Intrepidcaribou Posted December 21, 2014 Share Posted December 21, 2014 I recently started working in an office full of younger people. I'm 28, a virgin, never had a boyfriend, and I only have 2 not very close friends. Of course, I've never told anyone this. I am, however, fairly chatty, generally friendly and good at my job. I'm the kind of person who has no problem talking to strangers but difficulty making friends. In high school and university, I was generally excluded from social things. But my new coworkers, most of whom are married and in relationships, invite me out for lunch and after-work drinks. I used to think I was a socially incompetent loner but this is new to me. What should I do? Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted December 21, 2014 Share Posted December 21, 2014 Here's what you should do: Accept all invitations and do NOT tell any of them you have trouble making friends and certainly not that you're a virgin. Do not share that with them. If you do, then they'll assume there's some reason not to get close to you and back off. Don't treat it as more than it is, friendly work people at work. Don't assume it will cross over to the personal arena, and don't share too much deep person stuff at all. Let whoever invites you take the lead in subject matter. Don't let yourself get carried away feeling you must confess the big secret. Stay positive with them. Don't be self-deprecating in any way. Because when you say something bad about yourself, even in a joking way testing them, because people will remember it. They may only remember they heard that about you and not even remember it was you who said it or in what context. So don't downgrade yourself ever with other people. You have a great chance at building a little work social circle that could benefit you at work. Don't assume that if a woman is being nice at work, that she is flirting and always remember all employees are paid to be nice to all other employees at all times. But meanwhile, who knows, she might introduce you to a friend you don't work with or something like that sometime. Have fun. Sounds like a great atmosphere in which to work. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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