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Damaging Gossip..


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Old 27th July 2017, 5:07 PM   #16
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Originally Posted by SevenCity View Post
The thing about rumors is once they are out, they tend to spread.

In this situation I would have gone with the nuke option which would have showed you were open to exposing your (lack) of involvement and setting a precedent for the next gabby Gus.

Hopefully this will be the end of it, but I would have preferred to CYA to the max and crush those two women and anyone else who would thin to start some BS.

This reminds me of a girl when I was a teen who played a game of "I'll show you mine if you show me yours" when she had a boyfriend. When she was found out she said I tried to rape her!

Once I caught wind of this I confronted the parties and told them I was going to the police and she could report my "attempted rape" to them. Needless to say she came clean after that.
Wow.. That's insane.. I had a ONS with a gal in college who woke up with some regrets and started to hint around the same crap. I had to remind her that I was hammered drunk and she was stone cold sober when we hooked up. And, there were approximately fifty people in the house when we messed around.

I decided to go to the administration first because I wanted to see how they would respond. I was giving them some rope to see if they would hang themselves with it. They've both admitted to running their mouth to the administration, it's on record, and I have proof now. I can nail them to the wall if it starts up again. Hopefully they realize that I have a specialized skill and am hard to replace while anyone with a high school education can do their job. So... At the end of the day, they go away and I keep my job.
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Old 28th July 2017, 8:52 PM   #17
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I'd definitely stop coaching her, not sure how her having a crush on you is your issue?
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Old 29th July 2017, 11:03 PM   #18
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Originally Posted by youdon'tsay17 View Post
I'd definitely stop coaching her, not sure how her having a crush on you is your issue?
I will continue to coach her but I will just keep my distance from her and won't be with her alone. I received a text message from her father yesterday asking if I would be willing to work with her one-one this week and I told him I was busy.

As a teacher, I have to be very careful about this kinds of situations. It doesn't take much for this kind of gossip to become "fact" in people's eyes and it turns into a bad situation in a hurry.

From what I have gathered, this whole circus went from her telling another student she had a crush on me to me having a "thing" for her within the space of a few weeks. If I hadn't put an end to it, the "rumor" could have turned into my having an inappropriate relationship with this student. There's absolutely no basis behind any of it but these people are stupid and tend to believe whatever comes their way. I can be terminated without cause within the first three years of teaching at a school so it only takes a few school board members buying into this and I'm out looking for another job.

There is a superintendent in this area who everyone swears had a physical relationship with a girl when he was a teacher at the school I work at. Coincidentally, twenty years ago, he also taught at I school I worked for several years ago. I heard the same exact rumors about him from that school. The guy has been a teacher and administrator in the state for nearly thirty five years and he wouldn't have his license (or would be in jail..) if there were any facts to back up this gossip. But, no one bothers to think about that... They buy into whatever small town gossip is going around and take it as gospel.
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Old 13th August 2017, 8:18 PM   #19
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SevenCity View Post
The thing about rumors is once they are out, they tend to spread.

In this situation I would have gone with the nuke option which would have showed you were open to exposing your (lack) of involvement and setting a precedent for the next gabby Gus.

Hopefully this will be the end of it, but I would have preferred to CYA to the max and crush those two women and anyone else who would thin to start some BS.

This reminds me of a girl when I was a teen who played a game of "I'll show you mine if you show me yours" when she had a boyfriend. When she was found out she said I tried to rape her!

Once I caught wind of this I confronted the parties and told them I was going to the police and she could report my "attempted rape" to them. Needless to say she came clean after that.
Trust me, I was really tempted to file the grievance as soon as I heard it. However, I realized that I needed them to admit to it before I took it to that level. I figured they would try to defend themselves in front of the administration but they'd just dummy up as soon as a union lawyer was sitting in front of them. Now, I have some ammo if I need to file a grievance.

But, at this point, they were called to task by the superintendent and I have an email stating that my intent to file a grievance if it isn't handled. In that email, I went into great detail about not having any inappropriate contact with the girl. I also stated that I would be more than happy to fork over my cell phone and lap top to confirm everything.

It has simmered down at this point. But, I am keeping my eyes and ears open and won't hesitate to make a phone call to the local union rep should anything pop up again.
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Old 14th August 2017, 11:38 AM   #20
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Originally Posted by Art_Critic View Post
This part is the key to your answer..

So there is an issue that you must address and your superintendent even let you in on what it is but you are more interested in going after the gossipers instead of the real problem.

If you go after the gossipers there will be more of them that will start more gossip.

You state that you "No way in hell am I going to seek this girl out and further this "Don't Stand So Close To Me" bull****".

Why take this attitude if your superintendent has told you what he was told ?
I would pull her aside and gently let her know what has been brought to your attention and address it like a professional.
If you do this also think about doing in it in front of a third party or have a third party present in the room as sometimes these things can go sideways.
If you have never been an educator, it might be hard to understand, but I am with the OP on this.
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