Being made irrelevant at work

[NotKelly]

I have a complicated situation here, and I hope to solicit some ideas and thoughts.

 

My company is undergoing a very messy restructuring. No layoffs (yet) but some existing departments are being jammed together willy-nilly with no marching orders from above, with a lot of people pursuing their own agendas, etc because of the general chaos. My former supervisor left in a huff to join a startup, leaving me adrift. I've been given very little to do over the past nine months while we've been waiting for this department that's absorbing us, to get adequate office space so we can be together, etc.

 

I've been at this company quite a long time, with many different roles, and I "useta be" insanely busy in past years. Being very clear eyed about the situation, I realize that almost all of the past projects I worked so hard on have been made obsolete - time passes. Nobody seems to remember what I've done or what my skill set is, and I can't seem to engage any of the new people so they can get to know me. I go to the meetings every week and am never given anything to do. I've even been left behind while they've moved other people into the new space (like I said, not enough space for us all).

 

Writing's on the wall, huh?

 

The trouble is, my skill set is very specialized, and while there are plenty of promising jobs in other cities that I would probably interview well for, my mother is extremely dependent on me financially and emotionally and I feel like I am not free to leave this city. Her health is poor, her finances bad... she relies on my monthly rent check. And I couldn't afford to pay her a $700 a month stipend while also paying for an apartment in a different city. (and it's too far to daily commute)

 

Another complication is that I have been told what's going to happen in my current company, a massive uprooting of websites and such, and I know very well this is going to involve a ton of roll-up-your-sleeves, highly confusing and chaotic work - the very stuff I used to do at that company so well for so many people (and why nobody sees me as a "professional" because I'm sort of the grease monkey who mops up after the professional initiatives). It's work that I would gladly help out with, but - it's a BIG SECRET and I cannot even approach anyone to offer my expertise, because it hasn't been officially announced yet. It's the sort of work that all the professionals are tearing their hair out over because they're designers and architects and developers and they don't want to do the dirty work of content entry that this massive project is going to entail. They're talking about all the people they're going to have to hire, that they don't have the money to hire, and I'm sitting there going, "What about me? I can do this!" yet I can't say anything because it's all a big secret.

 

Everybody seems to think I work for somebody else. Nobody gives me anything to do.

 

I go to work every day feeling grimmer and grimmer about my situation - can't get ahead here, can't move there - and I know something has to give. I wish they would just lay me off and get it over with. Going to those weekly meetings where they ignore me, and don't seem to want to listen to anything I say, is extremely painful. I am sharpening my resume, but I look longingly at these jobs in the next city and know that no one in my family will support me moving off to a strange city (never mind, of course, I'd have to get the job first). I don't have any nearby friends to help or bounce ideas off of.

 

The only bright spot is that I have been saving up my money for a long time, anticipating the day when layoffs at my company would happen. I don't want to blow through this money doing something unwise.

 

Does anyone have any thoughtful advice for me? What should I do? I am growing very despondent.

[whichwayisup]

Do you have other siblings or family members who help lighten the load when it comes to your mom? If so, especially if you have bro's/sis's, then they should be helping out as well.

 

As for your job, well is it possible to get trained in other areas of your work place? This way you have a rounded skill set and not specific to one roll?

 

Start looking for another job in your city, just in case layoffs do happen, putting your resume together and putting feelers out there might be helpful.

[GemmaUK]

So as it's all a big secret you cannot say anything.

 

 

I've been in that position before myself.

 

 

I just spoke up in a group meeting saying words to the effect of : with all the recent changes if there is any possibility of getting new systems in (or whatever) then I project managed 'X' at company 'Z' so it's the kind of extra work that I love to get involved in.

Should anything upcoming be happening I would be more than willing to help.

 

 

If people don't know what you can do you have to just tell them sometimes.

 

 

There was another time in my current job where I had an appraisal with my finance director. He ended up choosing to interview me instead as he didn't employ me and had no idea what I had done in previous companies.

He was astounded to hear my level and from that day on my job changed entirely.

Maybe you could ask one of the higher ups for an interview rather than an appraisal.

[CC12]

I've been given very little to do over the past nine months while we've been waiting for this department that's absorbing us, to get adequate office space so we can be together, etc.

 

Nobody seems to remember what I've done or what my skill set is, and I can't seem to engage any of the new people so they can get to know me. I go to the meetings every week and am never given anything to do. I've even been left behind while they've moved other people into the new space (like I said, not enough space for us all).

 

I'm not saying this to be mean, but I would fire you if layoffs were necessary. If you're just waiting around to be assigned tasks, and you're not doing anything of value at work, you kind of are redundant. If/when layoffs start, as you describe your job duties now, of course you're going to be one of the first ones to go. You would make the same decision if you were the boss.

