Friend and co-worker is a psycho

[suckered]

When I started working at this job I became good friends with a woman in her 40s. She was the one who initiated everything and we hang out a lot outside of work. At first she seemed like someone that is pleasant and sweet. As time went on she did some things that increasingly alarmed me.

 

She started talking badly about everyone in our team. In a really malicious way too, like they should get fired and she hopes they do. Then she would act like she is their best friend while saying that stuff behind their back. People that are her prime targets were her former close friends.

 

She also shared stories about her past...Like how when she was a student she got her two lecturers fired. She said that she took a detailed log of when they were late, when they made spelling or other mistakes in the assingemnts, when they didn't return them on time and then she sent it all anonymously to their boss. And they weren't back for the next term (according to her).

 

I was shocked to see that she keeps similar spreadsheets on our team members (not me....yet) - she keeps track of their time and when they leave early, if they are on Facebook.. and she also plans to send it to our boss. Again, she appears really friendly with all of them.

 

I really want to distance myself from her but she is pushy. She keeps coming to my office and then sits for a chat so there is not much I can do. I have stopped our after work socializing. I have no doubt that I will be her next target (if I am not already).

 

It's not just the friendship, it makes me very uncomfortable to have someone like that around.

 

Any tips on how to deal with this?

[dogeared]

You're right to distance yourself from such a toxic person. When she comes in to your office to chat, tell her that you're working on something with a deadline, or something similar to get her to leave.

 

Most managers don't like that kind of pettiness that your co-worker is exhibiting, and I doubt that her spreadsheet will do anything but make her look bad for spending so much time and energy keep tabs on everyone else, and for not being a team player.

 

It's the manager's job to know people's schedules/hours, not hers.

[michellew]

When I started working at this job I became good friends with a woman in her 40s. She was the one who initiated everything and we hang out a lot outside of work. At first she seemed like someone that is pleasant and sweet. As time went on she did some things that increasingly alarmed me.

 

She started talking badly about everyone in our team. In a really malicious way too, like they should get fired and she hopes they do. Then she would act like she is their best friend while saying that stuff behind their back. People that are her prime targets were her former close friends.

 

She also shared stories about her past...Like how when she was a student she got her two lecturers fired. She said that she took a detailed log of when they were late, when they made spelling or other mistakes in the assingemnts, when they didn't return them on time and then she sent it all anonymously to their boss. And they weren't back for the next term (according to her).

 

I was shocked to see that she keeps similar spreadsheets on our team members (not me....yet) - she keeps track of their time and when they leave early, if they are on Facebook.. and she also plans to send it to our boss. Again, she appears really friendly with all of them.

 

I really want to distance myself from her but she is pushy. She keeps coming to my office and then sits for a chat so there is not much I can do. I have stopped our after work socializing. I have no doubt that I will be her next target (if I am not already).

 

It's not just the friendship, it makes me very uncomfortable to have someone like that around.

 

Any tips on how to deal with this?

 

I am in a similar situation! My coworker/friend has become an embarrassment to me with her negative, loud, unprofessional behavior. I am trying to distance myself as well so that people do not associate her work ethic with mine (you know the saying..."birds of a flock fly together.") For me, it's come down to losing the friendship as well. There's no separating the two.

 

As for your "friend", do not trust this woman at all. There's a bad seed like this everywhere and unfortunately it takes a while for everyone to see it. On the inside she is a very sad, jealous, insecure, unhappy person that takes pleasure in bringing others down. I'm sure she is already keeping documentation on you... the best you can do is have your own documentation to protect yourself. If you leave early, you better be able to show where you made up that time.

 

Perhaps you should also start documenting her bad behavior...the time she takes to chat with you or worry about everyone else, is time taken from your company.

[whichwayisup]

When I started working at this job I became good friends with a woman in her 40s. She was the one who initiated everything and we hang out a lot outside of work. At first she seemed like someone that is pleasant and sweet. As time went on she did some things that increasingly alarmed me.

 

She started talking badly about everyone in our team. In a really malicious way too, like they should get fired and she hopes they do. Then she would act like she is their best friend while saying that stuff behind their back. People that are her prime targets were her former close friends.

 

She also shared stories about her past...Like how when she was a student she got her two lecturers fired. She said that she took a detailed log of when they were late, when they made spelling or other mistakes in the assingemnts, when they didn't return them on time and then she sent it all anonymously to their boss. And they weren't back for the next term (according to her).

 

I was shocked to see that she keeps similar spreadsheets on our team members (not me....yet) - she keeps track of their time and when they leave early, if they are on Facebook.. and she also plans to send it to our boss. Again, she appears really friendly with all of them.

 

I really want to distance myself from her but she is pushy. She keeps coming to my office and then sits for a chat so there is not much I can do. I have stopped our after work socializing. I have no doubt that I will be her next target (if I am not already).

 

It's not just the friendship, it makes me very uncomfortable to have someone like that around.

 

Any tips on how to deal with this?

 

Bolded - That you know of! If she has a file on you, she isn't going to show it to you! Just sayin'..

 

Be nice to her and just slowly keep distancing yourself, in this situation it's better that she is a friend instead of an enemy. You're not a target so just suck it up and listen to her at times, but don't take in what she says.

 

Whatever you do, don't piss her off.

 

Curious, do others know about her past and what she has done, and what she's capable of?

 

What an awful, bitter and mean person she is.

[bathtub-row]

Is this person in accounting? Lol. The reason I ask is because everyone in our corp accounting dept is like this. It seems to be a personality trait of many of them. They seem to thrive on stirring up problems where there are none.

 

I'm a manager and if someone came to me with a list like that, I'd throw it in the trash while they stood there, then I'd tell them to mind their own business and concentrate on their job. Hopefully your boss will do the same thing.

 

You will become the object of hatred for this person. It's just a matter of time. Have you talked to your co-workers about her? Have you talked to your boss?