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So I've been at this company for just over two years now.

 

To begin with I really liked it, however after a while I started getting a little bored, I began to realise how bitchy people were and the atmosphere wasn't very friendly any more, I was quite unhappy but it was bearable. I stuck here for about a year and 8 months.

 

I started looking for jobs elsewhere but I couldn't find anything suitable, an internal transfer came up and I went for it. I've been there about 4 months now.

 

It's much the same as my old dept, the work is a little different but still very mundane and I have no motivation. The people have turned out the same, nice to each others faces but secretly out to get one another, the atmosphere just feels awful. I dread going in from when I go to sleep at night until I get there in the morning, I always feels so anxious and nervous and even just sitting at my desk I feel anxious and as if I can't breathe. Because I always feels so miserable it means I just cannot be bothered to make an effort with anyone either. I'll chat with people, but I'm not really interested.

 

The job isn't a bad job, and I don't think everyone there feels the same as me, I do feel grateful to even have a job. My other half and my family tell me to stick it out. I don't know whether I've made it seem worse than it actually is to myself.

 

Can anyone who has been through a similar experience give me any advice on how they dealt with this?

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purplesoccer34
So I've been at this company for just over two years now.

 

To begin with I really liked it, however after a while I started getting a little bored, I began to realise how bitchy people were and the atmosphere wasn't very friendly any more, I was quite unhappy but it was bearable. I stuck here for about a year and 8 months.

 

I started looking for jobs elsewhere but I couldn't find anything suitable, an internal transfer came up and I went for it. I've been there about 4 months now.

 

It's much the same as my old dept, the work is a little different but still very mundane and I have no motivation. The people have turned out the same, nice to each others faces but secretly out to get one another, the atmosphere just feels awful. I dread going in from when I go to sleep at night until I get there in the morning, I always feels so anxious and nervous and even just sitting at my desk I feel anxious and as if I can't breathe. Because I always feels so miserable it means I just cannot be bothered to make an effort with anyone either. I'll chat with people, but I'm not really interested.

 

The job isn't a bad job, and I don't think everyone there feels the same as me, I do feel grateful to even have a job. My other half and my family tell me to stick it out. I don't know whether I've made it seem worse than it actually is to myself.

 

Can anyone who has been through a similar experience give me any advice on how they dealt with this?

 

Your last line about making it seem worse than it actually is really struck me, because I have been there. I was working at a particular company, and every single day, I'd dread going to work. There was nothing wrong with the company or the work I was doing, except that my boss didn't interact with me unless she absolutely had to, and the work was repetitive. I always felt like my boss didn't like me, and I was tired of the mundane work I was doing. Not to mention, there was a LOT of gossip. My coworkers were very nice to everyone's face, but who knew what they were saying behind your back.

 

But then one day, I decided to change my perspective. I decided to look at my boss and my coworkers in a different light. I decided to interact with them more. I decided to actually go out of my way to make conversation with them. I would show genuine interest in my coworkers and the work itself, and things started to change for me. I wouldn't say that I ever grew to love the job or the environment, but it became much more tolerable. I went from hating my job to somewhat liking it. Eventually I left the job however, and I'm far, far happier at my new job. This new job is just a much better fit for me, and it's one I actually look forward to everyday. My personality matches those of my coworkers and the work in general, so I actually feel like I fit in.

 

Try to see things in a different light--a positive light--and things might change. If you still find yourself hating work, then the best solution really might be to find a different job. This particular environment may just not be for you, and that's okay.

Edited by purplesoccer34
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Sounds like plight of a 21st century indentured slave. It's natural to get a little fight-clubbish, it goes against most's natural being to spending that much time sitting in cubicle/office staring at a computer in unnatural light. It's not healthy for your mind, body, or soul. I suggest numbs these thoughts with booze, football, and the latest material possession or find out and follow what you're meant to do in this life. Easier said than done -God speed.

 

 

I'm not Morpheuous, just someone who has a bunch of other **** I'd rather live for.