 

So I think if you want to keep this job (you should) you need to start contributing in a significant way and showing people that you are a necessary part of their business, even if all you do is mop up messes. Don't wait for people to tell you what to do, make yourself useful at all times. Even regarding The Big Secret, you should be able to somehow position yourself to be of importance when the **** hits the fan, right?

[preraph]

Can't you go talk to your new supervisor? I have to think if they just wanted to lay you off, it already would have happened. Maybe they don't know you have nothing to do. Even a simple note "Hey, since the change I have a lot of idle time on my hands. What should I be doing?"

[coryreply]

Do you have an HR dept you can voice your concerns to?

[NotKelly]

I'm not saying this to be mean, but I would fire you if layoffs were necessary.

 

I know you're not being mean, and of course I've thought of this.

 

But, it's hard to add value when you don't have permission to do so. For instance, my company has design and brand standards for all its websites - but no one has bothered to extend these standards to their e-mail communications. Different departments send out different stuff, with no consistency, there's no company wide policy for design or even best e-mail practices or complying with anti-spam laws. This bugs me, and I've written (on my own initiative) a comprehensive report about the state of things at the company in this area. A lot of fact checking, talking to people, explaining of the many facets of the situation, I'm pretty proud of this report but... no one has asked for it. I sent it to one of my supervisor-type-entities (I don't really have a boss any more) and it went down a black hole. It IS in our general area of responsibility of our department, but no one in charge cares. (They probably WILL care in the future when they get caught in an embarrassing situation due to the lack of policy, but what can I do?)

 

I did this because I care about the company, having worked there for X years. I did this because no one is giving me work to do.

 

Another weird part of the situation is this: Every time I volunteer to do something at the new group I was assigned to, it's like they "have a process" and I don't get to be part of it. Then they sit there and wonder which of their interns they're going to get to do the work - stuff I do all the time. Then they talk about having to hire new people to do stuff that I could easily help take off their hands. They're facing this massive chaotic project coming up and they are looking right through me like I'm not even there.

 

So... I'm not being allowed to succeed here. I'm not being allowed to add value.

 

I should keep asking what I should be doing, but wouldn't you assume your boss would give you work???

 

As for my family - well, none of them have any money, they live hand to mouth and I have a sister and she can't help because she's in debt. Everyone in my family seems to think I am going to retire from this company in, like, 9 or 10 years... but I know I am NOT going to make it that long - even if things got a little better for me there. I have told my father my concerns for years that I don't have a future there, but his immediate response is "Don't be stupid, don't leave such a good job."

 

But it's NOT a good job. Not any more. And I feel I have zero support from my family... zero... for changing my life. I feel like I'm the only person facing reality here.

 

The most proactive thing I have done was to really save my money over the past decade, anticipating that something like this might happen. I could live for years without working - but of course, I would never do something so irresponsible.

 

I have been working hard on "meltdown containment" - I get so depressed and angry sometimes that I feel like walking out... but I'm the age where people don't want to hire you no matter what you can do, and it's better to look for a job while you're still employed. The other day I was so upset, I took my laptop and actually left the company grounds without telling anyone, for the afternoon, I just drove off and did what little work came in via the laptop. NOBODY asked me where I'd been; I don't think they even noticed I was gone.

Edited April 2, 2015 by NotKelly

[CC12]

I know you're not being mean

 

Thank you for understanding.

 

I'm just going to throw out some ideas:

 

I sent it to one of my supervisor-type-entities (I don't really have a boss any more) and it went down a black hole.

 

Can you send it to anyone else? Bring it up at a company meeting? Maybe your report needs to be revised to emphasize how this could potentially be an embarrassing situation for them if it's not fixed?

 

Then they sit there and wonder which of their interns they're going to get to do the work - stuff I do all the time. Then they talk about having to hire new people to do stuff that I could easily help take off their hands.

 

Can you speak up when this topic comes up? Something like, "I know exactly how to do that. I'm on it." Almost don't even ask permission, just say that you're going to take responsibility for it.

 

I should keep asking what I should be doing, but wouldn't you assume your boss would give you work???

 

But you said you don't really have a boss anymore. It's possible none of the other bosses feel they have any authority over you, and don't really know what you do or what you're capable of doing. Can you approach each of them individually and let them know that you have some time in your schedule to take on anything they might need help with? I would be careful about saying anything like, "I have nothing to do, please assign me something" because I don't think you should draw attention to the fact that you...have nothing to do. Even if it's just grunt work that they need help with, take them up on it. It's a way to kind of get an "in" on other projects.

