salary, seniority, political clout in the organization.

Usually "career changes" are inflicted from the outside by force.. the person loses their job or gets fired and can't find another job in the same industry at the same level and gets some training and starts over again in a different industry.


p.s.it normal for feel burn out and sense of non-achievement if you have been doing the same job for a long time. as i said, that feeling is inside you -- it is not indicative of what the organization thinks of you. you need to find your own ways to address that feeling inside you. thats why lots of companies have all sorts of hapiness and well being programs put on my HR and branches of HR. take advatage of them and see if they have any affect.
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Old 20th December 2017, 7:55 PM   #6
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Hey! Thanks for sharing your heart here! Putting family first is always the right thing to do, especially when you have not done so in the past! You deserve it and your family too! I see that you have through a lot this year! Have you had the chance to talk to someone about this? A close friend or a counselor? Someone that can help you get some perspective and untangle your thoughts? I think it would be good for you to be able to talk to someone that can help you plan your next steps around work, family and the rest of your life. It is always easier to deal with life when you can trust others to help you my friend! Let me know if you need help finding someone to talk.
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Old 7th January 2018, 1:02 PM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Crazylove2002 View Post
Hello all,


Not positive as to why I type this tonight, having a hard time thinking straight. I partly just want to vent but also to warn others of the situation I am facing. Hopefully I can gain some clarity and direction from some of you.


I am completely burnt out. I have been for several years and have recently just realized it. Its strange looking back how my life was being affected by my job without realizing it. I had achieved success in the eyes of my family and employer and I felt really good about my business accomplishments. All I did was work and that is what I regret the most. I was always trying to please someone else and for a long time I kept it up. I worked 60-70 hours a week at my real job while starting a real-estate investment business on the side. I worked rehabbing houses just about every weekend for the last few years. I never turned anything down, always had the "I can find a way to make it work attitude".


I have been having several issues in my personal life over the years, feeling unsatisfied or unhappy. I'm fairly sure it was my job that was making me miserable. I feel as if I was taken advantage of by my employer but I know that wasn't the case, I made my own decisions. I remember some of the choices I made over the years and they bother me so much. I chose to close a deal while standing outside my wife's hospital room as she was in labor. I chose not to take a true vacation in the past 6 years as I was to busy and would likely return to a huge disaster caused by me being absent. I chose to sit in a hotel with my 6 kids working on paperwork the day after we had to leave our home that caught on fire while I should have been there emotionally for them.


I ran into huge issues after our house caught fire. Insurance was a major pain in the ass, I had two new crappy houses I had just bought and I still needed to perform at my job. I absolutely fell apart. Work performance dropped significantly and I felt depression beyond anything I have ever been through.


Its been a year and three days since the fire. I am starting to get my performance back up at work and finally feeling good about things...... Last week I was informed that my pay is being adjusted, something like a %40 pay decrease. Nice timing, just before Christmas. I still need to fight them on this but its so hard when I feel so beat down. I cant blame them, I suck in their eyes currently and they can tell I'm not into it.


I have always put work and business first, ahead of my wife and children. I used to fit well in the company with my "work ethic". I am now trying to change things and am suffering the consequences. I work hard but I make sure to go home on time and spend time with my family.


I'm looking at a career change that will be in line with something I have always wanted to do but was too scared to take the leap. Its a huge risk but I'm kind of at my breaking point. I'm trying to stay positive and seeing this as a "blessing in disguise" type of situation.


Has anyone had anything remotely similar that prompted them to make a healthy change in their life?
Yes, this was me five months ago! I was CEO at my mid-sized non-profit and I had built it from nearly nothing. We were amazingly successful, but I was exhausted. I knew it was time to go when each little problem I encountered felt more like a disaster than merely a puzzle to solve. I used to get motivated by problems because I could make things better. At the time that I decided to make the switch, I would get frustrated that another problem had cropped up.

So, I got the offer to switch careers and become a consultant, working part-time and from home. Like you, I had always put career first. I was particularly proud that I had self-sacrificed my way through life. That was, until I got married, lost my dad and ended up with a very physically fragile mom. My nieces and nephews were growing up without knowing me and I realized that I wasn't just sacrificing "me" anymore, I was sacrificing the very people I loved the most. It took my best friend from high school and a bottle of wine for me to actually pursue the offer. When it came, I felt so much guilt accepting it. To let you know how poorly I was thinking when I got this offer, it was more money, less stress, less hours and all from home and yet I wavered. Thankfully, sanity kicked in.

Today? It's better than I imagined it would be. I am SO incredibly thankful I made the change. Sometimes, we just don't realize that we need the change and/or our sense of obligation is so great that we don't feel like we should do something for ourselves. It feels selfish or hurtful to others.

In the end, no one is going to talk about how hard I worked at my funeral. They really won't care. Hopefully, they will now talk about how I was a good daughter, a great wife and partner, an awesome friend, sister and aunt. They'll talk about my insatiable love of remodeling and home decorating; how I spoiled my pets like crazy; how I changed my lifestyle and got back in touch with me after being a workaholic for 25 years. Or, at least that's what I think they'll do. Regardless, I did this for me. I did it for my mom, my husband and those I love. AND IT WAS THE BEST DECISION OF MY LIFE!

You get only one go-around in this world. Look up the poem, "If," by Rudyard Kipling. In it, he states, "If you can fill the unforgiving minute with 60 seconds worth of distance run." I have come to reinterpret that line. I'm filling the unforgiving minute with 60 seconds worth of life lived. Best of luck! - GG
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