How do you transition from Gossiper to strictly professional?

[wildsunandmoon]

I used to be strictly professional at work but due to the age range and the work environment, it's easy to fall into "work friendships" with my co-workers. I used to be strictly all work and no talk, but as of lately I found myself gossiping and telling my coworkers about my personal life. I've said things in confidential and it's only a matter of time before it spreads.

 

How do I stop and get people to take me seriously? I love my job and I don't want to get personal anymore. Please help. I wanted to be respected again.

[KathyM]

Once you disclose things to people about yourself or someone else, you have no control over who it is repeated to, or what happens to that disclosure. I would suggest you start controlling what you disclose to others and refrain from engaging in badmouthing someone to others. If someone starts gossiping about someone else in the workplace, just don't participate, or better yet, say something more positive about the person being gossiped about. I know this is difficult. A lot of people tend to gossip. I think it's good to shut them down when they do, by either changing the subject without participating in the gossip, or by countering the gossip by saying something positive about the person.

[preraph]

You have to tell each of your gossiper friends you're not going to so that anymore and tell them to stop telling you things because you worry about getting fired. Be serious. Then just keep your head down, and stop hanging around with them.

[d0nnivain]

It's OK to talk about your personal life at work. You simple can't be salacious.

 

 

For example, you can mention the name of some restaurant you ate at. You shouldn't mention that you spent the whole time fantasizing about your date.

[newmoon]

I've experienced this in the past as well. You don't just walk in and announce your intention to tell less, that looks rather foolish. But slowly start to tell less and less. When you get a 'how was your weekend?' ... you just say 'fine' and move on, you omit all details. Just be vague, be nonspecific, and very quickly turn the question to them, 'my weekend was great, how was yours? what did you do?' Make other people do the talking and if you like to gossip, then gossip with them about them, not about you. Gossip in an office happens, it's common, you just have to curb how much about you gets out, and it's much more fun to gossip about celebrities and pop culture, so even try that. You can turn yourself around and be more professional, it takes effort, and once certain things are out you can't take those back, but you stop giving more.