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Got a thing for my lecturer


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Old 23rd September 2011, 12:07 AM   #1
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Got a thing for my lecturer

So heres the problem....I have a bit of a crush on my lecturer...

Unlike most of these stories you hear, he's not married and I'm not 18 and impressionable.
Im 23, I have a child, and I have been through the dating mill enough times to know that most of my crush is down to the fact that he IS a lecturer, and whats bad for you usually tastes best....
But, it doesnt stop him flirting (and on one drunken night, blatantly staring at me from across the room), and i've gotten to the stage where I'm pretty sure he has a thing for me/had a thing for me at some stage. I'm not dumb or unrealistic, I dont think Im madly in love with him and we'll run away together; it's just lust, but its lust that Id like to satisfy.
So...the question is, do I continue to flirt and risk it either:
a) going too far or
b) not going anywhere?
Either way I can see myself ending up with a load of regret at the end of all this, yet everytime I see him, I get the rush that seems to override all the logic in my brain.
HELP, WHAT DO I DO??

(Also, although I shouldnt be asking this, but if I did decide to try to pull him, how do I manage it without making a complete fool of myself??)
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Old 24th September 2011, 1:57 PM   #2
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First things first, finish the class. It is very very likely against school rules for him to have a personal relationship with a student. Do you really want to jeopardize his livelihood for some drunk booty call?

December will get here soon enough. Ask him out for drinks AFTER grades are turned in.
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Old 11th October 2011, 12:11 PM   #3
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Cass View Post
So heres the problem....I have a bit of a crush on my lecturer...

Unlike most of these stories you hear, he's not married and I'm not 18 and impressionable.
Im 23, I have a child, and I have been through the dating mill enough times to know that most of my crush is down to the fact that he IS a lecturer, and whats bad for you usually tastes best....
But, it doesnt stop him flirting (and on one drunken night, blatantly staring at me from across the room), and i've gotten to the stage where I'm pretty sure he has a thing for me/had a thing for me at some stage. I'm not dumb or unrealistic, I dont think Im madly in love with him and we'll run away together; it's just lust, but its lust that Id like to satisfy.
So...the question is, do I continue to flirt and risk it either:
a) going too far or
b) not going anywhere?
Either way I can see myself ending up with a load of regret at the end of all this, yet everytime I see him, I get the rush that seems to override all the logic in my brain.
HELP, WHAT DO I DO??

(Also, although I shouldnt be asking this, but if I did decide to try to pull him, how do I manage it without making a complete fool of myself??)
Drooling at pretty young things is one of the few remaining perks that lecturers have. Few mean anything more by it than window-shopping - it's simply not worth the risk. Most universities have very strict policies on staff-student involvements, and 23 might feel mature to you but is very young when you're drawing up a policy that will apply largely to men in their late 50s.

If you're still interested once you've graduated, send him an email and invite him for coffee "as someone who had a great influence on your study career". If he's interested, he'll take you up on it and you can decide whether or not there's anything worth pursuing - even a friendship. But to hit on him while you're still a student at his university is risking your reputation, his career and possibly both of your futures.
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