Life after filing sexual harassment claim

[Lamplight]

Last November a male employee tried to force himself on me in the parking lot. After the harassment wouldn't stop, I forced to file a complaint. My desk was physically moved away from his. After that happened, I was no longer invited to department meetings and am now left out of the loop. I have to take it upon myself to find out what I need to do. As a matter of fact, that was added to my goals. Really? I can understand maybe being on the offensive to find my own work maybe 25-35% of the time.

 

Last Wednesday, I was given an unreasonable deadline for Friday before 1pm. During those two days, I also had site visits and was not in the office but somehow managed to complete the site visits, other work, buy schools supplies, get my kids off to school and meet that deadline. At 1:00pm, we had a meeting that I called into to discuss the work. When they asked if had forwarded the documentation to the other department for review I said no as I thought they wanted to review it first. My boss made a rude comment that I could not clearly hear and everyone in the room started laughing. They then put me on mute. While on mute, I made the comment "those ****ers just put me on mute. What the ****?" They were other people who called in too who probably heard me say that. They took me off mute after a minute or so and continued with the meeting. Towards the end of the call they asked for feedback concerning another issue and when I gave feedback everyone was like hmmm and acted like I haven't said a thing. My manage said he was going to have the entire team review my documentation including the pig I brought sexual harassment charges against. I'm sure he will say it sucks and send out an email to everybody. I have no intentions of making any changes that he advises but , will reply by email that I will take his comments under advisement. I have applied for various jobs in other departments to avail and plan to leave in the next year. Any advice on how I can handle the blatant disrespect in the mean time? I honestly don't care if they get upset over my ****ers comments as they were extremely rude first.

[newmoon]

stay with your job and keep your cool, ok. what the company is doing could end up being illegal and you (might) benefit from their stupidity. once you file a harassment charge with the HR at your company and they do not take care of it to your satisfaction (or you suffer negative consequences, as your are), the next step is to file charges of further job harassment through an attorney/district offices. the same thing happened to me about 6 years ago, i reported the guy to HR and they didn't do enough for me so I went to the district attorney and filed a formal complaint and threatened to get an attorney. meanwhile i was going about my daily job and ignoring the guy and just being very unfriendly, but still doing my job so that they couldn't say negative stuff about me. they got a bit scared when i took the complaint farther and moved the guy to another company office about 30 miles away. don't let them intimidate you, because now it is becoming job harassment as well. you have to be vocal and let them know the behavior will be documented and reported. DOCUMENT EVERYTHING. write down what they are doing, when, who did it, etc. because you will need that.

[CarrieT]

Document everything and save it on something or some place OTHER than a work computer. Stop with the profanity (it doesn't belong in the work place AT ALL).

 

Become the model citizen and model employee so that if you get fired, you have documentation of harassment.

 

You might also want to start looking for a new job. I don't anticipate this will ever get better.

[Tbisb74]

It is imperative, precisely as the above poster points out that (1) you become the model employee, (2) you quit the profane language and (3) you keep a record of everything. Paper trails, emails, notes messages - the lot. Even if they eventually make it so unbearable for you that you leave, that could well be accepted as constructive dismissal. In other words, they left you no option but to resign, even though it was never your voluntary intention to do so....Don't get mad - get even.

[MsSmurf]

This sounds like its becoming a hostile work environment. I agree with everyone else....document, document, document and seek outside counsel. Do not blow your top and do not cry either. That is exactly what they want and it will just further fuel their horrible actions. Just keep it professional and go about your business as if nothing is wrong, while focusing on what you need to do for you.

[jakrbbt]

My advice is to take care of yourself. I have been where you are. I was in an incredibly abusive job situation for 4 years, and some of your descriptions sound oh so familiar. I thought I'd never get out. I was sure that all those people who'd gotten out of their situations, were just ghosts from some nice future that I'd never have. But you will have it better than now.

 

Take care of your happiness and sanity in a dozen small ways each day-- like exercising, drinking matcha tea, tons of water, interacting with art and literature and beauty, doing positive self-talk, paying attention to the things you like, and if you can, spend some time with friends every week or 2. You can't not seethe over the pigs at work, but you can saturate your mind with other, good things.

 

Try to perform in a way that is above the reproach of a normal person. But beyond that, don't try too hard to stave off the reproaches of the pigs. Know that they will attack again, and have your notebook and pen ready. Know that you will not like it, but each time, it will pass and then one day you will be out of there. Rather than cuss, come up with some sneaky tiny hand gestures (no, not that one) that only you know, and do them under the table. I used to put lavender oil on the end of my pen and smell it while talking to the boss, it calmed me down surprisingly well. Plus it felt sneaky for some reason, and I liked that.

