Workplace Heartbreak

[Star Gazer]

Today's my last day at my firm. Without going into detail, I'm leaving private practice and taking on an amazing opportunity. It's kinda a big deal, for me, anyway.

 

I was elated when I accepted the new position. But when I gave my notice/resigned at my firm two weeks ago, I was sad. Really sad. I literally broke down and cried in each of the parter's offices, and made two cry as well. I didn't expect to feel that way, or react that way. I thought I'd be skipping into their offices and saying something similar to "See ya later, suckas!" I have visions of using a white board or an emergency slide, if you know what I mean...

 

But I actually felt guilty giving them the news. They were all so sad, so disappointed. One partner said, "Please don't go." Another said, "I've never said this when an associate has left, but this really is our loss." As a testament to how much they love me, there's an award that 4 of us received, and the firm is publishing an article/spread about it next month in the city magazine. There's plenty of time for them to edit the article and the photograph of the 4 of us before it's published. But they want me to still be in it, as a recognition of what I brought to the firm, and so that I still get "credit" for the award. They're also throwing me a full on going away party tomorrow.

 

This is absolutely the right decision for me both professionally and personally, but it doesn't come without it's own version of heartbreak. My boss is literally bi-polar, and goes from one extreme of being an arse and tyrant, to being a big softie. But overall, he and the firm have been really, really good to me (especially on a personal level). The staff all love me, and I them. It's a family to me. A dysfunctional family, but a family nonetheless. And basically coming from virtually no family, these people have come to mean the world to me.

 

So I'm just very sad today. I'm literally batting away tears as I type this. It feels like a breakup. I hope it doesn't take me long to get over it, and that the new job eventually feels like family too. But how do you replace an entire group of people, with such a unique dynamic?? Sigh.

 

I hope you all have a work family too.

[Lauriebell82]

It's hard to leave coworkers that you have bonded with. But it helps to find another new work family that you can count on and become friends with.

[Trimmer]

I had a really good work family, too - dysfunctional in various ways, as all familes are, but a good one. When I left, it was sad, but I was glad to be able to do so in good standing, not burning any bridges, and in the fullness of time, I have maintained satisfying friendships with some of them, as well as professional connections that have been beneficial on both sides. To put it bluntly, I've gotten paying work as a result of maintaining those good relationships, and acting like a professional.

 

I think it's to your credit that you can leave in such good standing; I don't know how it is in the legal profession, relative to my field, but if there's any opportunity for future work together, networking, referring clients back and forth, etc. then by leaving gracefully, you have positioned yourself as a true professional, and by not burning those bridges (I never recommend leaving any job with "see ya, suckas..." ) you may well be setting in place part of a professional network that may help your career in the future.

 

Having said all that, I do acknowledge and empathize that it's a loss in your life... We tend to think of "work" as kind of robotic, but we're not all robots - these are real, personal relationships, and it's a real social/group bond that you are stepping back from.

 

So remember the good, and know that the good wishes are still there, but focus on your amazing opportunity, and you may well find that in time, it will fulfil that need for social/group dynamics...

[USMCHokie]

It's clear that you were a valuable member of that firm, both professionally and as 'one of the group'...it's pretty obvious that they are going to miss you just as much, if not more, than you will miss them...it's this tight knit family atmosphere, whether dysfunctional or not, that makes it worth it to go into work everyday...

 

But rest assured that with the new place you're going, you will develop new bonds with a brand new family...and I'm sure that new family will quickly realize how lucky they are to have received such an extraordinary person...

[Mary3]

If only most employees could say all the wonderful things you have said about your co-workers , partners and supervisors .

 

I know you must have a great opportunity ahead of you.

 

But to me, getting along and being accepted ( in your case , everyone loves you ) is very important to me along with loving the job and stability

[Star Gazer]

Even though my last day at the firm was last week, I returned today to clean out my office. It made me sad...again.

 

I think it's to your credit that you can leave in such good standing; I don't know how it is in the legal profession, relative to my field, but if there's any opportunity for future work together, networking, referring clients back and forth, etc. then by leaving gracefully, you have positioned yourself as a true professional, and by not burning those bridges (I never recommend leaving any job with "see ya, suckas..." ) you may well be setting in place part of a professional network that may help your career in the future.

 

I left private practice, and the circumstances of what I'm doing now kinda prevent referral of business/clients/etc. while I stay where I am. But I did make sure that there will be a lot of people who will be more than happy to help me out if I ever decide to move on again.

 

Having said all that, I do acknowledge and empathize that it's a loss in your life... We tend to think of "work" as kind of robotic, but we're not all robots - these are real, personal relationships, and it's a real social/group bond that you are stepping back from.

 

Thanks, Trimmer. That's what's so tough for me right now. It is a loss, and on the heels of another big loss earlier in the summer (my breakup), it just feels like a lot of change in a short period.

 

I know my firm (particularly the partners) feel like I've rejected them. It's been so awkward.

 

It's clear that you were a valuable member of that firm, both professionally and as 'one of the group'...it's pretty obvious that they are going to miss you just as much, if not more, than you will miss them...it's this tight knit family atmosphere, whether dysfunctional or not, that makes it worth it to go into work everyday...

 

But rest assured that with the new place you're going, you will develop new bonds with a brand new family...and I'm sure that new family will quickly realize how lucky they are to have received such an extraordinary person...

 

You always have just the right words... :love:

 

If only most employees could say all the wonderful things you have said about your co-workers , partners and supervisors .

 

I know you must have a great opportunity ahead of you.

 

But to me, getting along and being accepted ( in your case , everyone loves you ) is very important to me along with loving the job and stability

 

Thanks, Mary. I feel really lucky...

Edited September 6, 2010 by Star Gazer