Old crush on coworker coming back to life?

[Teknoe]

I work at a small work place... very very small. One of the women there I developed a crush on back in September, and things seemed to be going well. I asked her out on a hang out excursion, not really a date but more of a friend hang out thing. She was wish washy and I got turned off and decided she wasn't interested (enough to say yes).

 

Months go by and I kinda drop the whole idea. But this past week we've been sort of reconnecting through happenstance of bumping into each other at work, even having lunch together just the 2 of us, and shooting the breeze. She's easy on the eyes, fun conversationalist and I feel she really gets my humor, which is very attractive to me... as nothing kills my buzz faster than someone who doesn't get my humor -- all facets of it, from witty to corny to raunchy.

 

Anyway, I'm trying to block myself from falling into the typical "projection" and "fantasy" thing I always do with crushes.

 

I enjoy my singleness and also she IS my coworker. I am thinking of asking her to hang out at some point, but def. not a date. Can't tell if she likes me at all in a romantic sense, but she's definitely comfy and friendly when it's just me and her. I don't want to make too much out of it though, as I have done in the past with past crushes who I was sure dug me romantically as well, but only saw me strictly as a good guy friend. And of course, once I confessed, the friendship was all over

 

I definitely do not want that experience again! I am done with confessions

[LurkerXX]

On average, women suffer more from the consequences of workplace romance than men; although men face the thought of a harassment suit, this rarely comes to fruition. I would interpret her wishy-washy-ness as liking you as a potential friend, but picking up that your interest is a little more. In a close environment as a school, with all the most weird and prudish aspects of our society focused to punish teachers that don't meet parents' expectations(ie teachers getting fired over facebook photos of them socially drinking, sometimes not even very drunk), it may not be worth the risk to her. Even if she would be open otherwise.

[Teknoe]

On average, women suffer more from the consequences of workplace romance than men; although men face the thought of a harassment suit, this rarely comes to fruition. I would interpret her wishy-washy-ness as liking you as a potential friend, but picking up that your interest is a little more. In a close environment as a school, with all the most weird and prudish aspects of our society focused to punish teachers that don't meet parents' expectations(ie teachers getting fired over facebook photos of them socially drinking, sometimes not even very drunk), it may not be worth the risk to her. Even if she would be open otherwise.

 

Yeah, pretty much. I think if she wasn't my coworker then I'd be more apt to give it a shot (at least, right out of the gate). Right now I'm approaching it very cautiously, and am content in where she and I stand right now. Colleagues who have a decent connection whenever we bump into each other at work. We're both single and of similar age and nationality and interests, so it's not shocking we'd get along.

 

It's just a matter of do we really connect, or do we connect because of geographical convenience?

 

At any rate, I want to take this cool, nonchalantly and just live in the moment each day.

 

Also, weird that last night I had a dream where she sent me two flattering text messages. I woke up checked my phone but there was nothing, lol. I am wondering (half wondering) if the dream was some sort of divine intervention letting me know how she really feels about me, but I can't trust the Id and subconscious mind, either, lol.

[preraph]

You can't read anything at all into how someone feels about you if you work with them, because it's kind of their job to act like they like everyone. You asked her out once, she said no. If she'd been the least bit interested but it just wasn't a good time, she'd have extended a casual invitation back your way. If you have to wonder if someone "like likes" you, then they pretty much don't. You can tell if someone is interested without having to wonder about it.

[Teknoe]

You can't read anything at all into how someone feels about you if you work with them, because it's kind of their job to act like they like everyone. You asked her out once, she said no. If she'd been the least bit interested but it just wasn't a good time, she'd have extended a casual invitation back your way. If you have to wonder if someone "like likes" you, then they pretty much don't. You can tell if someone is interested without having to wonder about it.

 

 

That's true. To elaborate, I asked her out to a game. She said yes. I then emailed her a link with information, and told her to pick a game.

 

She never did, and when I asked if she got my email she said yes, but for whatever reason it went nowhere. I didn't push her in person to pick a game, and soon the season ended anyway so there were no more games to go to.

 

Had I bought 2 tickets and gave her one, she would have gone with me. But I felt that was a bit too much/forward, so I offered her a link instead.

 

From her end she could be super cautious too.

 

At any rate, she said yes to my church offer and we'll see how that works out in the coming weeks.

[preraph]

Because you work together, she is bending over backwards not to be impolite to you, but she has to draw the line somewhere, so that's what she did about the game. She obviously doesn't want to confront and have a personal conversation about it, but she knew this was more than business, so she simply balked and did nothing you could hold against her professionally. Please just back off and be professional from this point forward. She's not interested. There's plenty of other ladies out there who will be that you don't work with.