 

This whole business of retaliation after a harassment complaint, it sucks, it's insidious, it's probably illegal where you are but so hard to peg people for it. You should not have to be dealing with this, and it is not your fault.

 

Document document document. A few words jotted down for each incident even, you can later explain them if needed. Date and time.

Edited August 4, 2014 by jakrbbt

[Got it]

I agree, make sure you document everything. I would report continue issues with HR. You can talk to a lawyer now though they may say not enough has happened at this. I do agree it sounds like it is or becoming a hostile work environment. You can also contact the EEOC for their recommendation.

 

I am very sorry you are going through this. You don't deserve it.

[USMCHokie]

Sounds like retribution...the law does not look favorably upon that...

[BlueIris]

Not sure if you filed a complaint in court, with the EEOC or with HR. I do hope you've spoken with an employment attorney. There are time restrictions that might apply (not sure of your actions yet) for an EEOC charge.

Google EEOC and "Filing A Charge of Discrimination"

[Yasuandio]

Hon, you are probably screwed, you may have waited to long for the suggestions I'm going to offer. But, I put them down in writing anyway.

 

Get this book NOW, it is only 5 bucks used on Amazon.

 

The Whistleblower's Handbook: A Step-by-Step Guide to Doing What's Right and Protecting Yourself, Stephen Martin Kohn, Esq.

 

What I mean by screwed is, that HR is not on your side, and you have to wake up and smell the coffee. They are building a file against you, that is an obvious conclusion. They are going to get you out of there, or, drive you crazy.

 

It is called "The NUTS or SLUTS" technique (either they try to make you look like a whore and embarrass you, OR, in your case, the go with a slow Chinese torture to the point you just can't take it anymore - and you start acting inappropriately - i.e., unstable or nuts). Over time, you are going to feel more and more disturbed by this treatment and it will begin to wear on yo psychologically and in your work product. You are already playing right into their hand. Swearing in front of team-mates, uncooperative, etc., etc. Keep on with this crap - and soon, - your credibility will suffer, and place your allegations in question. That's the system.

 

If you do anything, you might try going on the offensive. However, the initial way you went about the complaint action may hurt your case - in my opinion. (but - perhaps you can reserect that, with the advice of an attorney, and EVIDENCE). Let me explain.

 

If it had been me in this situation last November, and a "coworker forced himself on me in a parking lot," - I would have called the police on site - made a Complaint, and had him arrested. No question about it. This event WAS NOT "Sexual Harrassment," it was a Sexual Assaualt (you could have been raped).

 

The question now is: Is there evidence? Was there any video sevelance in this parking at the time? With that, you could go to the police - and explain why you were afaid to come forward. You don't have to press charges, but the police will assign an advocate for you. Hopefully you provided all the gory details to HR in writing. Don't embellish in talking to police. Actually, you should really see an employment attorney, for a free consult FIRST. They probably won't take your case, but you can get direction and guidance.

 

The record at work will show that retaliation has already begun. That is some evidence. But you put the cart before the horse.

 

Fighting matters like sexual harassment this takes years from your life and oftentimes, it goes nowhere. You have to choose your battles wisely. This doesn't sound like it is worth it.

 

If it was caught on film, I would get him arrested, and I think you'll see a change in attitude at work real fast - but they hate you forever.

 

Again, the biggest problem: you did not follow thru with calling authorities is what you will have to overcome here. It won't be easy. In fact, it may be impossible. It depends on the evidence. Also, you must factor in that this man could claim that you are making a FALSE CLAIM - and SUE you. That's why you legal advice, and need to talk to the detectives (but remember - detectives don't care if you get sued). But, if you DIRECT EVIDENCE, no problem.

 

INHO, HR should have told you to go the police, btw.

 

If you have this on tape, and your employer continues to make you work with the perpetrator - that is when the harrassment comes in (against the employer).

 

PROOF IS EVERYTHING.

 

Have a tap recorder when you talk to this guy. Tell him about you discomfort working with him after what he did to you in parking lot. Try to get him to admit it on tape. Don't talk to your colleagues about any of this. Just be an undercover agent - record all conversations - HR, everyone.

 

Need more facts. Meanwhile, look for another job. Hon, it is not worth it with out dead on proof. Even then, no one cares sometimes. Yas

Edited August 5, 2014 by Yasuandio

[GorillaTheater]

Sounds like retribution...the law does not look favorably upon that...

 

Nope. The term is retaliation, and you may have a claim under both Title VII and Title IX. Speak with an attorney.

 

The good news is that retaliation claims are easier to prove than discrimination or harassment claims. The bad news is that the drama in your life will increase a bit and for a while.

[GemmaUK]

Lamplight, is this the same company that you posted other issues about or a different one?