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The thing you said about people nice to everyone's faces but secretly out to get them is standard operating practice. Everyone is looking out for themselves, and they should be because no one else is going to be. And they are all under the obligation to be polite to coworkers. This is nothing unusual. So if that is all that's bothering you, changing jobs probably won't change anything. But if it's everything else and just a bad fit, start looking for another job.

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I have only worked for two employers in ten years. My first job I did for six years and I learnt something really valuable about employment during the last year of it.

 

I was, like you anxious, depressed and lacking in purpose. Didn't really feel I was making a contribution to society or producing anything. Its really important to know when to leave. I stayed too long and to be honest should have left 2 years prior to when I did. First four years I got three promotions and enjoyed the challenge and had great colleagues. The last two I stagnated and became unproductive - the challenge had gone. I stopped taking pride in my work and lost the passion.

 

The problem of course is the more desperate you are to leave often the harder it is to find another job - when your anxious, depressed and unmotivated you can give off that vibe in interviews. Whereas when your motivated you give off confidence. My friend called it "being institutionalised" - when you have worked at somewhere for so long you are no longer able to work anywhere else - while you want to, your brain on a certain level has accepted your fate that this is it - Im sure you have "lifers" as colleagues - people who once upon a time had a qualification in something completely unrelated but gave up their dream because it was easier to do so than challenge themselves. They hate it, but they make no effort to leave.

 

What helped me immensely back then was volunteering. It gave me work experience in careers I was interested in but had no experience in. It allowed me to meet employees in a completely different sector, built up my skills but also helped marginalised people. It changed my life to the extent I now work for an ngo full time - the work experience helped secure the job. Not only that though I remember toward the end, my managers in my old job heard what I was doing and wanted me to encourage other employees to do. We held occasional charity events and three other colleagues signed up to help at a refuge. It helped me stay motivated in my full time job when I was allowed to take the occasional afternoon off to volunteer.

 

Volunteering gave my life a bit more purpose - no matter how much I hated my full time job it expanded my horizons and helped me stay motivated in other areas. It also helped me secure another job as employers respected it.

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acrosstheuniverse

There are several ideas I can think of:

 

1) Find a new job. If the environment is toxic, you can only do so much to learn to deal with it. Not every job is like that, believe it or not. If you hate it so much you are finding yourself actively dreading it from bedtime to getting there, you absolutely have to look at least long term towards how to get into something more fulfilling if at all practical. Life is so short. Spending a third of your weekdays miserable and another third dreading actually attending work is awful. I know when I had jobs I hated, even if I wasn't full time it seemed to colour my entire life, every day of the week I was either at work or preparing to go back to work. In the end I retrained, got a job I love and now I'm happy and relaxed and fulfilled at work, and at home I'm calm and don't even think about work barring the fleeting thought of what I have planned for the following day.

 

2) Get some therapy to help deal with the anxiety and manage your emotions while at work. CBT is good for this. There are some techniques, such as relaxation techniques you can do at your desk to calm down panic and anxiety, and other techniques you can use to get the frustration out when work is getting to you every day but you don't have the means to actually challenge it. What you said about being so anxious you can hardly breathe it sounds like a mild panic attack, you can practise deep diaphragmatic breathing in certain patterns to quell rising anxiety and the less fearful you are of these symptoms the less likely they are to come on, which should ease how difficult you find the workday to a certain extent.

 

3) Like someone else said, do some voluntary work. If you get your kicks doing something you love, it makes your paid job you have no passion for much easier to bear. I used to work in a bank, hated it and found it phenomenally mundane, but I volunteered my ass off in my free time and found that helped me to keep going through the boring paid job. Plus it gave me enough experience to switch careers into something I really wanted to do in the end. I went from doing sales in a bank for minimum wage with zero future career prospects on the horizon to becoming a registered, trained professional doing a job I adore, helping others, for a much higher wage and fantastic prospects. My quality of life is so much better now and that's without even taking into account everything I get from voluntary work, which gives back SO much more than it takes from you. Really builds your confidence too and makes work fun.

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