mattsdv1986 Posted October 17, 2014 Share Posted October 17, 2014 We were together for 6 years, lots of ups and downs. We took a break, she would pull me back in, and when I would buckle, she would throw me away. I do still love her and care about her. 2 months ago she was saying how much she missed me, and then I find out from a friend that she is dating someone else. I texted for a drink, and she told me she didnt want to hurt me, and that I still feel a connection to us when I should be moving on and trying to heal. In reality I know its a rebound, and she just "moved on" to another guy, not really dealing with anything - you cant get over a 6 year relationship in 2 months. Any advice on how to move on, or try and get her back? Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted October 17, 2014 Share Posted October 17, 2014 Do not try to get her back. The yo you on & off again dynamic you have had going is the hallmark of a dysfunctional relationship. You need some distance in here. Tell yourself it's over. Box up her stuff & any momentos from the relationship. Delete her from social media & do things to keep yourself busy & your mind off her. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
pink_sugar Posted October 18, 2014 Share Posted October 18, 2014 This probably needs to be in another section. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted October 18, 2014 Share Posted October 18, 2014 We were together for 6 years, lots of ups and downs. We took a break, she would pull me back in, and when I would buckle, she would throw me away. I do still love her and care about her. 2 months ago she was saying how much she missed me, and then I find out from a friend that she is dating someone else. I texted for a drink, and she told me she didnt want to hurt me, and that I still feel a connection to us when I should be moving on and trying to heal. In reality I know its a rebound, and she just "moved on" to another guy, not really dealing with anything - you cant get over a 6 year relationship in 2 months. Any advice on how to move on, or try and get her back? I'm so sorry you are hurting. Is this your first love? It is common that people who break up with you have actually been thinking about this move for a long time. You both are young and being together 6 years at your age hasn't given either of you a chance to meet and date other people. I don't think you should consider her new relationship a rebound necessarily or if she's met someone that she truly wants to spend time with. If she has told you to move on she means it. Always believe people when they tell you how they feel. She knows you want her back and it is up to her to come back since she's the one who broke up with you. Please don't chase after her because that will completely turn her off if she is now with someone else. I know it's hard but acceptance is a great start to getting over someone. You sound like you have alot to offer someone also and I think you would benefit greatly by getting back out there and dating. Link to post Share on other sites
GG3 Posted October 18, 2014 Share Posted October 18, 2014 If you guys were breaking up and getting back together all the time maybe she really does want to move on but has a hard time sticking to it because you don't want to? Link to post Share on other sites
hoping2heal Posted October 18, 2014 Share Posted October 18, 2014 She uses you as an object to make herself feel better. She pulls you in when she does not have any other options and needs someone to affirm her worth, give her attention, and quell the void. As soon as someone else comes along, you get the heave ho. That is neither love nor respect and at best, you can hope to be her toy for however long until she eventually marries someone else. If a person cannot recognize you as a human being and treat you as such, it does not matter that you are willing to put up with their usery and mistreatment (as so many are), it still will never end well. She is right - move on. Link to post Share on other sites
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