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colleague got a warning because of me


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  • 1 Post By i.want.out.
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Old 9th March 2014, 5:40 PM   #1
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colleague got a warning because of me

Hello all,

I felt that a colleague was being a tad bit stalkish, so I made a formal complaint about him. He got a warning, and if I complain again, he will be kicked out.


One of the managers suggested that he may be acting like this because he may fancy me, so it made me feel guilty to be ruining someone's life like this.


Nonetheless, he was giving me too much attention [stares, following me around, behind constantly behind my back]...He does look cute, but still...


I don't know whether to feel guilty or not.
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Old 9th March 2014, 5:51 PM   #2
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Welcome to the board. You'll find that you are able to feel anyway you want to on matters. Its how you choose to handle such that makes the difference. You are NOT accountable for this gents behavior or his lack of work ethics (manners). You did what was right for your current safety at work. The guilt is normal as you obviously have a heart about folks, Learn to temper it though with caution for others inappropriate actions.
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Old 9th March 2014, 6:08 PM   #3
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you didn't ruin his life - he hasn't been fired yet. he is probably just going to be very embarrassed. this is why sexual harassment laws exist and why we have HR departments and such - because you have the right to complain when someone is making your workplace uncomfortable. that being said, I would have probably approached him first and given him a chance to explain and/or back off before going right to a manager, but it's however you feel, and be glad they actually did something on your behalf - some companies/managers do not
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Old 10th March 2014, 12:20 AM   #4
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Did you let him know you're not interested romantically or otherwise let him know you were uncomfortable with his behavior?
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Old 10th March 2014, 10:01 AM   #5
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First he's in trouble because of his behavior not yours.

However, before you ran to management to intervene did you talk to him & tell him to stop? That would have been the most professional first step on getting the unwanted behavior to stop.

If you now flip flop & decide you like this man, management is going to question your judgment & maturity. If I was your boss & you complained then started dating this guy, I would not trust you; I'd question your ability to do your job & I'd be looking for ways to get you off my payroll.
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Old 10th March 2014, 10:15 AM   #6
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It's too late now to feel guilty so just let it go. What's done is done.
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Old 10th March 2014, 3:12 PM   #7
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If his behavior was not offensive, but just annoying, it would have been best to tell him to stop privately. That's true for any garden-variety complaint you would like to make in the workplace - take it first to the person who can deal with it.

OTOH, if you made a true report to HR, there is little to feel guilty about. It's not wrong to make such a report.
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Old 10th March 2014, 4:48 PM   #8
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so, you feel like giving him a pass because?

On the one hand, he is actin like a creep, in violation of just about every corporation polic about sexual harrassment.

On the other hand, you think he is cute?

Are you thinking that that somehow should be a factor in his favor?

Flipping the theory. If he were homely, would yo give him a pass?

I really doubt it.

Stick to your guns. You owed him no warning.

A harassing type of guy would deny it is going on and try to make you realize that. And probably with an offer to go for coffee.

Avoid him.
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Old 18th March 2014, 10:28 AM   #9
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It seems to me that you have been a little bit hasty in complaining about the young man.
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Old 23rd March 2014, 7:33 PM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by michelangelo View Post
On the one hand, he is actin like a creep, in violation of just about every corporation polic about sexual harrassment.

On the other hand, you think he is cute?

Are you thinking that that somehow should be a factor in his favor?

Flipping the theory. If he were homely, would yo give him a pass?

I really doubt it.

Stick to your guns. You owed him no warning.

A harassing type of guy would deny it is going on and try to make you realize that. And probably with an offer to go for coffee.

Avoid him.

I don't understand this phrase.
He is cute. VERY.

But basically, I interpreted his behaviour in a bad way:someone had apparently been watching me to tell awful things about me and what I do to my family. Then, I feel like my co-worker stalks me (esp as he looks like he is from my community and there is a lot of gossip going on between us).

I regret my move as I kind of fancy him, esp now that he gave me some space (he avoids coming on the floor I work at and keeps a distance).


What do I do to make him friendly again with me, without losing face after my complaint?
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