Got yelled at by coworker...who is also boss's brother

[SilverLining]

I work at an international school as a teacher and 'unofficially but official really soon' the vice principal. Anyway, I called a meeting and one of my coworkers was really rude to me, which was noted by everyone. When I approached him about this afterward, he got into my face, yelled at me, was really insulting, told me he wasn't listening to anything I had to say, then as he walked off, he flipped me off. I'm 31 and a young looking, small female, and he's in his 50s. He had a whole laundry list of why he was rude. I apparently interrupted a meeting that I had no clue was going on (door was opened, was not in a special room, just the general office, no one told me I was interrupting anything), I caught a student of his doing a classmate's homework and he was upset I brought it up to him, his kids were misbehaving and (using a poor choice of words, I agree) said he might want to get control of his kids - but not in a "you don't have control of your kids and you better fix that" way, in a "your kids are kinda out of control and I'm letting you know so you can do something about it" way. Personally, I think he has an issue with me being an authority figure, especially since my authority has not been spelled out as of yet.

 

I mentioned this to the owner of the school, who told me to not worry about it and that I was much more valued than this coworker - not only do they want me as vp but they also want me to be principal at some point - but this same coworker also went off on another teacher.

 

Well, my principal wants to talk to me about this. I asked him if we could wait until next week, given that this is actually quite upsetting for me for a different reason - I have an abusive past, and having someone yell at me like that brings up a whole lot of feelings and fears and memories. I wanted time to sort that out from the reality of the situation. He refused, and demanded I meet with him. My question is, given the fact that this is the principal's brother, I'm wondering if I should ask the owner to sit in this meeting. I don't trust my principal to be unbiased about this. Will this make me come off as unprofessional?

 

Edit: I just want to say that in no way am I following this guy around and commenting on everything he does. When I was telling him about his kids misbehaving, it was during time in the park while we were practicing for a school field event - I am not hanging out in his classroom telling him how to run his class or anything. These things occurred over a period of a month or so.

Edited May 31, 2012 by SilverLining
more info

[january2011]

I think it really depends on the nature of the meeting. If it's an informal chat, then having the owner there might be a bit too much.

 

However, if it might have a disciplinary agenda, then I think that you need to bring a witness with you.

 

I'm sorry that you had an abusive past and it sounds like your encounter with the brother was very confrontational and aggressive. However, I think that since the principal is your boss, you need to attend the meeting as requested. It's his job to deal with this and he needs to meet with you to do so. With the time that you have before the meeting, I strongly suggest that document everything that's been going on, including times, dates and what you witnessed as well as the conversations - as much as you can remember.

 

I also think that you need to review your contract and job remit so that you can be clear it was your role to intervene with the brother. And his reaction to your intervention was both highly inappropriate and unprofessional given your seniority and that it was your job to point out what you did.