 

And I feel I have zero support from my family... zero... for changing my life.

 

Why do you need their support? (This is a real question I hope you'll answer, I'm not trying to make any point at all, here.)

 

The most proactive thing I have done was to really save my money over the past decade, anticipating that something like this might happen. I could live for years without working - but of course, I would never do something so irresponsible.

 

That is really impressive and admirable. Good on you. Your situation would be so much harder if you only had this job to rely on.

 

I have been working hard on "meltdown containment" - I get so depressed and angry sometimes that I feel like walking out...

 

That sucks. If it makes you feel any better, pretty much everyone has felt this way at one point or another. I would suggest trying to never think about work when you're not at work. At this time, you're not getting any fulfillment or validation at your job, so try getting that somewhere else. A hobby, or volunteering, or something.

 

You seem like an intelligent person, so you've probably already tried/considered much of what I posted above, but I hope that helps.

[GemmaUK]

Can you speak up when this topic comes up? Something like, "I know exactly how to do that. I'm on it." Almost don't even ask permission, just say that you're going to take responsibility for it.

 

 

 

100% agree with this!

This is what I do. If I am aware of something that needs doing and I know how to do it I just pick it up and get it done.

I also tend to 'project manage' (for want of a better phrase) when I am aware that we are having issues with something and it's a problem that needs investigating but there could be two people/teams who are not actually getting together and focusing on the issue instead they are telling me the issue from their viewpoint. I make sure the people/teams get together, have all the info they need and get communication going and guide it through to resolution.

 

 

You mentioned this report you have done about email protocol?

I'm guessing you mean a signature as in 'Company X is a market leader in blah' and to have that standardised across the company as an email sig?

Really honestly (and if that is indeed what you mean) then I wouldn't want to read a report about it.

All I would want is an example of what we could add company wide as an email signature which can then be rejected or discussed and added to/tweaked at the next management meeting.

If we didn't have one where I work and someone suggested it and sent what it would look like to me then I may well implement it. But yeah.. I wouldn't want to bother reading a report about it as that seems like a waste of time to be honest.

(no offence intended here but I would want to 'see' just an example)

[NotKelly]

I'm guessing you mean a signature as in 'Company X is a market leader in blah' and to have that standardised across the company as an email sig?

No, actually it's potentially more serious than that... people are sending internal "official" mass mails all over the entire company and no one from PR or HR is vetting their message, departments are getting unapproved access to company data to spam employees and customers with stuff that may or may not be kosher (or legal), etc. (Not to mention they are not staying on brand, which is a relatively minor matter.) It's a bit out of control... But, yes, it's a thorough yet boring report about that, needs to be shown to the right person. In any case, I've started thinking about it as my "capstone project" so if I do get laid off, I'll hand it to whoever lays me off LOL.

 

The more I think about this, the more I realize how badly this company has gone downhill since I started working there so long ago!

 

Can you speak up when this topic comes up?

Well, I know I should, but it's so awkward because everyone else at the table is sitting there nodding and it's hard to politely ask, "Why the hell do you want to hire 4 more people when I could start doing this for you?" My new boss also has a bunch of interns he is very proud of, and my impression is that finding things for them to do is of paramount importance. Really, it's such a bizarre situation, I'm still trying to find a way to speak up. So point taken.

 

I'm very aware that my seniority means I am not exactly cheap (pay, benefits) and - although my industry is usually insulated from economic downturns - that isn't always going to be so. Everyone knows layoffs are coming sooner or later. So I can understand the impulse to hire new college grads more cheaply, or even having interns do stuff. But it's just such a confidence killer to have everyone forget about you.

 

And the point about why I need family support is, I suppose a good one as well... but most of my friends have moved across the country (marriage, kids, other jobs, etc) so I kind of don't want my family turning against me or not cooperating.

 

Here's an example of the bizarreness of my situation (as I see it) and my bosslessness: just the day before yesterday, the senior VP of the company (I say "senior" only as part of title since she and the president of the company are both only here about a year), who I had done some little thing for in the past, asked to meet with me out of the blue to help her with a coding problem on an invitation her office is sending. The situation turned out to be extremely messed up with all sorts of outside people having their hands on this simple invitation (to be sent via e-mail). So, she actually comes to my humble little cubicle and for 45 minutes proceeds to pour out her frustrations with the way things are done at the company and to see if I could fix the coding problem. (fortunately, I could.) So now I'm responsible for sending out all their invitations for this temporary project.

