Supervisor's......Unfair/Mean to Colleague...

[Almond_Joy]

Hi everyone,

 

I just started a new job a few months ago. Absolutely love it, great rapport with my boss. I'm in a department of 4 and I've noticed from day one that my supervisor speaks very condescendingly to one of the other people in our department (my colleague, his subordinate).

 

My boss has mentioned that he wants all of us to thnk more strategically about our work instead of just doing what we're told. When the other two don't meet that expectation, he gets frustrated, but with one of the two in particular his frustration is unfairly severe. He's berated this colleague in front of executive staff, usurped work from him (implying he's incompetent at handling it himself), negates his contributions in discussions....this happens daily.

 

The boss and I share one large room so I'm usually there in the room when all this is happening. It makes me cringe. The colleague I can tell is very frustrated by this, but does not speak up for himself. Furthermore, because my job is to do training and documentation of all our projects, I need this colleague to share information with me. But because the boss and I get along really well, and the boss told him to send me stuff, he doesn't want to communicate with me. He won't send me anything or talk to me unless explicitly asked. I don't want to start harassing him for info with the way things are now because he doesn't need another person on his case.

 

So my main question is, should I speak to my boss about this? I'm the only woman in this department and have never worked for a male boss before. I don't want to overstep my bounds, but I honestly don't think my boss is aware of how severe he sounds. It's really unprofessional for him to talk to another capable adult like that on a regular basis. I also don't want this other colleague thinking I pity him or something and resent me for speaking on his behalf.

 

Any suggestions are appreciated, thanks.

[GemmaUK]

First off, you are new and you don't know the history.

 

Also, if you take away that you and your boss get along (just forget that part of the equation for a moment) this colleague is not giving you the info you need without being expressly asked for it which to me sounds like the behaviour the boss isn't happy with.

 

For now you could ask 'what the deal is with...insert name' to your boss and once you hear his side then you can see whether what he says is true or not over time.

You have to deal with this person yourself so you will soon find out.

 

As yet I would not call the boss out on his treatment. Find the real deal out for yourself first.

[SycamoreCircle]

I do not think you should broach the subject of the relationship between your boss and your colleague with your boss. Do not get in the middle of that.

 

Right now your most direct problem is working and communicating with the colleague. I would speak to him kindly and privately about working together. Take it from a position of humility. Being new, I'm doing my best to do A and B and it's always difficult when C doesn't happen. Is there any way that we could do C together? Does that cause you problems? Is there a way we could work around those problems?

 

Once you've established yourself as a valuable asset, with some leverage, I would work towards not being present during those cringe-worthy moments. If you're then pressed about it, speak openly and with discretion about it to the boss.

[CC12]

You should not try to correct your boss's behavior or call him out on his lack of professionalism. You've seen how he can treat people - do you want to end up on his **** list and be on the receiving end of that?

 

You can try to show your coworker some sympathy when appropriate to get him on your good side so he'll work well with you. I don't think it would be right to pull him aside and say, "Wow, the boss is really mean to you" or anything like that. You could try sticking up for him a little bit, though. Try to do this in a way that doesn't defy your boss. Like in a meeting you could say some nice things about him. "Brian, I thought you had a great idea regarding ___ maybe we should implement that." or "Brian's really good at ___ we should involve him in this." Stuff like that.

 

Since he's treated so poorly at work, it might make his week to be praised for once. Make him feel useful and important and I bet he'll love you and try to work well with you. If not, you can just go back to invisibly cringing while your boss treats him like an idiot. It's just a job.

[Almond_Joy]

Thanks for the feedback everyone.

[Fugu]

I hate to say it, but that's your colleague's problem. One day, it could be your problem, too, but for the time being, you're in good graces with your boss, so do what you can to keep it that way.