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Inappropriate crush


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Old 3rd July 2016, 8:03 PM   #1
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Inappropriate crush

I have realised that I am massively attracted to one of my subordinates. FML. FML. FML.

He's younger, but not inappropriately so. The inappropriateness is due to him directly reporting to me. In the unlikely event of him being both single and interested, there would be no way to manage a relationship without at least one of us changing companies. That wouldn't be good for either of us.

Nothing can happen. Period. So how can I get over this and quickly? Any tips?
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Old 3rd July 2016, 10:39 PM   #2
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Don't do anything about it (meaning, don't act on your feelings). Just let those feelings run right through you, like sh*t through a goose. Feelings are fickle and will change, as long as you don't do anything about them. (Doing something about them just tills the ground for them to grow - and you don't want that!) Just do nothing. Let it pass. Step outside of yourself a little bit and look back at yourself, like a disengaged observer, and giggle a little about the ridiculousness of the situation.
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Old 28th August 2016, 9:31 PM   #3
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I think it's important to just keep yourself occupied. Never talk about him and let the feelings naturally fade. Maybe go out and try to find another guy to keep you busy.
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Old 29th August 2016, 3:57 AM   #4
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Quote:
Originally Posted by stef84 View Post
I have realised that I am massively attracted to one of my subordinates. FML. FML. FML.

He's younger, but not inappropriately so. The inappropriateness is due to him directly reporting to me. In the unlikely event of him being both single and interested, there would be no way to manage a relationship without at least one of us changing companies. That wouldn't be good for either of us.

Nothing can happen. Period. So how can I get over this and quickly? Any tips?
What about transferring to another department. Is it possible?
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Old 29th August 2016, 5:47 AM   #5
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I wish I could offer some advice. I've been in a similar situation for a while and I have no idea how to fix it!
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Old 29th August 2016, 9:02 AM   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by stef84 View Post
I have realised that I am massively attracted to one of my subordinates. FML. FML. FML.

He's younger, but not inappropriately so. The inappropriateness is due to him directly reporting to me. In the unlikely event of him being both single and interested, there would be no way to manage a relationship without at least one of us changing companies. That wouldn't be good for either of us.

Nothing can happen. Period. So how can I get over this and quickly? Any tips?
Have you checked your employer's policies on this situation? Sexual harassment usually is a firing offense only if any advance you might make toward him is "unwanted." If he's willing and your employer doesn't care, you may not have a problem.
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Old 29th August 2016, 10:56 AM   #7
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You just have to put on your big girl pants and not act weird with him. Just be professional and that's all. It's your responsibility, even if he gets flirtatious, to just be professional because you are his boss.
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Old 29th August 2016, 9:05 PM   #8
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Originally Posted by sharkbite0 View Post
I think it's important to just keep yourself occupied. Never talk about him and let the feelings naturally fade. Maybe go out and try to find another guy to keep you busy.
Probably the best advice possible. Keep yourself distracted by other things outside your work life to stop you from thinking about him so much.
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