LoveShack.org Community Forums

Reload this Page LoveShack.org Community Forums > Platonic > Business and Professional Relationships

Run-in with the office bully


Business and Professional Relationships Networking and maintaining a positive environment in the work place is important! Surviving the 9-to-5 within.

Like Tree2Likes
  • 1 Post By Dear Lady Disdain
  • 1 Post By CptInsano
 
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 15th August 2017, 1:12 PM   #1
Established Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Posts: 173
Run-in with the office bully

Dear all, this is playing on my mind a bit, any thoughts appreciated - funnily enough though I feel more triumphant than upset about this, can't bear office bullies especially when people pussyfoot around them and pander to them

A bit of background: this lady ( mid fifties ) worked with a young girl in the team - she is permanent, the young girl was contracting
She created a lot of drama, talking down to this girl, slagging her off to other members of staff, a hate campaign really....I was very pleased when management cottoned on I believe and gave this young girl a permanent contract - older bully wanted her sacked and spread rumours about her being a liar as well

They have now offered this older woman another role, a promotion of sorts, I believe to get her out of the department and she is now training me to take over the role - my current manager took over from her manager and he asked me to take over along with him as he wanted to work with me

She seems to be obstructing me deliberately at every turn - not training me for the full five days, saying she was too busy with her own work
Making me inherit cases she had delayed on so I have to rush to get them set up and I'm only new
Saying to me to let down the department we work with - " if you can't help you can't help...you've done what you've got to do "
Saying I shouldn't work on things when I know I should or I will look sloppy and unhelpful

She is on the same level as me but acts like the boss - especially with this younger girl too who has no confidence, she does it even more with her and they are on the same level too

I've been doing the work really well regardless of what she wants

Anyway, today, she told me about a procedure that I believed sounded a bit fishy to me - I questioned it and began to argue with her saying that we didn't do it that way in our old team

I looked at her old manager ( who resigned due to stress of working with her ) and we asked for his advice and he confirmed what she said so on that occasion I was wrong

When she was gone the manager was very nice to me ( and also said you don't want to get on the wrong side of *** ) and I deduced that like everybody else he didn't want to risk upsetting her - of course she made out to other people " she was rowing with me all afternoon " and I said, it was only five minutes!

I feel like she is sabotaging me so I won't outshine her when I take over her job

Funnily enough a lot of people seemed delighted when they heard news we had rowed - I think I got a bit of respect out of it lol

How would you play this? Keep your head down now?

Bullies just sicken me - especially when they bully young, pretty girls - like this young girl I work with, but I think I may need to tread carefully? Or carry on defending myself and standing up for myself?

She hasn't trained the younger girl well either so tomorrow we will have a meeting with the manager together to assist us
Another reason I'm angry is that she makes out she is so fantastic and good at her job and indispensable - however at a board room meeting I learnt that they are appalled at her work and she is not doing the job so well after all, grrr I will have to try and chill out though

Any advice I would be deeply thankful for, thank you! XXX

Last edited by Dear Lady Disdain; 15th August 2017 at 1:20 PM..
Dear Lady Disdain is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 15th August 2017, 1:27 PM   #2
Established Member
 
CptInsano's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2017
Location: South of Lake Erie
Posts: 1,153
You first work for the success of the department and the company. Secondarily you work for your manager. If your co-worker is indeed in the wrong, you can do it all day if you like, as long as it is for the best of the company and you have your manager's backing.

I would first determine where exactly your manager stands on all of this. Does he just want to keep the peace, or would he be on your side of things got heated between you and that co-worker?
__________________
"You can't compare cars to women. Cars need to be loved." -Walter Röhrl
CptInsano is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 15th August 2017, 1:35 PM   #3
Established Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Posts: 173
Hello CptInsano, thank you for replying - that in fact, is my ethos at work entirely - and that's why I'm annoyed by her general obstructiveness and rudeness

Thanks - your reply is really helpful...I think this problem has arisen because our manager was working remotely and was off site, he is also in general a " hands off " manager who doesn't get involved and that is why myself and my younger colleague are going to ask to have weekly meetings with him tomorrow

Yeah, the problem happened because there's no manager really in situ, my own manager has only just begun and doesn't know everything - so this woman seems to see fit to reign supreme

Thank you - I will definitely speak to my manager tomorrow

PS. You sound like a great manager yourself - I have seen your post - we need more managers like you! Good luck :-)
Dear Lady Disdain is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 15th August 2017, 2:56 PM   #4
Established Member
 
CptInsano's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2017
Location: South of Lake Erie
Posts: 1,153
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dear Lady Disdain View Post
Hello CptInsano, thank you for replying - that in fact, is my ethos at work entirely - and that's why I'm annoyed by her general obstructiveness and rudeness

Thanks - your reply is really helpful...I think this problem has arisen because our manager was working remotely and was off site, he is also in general a " hands off " manager who doesn't get involved and that is why myself and my younger colleague are going to ask to have weekly meetings with him tomorrow

Yeah, the problem happened because there's no manager really in situ, my own manager has only just begun and doesn't know everything - so this woman seems to see fit to reign supreme
Yes, that is an issue. I hope that the decision of who is that senior staff member will not be decided on seniority alone. A hands-off off-site manager is probably not much of a manager.

Quote:
Thank you - I will definitely speak to my manager tomorrow

PS. You sound like a great manager yourself - I have seen your post - we need more managers like you! Good luck :-)
Well, thank you. Good luck to you, too.
CptInsano is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 16th August 2017, 3:56 PM   #5
Established Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Posts: 173
Thank you! I'm happy to report that speaking to my manager did the trick, she saw us talking and then stopped being as obstructive, magically sorted everything out when I involved him
He listened and then began to be a bit more proactive...glad about it as in the past I wouldn't have dared to do that

Thanks for your encouragement and for replying to me :-) DLD
Dear Lady Disdain is offline   Reply With Quote
 

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

 

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Supervisor is a bully ! Sugarkane Business and Professional Relationships 21 28th March 2011 9:23 PM
I'm I really a bully myself? samsungxoxo General Relationship Discussion 0 2nd November 2010 10:40 AM
My boss, the bully Vintage106 Business and Professional Relationships 15 14th August 2007 10:57 AM

 

All times are GMT -4. The time now is 11:31 PM.

Please note: The suggestions and advice offered on this web site are opinions only and are not to be used in the place of professional psychological counseling or medical advice. If you or someone close to you is currently in crisis or in an emergency situation, contact your local law enforcement agency or emergency number.


Copyright © 1997-2013 LoveShack.org. All Rights Reserved.