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Negative begats negative


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I just started working at a large corporation, and am starting to get that work = stress, and that's just my job - to handle it. I like working under pressure, but there's one thing that I cannot stand that bleeds into the professional area that I HATE in personal areas. GOSSIP. There's ridiculous amounts of politics that go on, mostly from the the lifers at the company that LIKE to rock the boat.

 

I would happily stay out of it except it drives my supervisor crazy and he just voices that all day. Almost every minute he says "Are you serious" or.. "guys freaking nuts" .. or "It's just impossible".."this woman..she's crazy.." and.. "I don't know how they expect us to work like this it's insane".. Besides that, he's a really nice guy, will give advice, and try to be helpful, shares life stories, doesn't really care what time I come in, makes me leave early sometimes.

 

I know more than him about my job, and he's been here for 5-6 months. He's my supervisor though, so any questions I have I can't really ask unless it's about the rest of my department, and not my specific job.

 

This is literally ALL day. I'm not sure what complaining about him on here myself is going to do, because I can't move, he's my supervisor, and well...now that I think about it I COULD ask if I could move, but I'm just a contractor that started a month ago. It's just SO MUCH STRESS added. It's hard for me to not stay focused on the problem, and solve it when it's continually compounded with more negativity and not actual problem solving.

 

For example..there is a woman..who has a "relationship" with one of the big bosses in our region. She complains about our department all the time. Basically barks up a tree, tries to whistleblow at every minute mistake which makes the problems 10x --which doesn't even exist-- longer to fix. It riles everyone up. It's her approach basically to the situation, and by the time it gets to us, it's escalated into something that makes your hair fall out.

 

Does anyone have any experience in dealing with people and diffusing situations? I used to like it, but it's everyday and beginning to feel like a lost cause. Nothing else is working (being positive, making jokes, offering ideas, asking questions) I need a different strategy because my patience is running out. Thanks!

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Does anyone have any experience in dealing with people and diffusing situations? I used to like it, but it's everyday and beginning to feel like a lost cause. Nothing else is working (being positive, making jokes, offering ideas, asking questions) I need a different strategy because my patience is running out. Thanks!

 

What you're talking about sounds pretty tame. The usual office politics from people who want to spice the dullness of the working day up with politics and gossip. I've found most places to be like that, and you walk a tightrope between being a sympathetic ear and not getting dragged into anything murky.

 

What I've found to be the most successful way of dealing with people who are bitching and being negative is to give them a hearing, let them vent and try to cheer them up with a bit of caustic humour. The Pollyanna approach doesn't generally go down well when people are ranting and bitching about work.

 

If somebody tells you some scandalous gossip, listen and give all the right wide eyed responses that they're looking for, but don't pass the gossip on. If you've heard the gossip already, don't let on otherwise people will see you as somebody who has acccess to juicy info about other people in the workplace and will start trying to pump you for it.

 

It's all very well for textbooks, magazine articles and sites like this to talk about being detached, adult and positive in the face of workplace toxicity. If all you had to do was walk into work, smile and be polite to everybody, do your job and then go home...life would be grand. However, that's not how it tends to work out in practice. If you adopt a detached, professional and polite role in response to people's bitching, unless you're the boss or fairly high up in the hierarchy the chances are you'll piss people off. I know it's unfair, but I have experienced it myself at times, and I've seen it happen to others.

 

Generally I've found that the more I feel I'm walking that tightrope of being part of the team, but gently trying to steer the team away from behaviour I don't like (for instance, if it looks as though the team is starting to isolate a member, or becoming downright toxic in its negativity) the more highly I've been valued by the team. The price is that it's a stressful and headache-inducing position to be in.

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Unfortunately, this happens everywhere you go. You can't escape it. But what you can do is to learn to cope with it. Try not to let it affect you. There are lots of articles online where they teach how to deal with office politics or difficult situations. Do a search on google and you'll come across a lot of relevant links.

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Feelin Frisky

My advice is to work your butt off to GET OUT OF THERE. You may land in other similar places and the advice will remain the same: work your butt off to GET OUT OF THERE. Unless you've come into the job as the hand-picked hot shot you will be among a bunch of people who are STUCK in little turf wars where character assassination is the normal way to manipulate the scoreboard. I went through it for 17 years and I wish I had an older brother or something leading me to remove myself for that no win situation. If you make up your mind not to settle in and instead stay mobile, you'll gain experience that will increase your resume and keep out of the fray where you may find yourself "stressed" by someone else deliberately sabotaging your advancement in favor of theirs.

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optomistic_nonsense

I like Taremere's response, and I agree. I work for a company who seems to be juuuust like the one you work for. It comes with the territory I'm afraid, and like previous posters stated - you can't escape it. The larger the company, the more gossip you're usually surrounded by. Even if you try to keep away, I'm sure you'll be a magnet for SOMEthing :rolleyes:

 

Hang in there though, you'll eventually get used to it. Try the old "in one ear and out the other" approach ;)

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