idgers14 Posted July 10, 2012 Share Posted July 10, 2012 (edited) Yes I am. I am a lesbian woman and I don't know if she is straight or gay. I know there are ethics that she has to abide by and I would never think of, or want to, put her Medical Doctorship in jeopardy, Never! I would walk away first; and probably think about her for the rest of my life. She is the kindest, most caring, gentle, most wonderful person I have ever met. I just don't know what to do. I prayed for her to come to me in a relationship...little did I know she would show up in the form of a doctor. Good grief! lol I have been seeing her for the past year and a half, almost monthly. It has just been in the last month or so that I have really noticed this. Good grief, I am so shy that I don't even know if she is married, or if she has a lover or if...if she is...I back off. It is the right thing to do. I'm not sure if she has figured out just how attracted I am to her yet or not. If she has noticed, she hasn't let me know. She is professional in every area there is. I have the utmost respect for her, and for her life and would not want to jolt it...for any reason. But, I need to know...if I even have a chance...I know this is a touchy subject. I wonder if there is a doctor out there that can get into the ethics of this situation. Really, I have ethics and integrity myself. I also have an appt. with her this week. Would like to get some suggestions before I see her again. Edited July 10, 2012 by idgers14 Link to post Share on other sites
Arabella Posted July 10, 2012 Share Posted July 10, 2012 Is there a particular condition why you need to see her every month, or just making up excuses to do so? If the latter, then I'm sure she has noticed... I don't think there is a good way of approaching this situation... but I don't ever advocate just walking away from situations like this. If you want something, you should go for it. Do you make small-talk during your appointments? If so, casually bring up an event or restaurant that you've been wanting to go to, and if she seems interested, then ask her to come with you. Given that you are both women, she might see this as gaining a new friend. Her reaction will tell you everything you need to know. If she says no, either she's not interested or she just doesn't think it's appropriate for her to hang out with a patient. Either way, leave it alone. If she agrees, you'll get to spend time with her and figure out what her sexual orientation is, and whether she already has a partner. At worst, you may need to change doctors... I say go for it. Good luck! -A Link to post Share on other sites
an6el Posted July 12, 2012 Share Posted July 12, 2012 I'd say just get to know her, ask her about her family, any kids... and best of luck. I wouldn't know much about getting to know your doctor. Or if you have a party you could invite her... I'm not sure... but best of luck Link to post Share on other sites
CarrieT Posted July 12, 2012 Share Posted July 12, 2012 I am dating a doctor and NO doctor in their right mind will date a patient. If he/she is attracted to a patient then the doctor *might* refer the patient to another doctor BEFORE starting to date. But there are huge Codes of Ethics against the behavior and it could cost the doctor their medical license. I wouldn't even go there.... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
eleanorhurting Posted July 12, 2012 Share Posted July 12, 2012 (edited) I am dating a doctor and NO doctor in their right mind will date a patient. If he/she is attracted to a patient then the doctor *might* refer the patient to another doctor BEFORE starting to date. But there are huge Codes of Ethics against the behavior and it could cost the doctor their medical license. I wouldn't even go there.... yeah guys I'm sorry but I am in medical school and dating a patient is strongly discouraged. We are even shown videos of how to respond if a patient were coming on to us and they always show the patient doing exactly what you are encouraging the OP to do and the correct answer is always to not reveal personal information, to not accept invitations and if the patient starts really trying something then you need to bring your nurse or secretary to be present at appointments. I think you need to let go of it or at least accept that this attraction can only remain at that. I had a crush on a Dr. once. He was a resident and was only 4 years older than me. I felt the same way you did except I finally let it go and I definitely don't think about him anymore! I doubt you will be thinking about her for the rest of your life! Try to think of this as a learning experience. You saw qualities in this person that you felt attracted to. Try to seek them out in someone outside of your doctor. I wish you the best of luck! Edited July 12, 2012 by eleanorhurting Link to post Share on other sites
Eternal Sunshine Posted July 12, 2012 Share Posted July 12, 2012 EH, we get shown those videos on what to do when students come on to us. It's probably fairly similar. But they scare the s... out of us and I don't think I would even look twice at a student even if he looked like Brad Pitt. OP - I would just forget about it. Link to post Share on other sites
Radu Posted July 12, 2012 Share Posted July 12, 2012 Yes I am. I am a lesbian woman and I don't know if she is straight or gay. I know there are ethics that she has to abide by and I would never think of, or want to, put her Medical Doctorship in jeopardy, Never! I would walk away first; and probably think about her for the rest of my life. She is the kindest, most caring, gentle, most wonderful person I have ever met. I just don't know what to do. I prayed for her to come to me in a relationship...little did I know she would show up in the form of a doctor. Good grief! lol I have been seeing her for the past year and a half, almost monthly. It has just been in the last month or so that I have really noticed this. Good grief, I am so shy that I don't even know if she is married, or if she has a lover or if...if she is...I back off. It is the right thing to do. I'm not sure if she has figured out just how attracted I am to her yet or not. If she has noticed, she hasn't let me know. She is professional in every area there is. I have the utmost respect for her, and for her life and would not want to jolt it...for any reason. But, I need to know...if I even have a chance...I know this is a touchy subject. I wonder if there is a doctor out there that can get into the ethics of this situation. Really, I have ethics and integrity myself. I also have an appt. with her this week. Would like to get some suggestions before I see her again. It would help ppl here if you mentioned where you are from, and how the culture is. It would help to check up on the net if in your country, doctors have lost their licenses if they got involved with a patient or former patient. It would help to find out more about her relationship history, but only you can do this. Now, if all of these were positives, because of the fact that you are a lesbian [smaller pool of available ppl], i would say go for it. You would probably lose her as a doctor though. PS: I had a crush on my dentist. Link to post Share on other sites
JasonRules Posted July 12, 2012 Share Posted July 12, 2012 Bad idea. It is highly unethical for doctors to be dating/sleeping around with their patients and I doubt anyone, but a total scumbag would do it. The same applies to teachers with their students. Find another doctor. Link to post Share on other sites
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