 

Great, right? The problem is this: She isn't my boss. She isn't even the head of my division... she won't be making the layoff decisions when layoffs come... This sort of thing happens to me all the time - I do work, but it's never for anyone who matters. Not only is that not good for my security at the company, it's not good for my sense of purpose. I get tons of thank yous from people (of the "what would I do without you" sort), even from senior executives once in a while, but I don't really have a recognized role there any more. I don't even get to be in the same building with the people I'm supposedly with. I'm an invisible person doing invisible work. And it's not "substantial" work that looks good on a resume, it's just crisis control work of all different kinds - less than in the past, of course.

 

So yeah, this company is very dysfunctional and I need to leave. And I appreciate your input, because sometimes I feel like I'm the only reality-based person I know...

Edited April 7, 2015 by NotKelly

[Emilia]

It sounds to me OP that you really need to sit down with your family and explain that you all have to work out some kind of a support for your mother because you have to find work somewhere else. If you are up to this, of course. This has run its course, don't you think?

 

You can't live at home forever and have your mother rely on you completely, especially emotionally.

[NotKelly]

I'd love to be able to sit down with my family and talk honestly about all this, but my father and sister have been incommunicado for 23 years. My sister also does not speak to my aunt, and my mother and aunt's relationship is rocky at best (also, my aunt is dirt poor and lives alone with no other contacts than us). My father prefers not to involve himself in my mother's life in any way. (So yes, in case you're keeping score, the sole open line of communication in the family, aside from "me and everyone else," is between my mother and sister, who hasn't got any money either.)

 

The last time I asked my sister for help (many years ago, I approached her to see if she would help me get my mother a used car), she wrinkled her nose and avoided me for weeks. Basically, if it involves money (which this does), she doesn't want to participate. She DID take my mother on a trip to Hawaii about 15 years ago though, so she's done her part.

 

Also, did I mention my mother has lived in this house since she was 9 years old (with a few years of apartment living after she got married? I left to live at college, but then came back as a renter - I insisted on paying rent, she wanted to do it all loosey goosey). So, "selling the house" is not an option. It's never an option. It's not up for consideration. She expects to live here until she passes. I think she expects to be buried in the back yard too - well, I'm kidding, but who knows. Living in affordable senior apartment by herself? NEVER! She hates apartments. (Well, obviously I think about selling the house once in a while, but it's useless to even get near the topic in any discussion. She prefers that other people think the unthinkable. Reality was never her strong suit.)

 

Good, sensible suggestions though :-) The problem is that this situation seems to be working out fine for everyone else in my life. Obviously, they are not going to be part of the solution. I'm just trying to find a solution, I don't really care if they come along for it or not. Trying to get into that head space every day. I appreciate the feedback.

Edited April 9, 2015 by NotKelly

[Emilia]

I'd love to be able to sit down with my family and talk honestly about all this, but my father and sister have been incommunicado for 23 years. My sister also does not speak to my aunt, and my mother and aunt's relationship is rocky at best (also, my aunt is dirt poor and lives alone with no other contacts than us). My father prefers not to involve himself in my mother's life in any way. (So yes, in case you're keeping score, the sole open line of communication in the family, aside from "me and everyone else," is between my mother and sister, who hasn't got any money either.)

 

The last time I asked my sister for help (many years ago, I approached her to see if she would help me get my mother a used car), she wrinkled her nose and avoided me for weeks. Basically, if it involves money (which this does), she doesn't want to participate. She DID take my mother on a trip to Hawaii about 15 years ago though, so she's done her part.

 

Also, did I mention my mother has lived in this house since she was 9 years old (with a few years of apartment living after she got married? I left to live at college, but then came back as a renter - I insisted on paying rent, she wanted to do it all loosey goosey). So, "selling the house" is not an option. It's never an option. It's not up for consideration. She expects to live here until she passes. I think she expects to be buried in the back yard too - well, I'm kidding, but who knows. Living in affordable senior apartment by herself? NEVER! She hates apartments. (Well, obviously I think about selling the house once in a while, but it's useless to even get near the topic in any discussion. She prefers that other people think the unthinkable. Reality was never her strong suit.)

So you are going to live forever at home? What if you lose your job and forced to find another solution?

Good, sensible suggestions though :-) The problem is that this situation seems to be working out fine for everyone else in my life. Obviously, they are not going to be part of the solution. I'm just trying to find a solution, I don't really care if they come along for it or not. Trying to get into that head space every day. I appreciate the feedback.

If it is working out for everyone else but you then you are being used as a doormat I'm afraid. You are allowing others to use you.

 

I don't know a single adult in real life who is held hostage by his mother - which is what seems to be the case for you.

[NotKelly]

Well, now you do.

 

Or rather, you don't.