LoveShack.org Community Forums

Reload this Page LoveShack.org Community Forums > Platonic > Business and Professional Relationships

Possible stalker...should I quit?


Business and Professional Relationships Networking and maintaining a positive environment in the work place is important! Surviving the 9-to-5 within.

Old 10th May 2010, 8:23 PM   #1
Established Member
 
4givrnt4gtr's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Posts: 1,252
Possible stalker...should I quit?

Very long story short I work with a somewhat dangerous population. Unfortunately one of my clients is infatuated with me and it went from his confessing of it to him literally sitting in front of my door and following to my car.

Needless to say im scared. this is a site im doing training and not getting paid.
I love the rest of my clients but this dude is scaring me. I already talked to my supervisor and though they are taking precautions (having someone walk me to my car and telling the guy he cant talk to me anymore) I still feel uncomfortable

My supervisor tells me they cant tell him to stop coming to the center so I still have to see this guy when i go to work.

Im not sure what to do...if i should just continue going to the site or quit. My school supervisor tells me i should quit...but i hate to cut and run. Given my profession its likely ill run into something like this again and I would hate having to run every time it happens.....

I dont know what to do...this is so upsetting
__________________
"When somebody loves you, its not good unless he loves you...all the way"
4givrnt4gtr is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10th May 2010, 9:58 PM   #2
Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 40
OP - Have you told this guy flat out that you're not interested? Your post doesn't say whether or not you did.

Sometimes these feelings can be pretty strong and it's usually not until the lady says something about her not being interested that the guy usually (if he has half a brain) backs off.

From your post, it sounds like you've been playing the "I'm busy" card or just avoiding him. To someone with those kinds of feelings they typically may not get the hint right away. Sometimes it take someone telling them there's no chance ever to stop the situation. It may sound mean, but it is actually a direct way of saying that he should stop wasting his time.

It's better than calling the cops on someone that may have no idea that you don't like them.
ShadowBlue is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10th May 2010, 10:01 PM   #3
Established Member
 
4givrnt4gtr's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Posts: 1,252
Quote:
Originally Posted by ShadowBlue View Post
OP - Have you told this guy flat out that you're not interested? Your post doesn't say whether or not you did.

Sometimes these feelings can be pretty strong and it's usually not until the lady says something about her not being interested that the guy usually (if he has half a brain) backs off.

From your post, it sounds like you've been playing the "I'm busy" card or just avoiding him. To someone with those kinds of feelings they typically may not get the hint right away. Sometimes it take someone telling them there's no chance ever to stop the situation. It may sound mean, but it is actually a direct way of saying that he should stop wasting his time.

It's better than calling the cops on someone that may have no idea that you don't like them.
Oh no no I told him straight out in no uncertain terms. In fact not only did i say its never going to happen but I reiterated our professional relationship as therapist - patient.
Unfortunately he has a severe mental illness...which doesn't help my case at all.
4givrnt4gtr is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10th May 2010, 10:02 PM   #4
Established Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
Posts: 17,330
walk right up to him and state firmly and strongly that he either leaves and never comes back or you will file a restraining order the next time he's within a block of your vacinity.

i hope you don't drive directly home from there - he could follow you there too.
2sunny is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10th May 2010, 10:06 PM   #5
Established Member
 
4givrnt4gtr's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Posts: 1,252
Quote:
Originally Posted by 2sunny View Post
walk right up to him and state firmly and strongly that he either leaves and never comes back or you will file a restraining order the next time he's within a block of your vacinity.
I wish i could do that. I asked my supervisor to place him in another clinic....he said he couldn't do that. That is why im considering leaving, even though he isn't allowed to talk to me or sit in front of my office anymore he still allowed to be in one area of the clinic which unfortunately is right next to the restrooms...(as in i wont be able to go to the restroom anymore).

My supervisor did say that if he tried talking to me again they will call the police but quite frankly....ughhhh i dont even know
4givrnt4gtr is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10th May 2010, 10:10 PM   #6
Established Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
Posts: 17,330
Quote:
Originally Posted by 4givrnt4gtr View Post
I wish i could do that. I asked my supervisor to place him in another clinic....he said he couldn't do that. That is why im considering leaving, even though he isn't allowed to talk to me or sit in front of my office anymore he still allowed to be in one area of the clinic which unfortunately is right next to the restrooms...(as in i wont be able to go to the restroom anymore).

My supervisor did say that if he tried talking to me again they will call the police but quite frankly....ughhhh i dont even know
tell the supervisor that's ridiculous. how could they expect you to not use the restroom? they need to get firm and have your safety in mind first.

this seems terribly backwards - especially since you volunteer... do they not see that as valuable? it is! they need to act like it is.
2sunny is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11th May 2010, 12:59 PM   #7
Established Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 571
you have to self advocate and if necessary leave.
Peaceful Guy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11th May 2010, 4:17 PM   #8
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2010
Posts: 119
Quote:
Originally Posted by 4givrnt4gtr View Post
Very long story short I work with a somewhat dangerous population. Unfortunately one of my clients is infatuated with me and it went from his confessing of it to him literally sitting in front of my door and following to my car.

Needless to say im scared. this is a site im doing training and not getting paid.
I love the rest of my clients but this dude is scaring me. I already talked to my supervisor and though they are taking precautions (having someone walk me to my car and telling the guy he cant talk to me anymore) I still feel uncomfortable

My supervisor tells me they cant tell him to stop coming to the center so I still have to see this guy when i go to work.

Im not sure what to do...if i should just continue going to the site or quit. My school supervisor tells me i should quit...but i hate to cut and run. Given my profession its likely ill run into something like this again and I would hate having to run every time it happens.....

I dont know what to do...this is so upsetting

Yes, you should quite. If you don't feel safe, it's probably not safe. I hope he hasn't found out your address.
Cinnamon2000 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12th May 2010, 5:03 PM   #9
Established Member
 
4givrnt4gtr's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Posts: 1,252
Ok well, it all ended up with my school pulling me out of the site for my own safety... i guess i was right about leaving after all.

Thanks for all your inputs!
4givrnt4gtr is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12th May 2010, 6:16 PM   #10
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2010
Posts: 119
Quote:
Originally Posted by 4givrnt4gtr View Post
Ok well, it all ended up with my school pulling me out of the site for my own safety... i guess i was right about leaving after all.

Thanks for all your inputs!
Why was he targeting you? Did you flirt with him?
Cinnamon2000 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12th May 2010, 6:21 PM   #11
Established Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 571
Quote:
Originally Posted by 4givrnt4gtr View Post
Ok well, it all ended up with my school pulling me out of the site for my own safety... i guess i was right about leaving after all.

Thanks for all your inputs!
good! and don't let this discourage you from your work.. hopefully it never happens again but you were right to voice concern and im glad you'll be safe.
Peaceful Guy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 19th May 2010, 2:19 PM   #12
Established Member
 
Join Date: May 2010
Posts: 13,098
You can't reason with a mentally ill person. Let's hope he is too crazy to figure out how to find you again.
__________________
Nothing will change unless you do.
FitChick is offline   Reply With Quote
 

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

 

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
G/f has 2 stalker ex b/f's. What can I do? MissingMyHubby General Relationship Discussion 6 29th July 2008 6:10 PM
Stalker? KinAZ Dating 12 19th July 2008 2:17 PM
I'm a stalker imtrying Coping 26 12th January 2008 10:11 AM
Stalker or is it just me? LoveLace Dating 23 9th January 2008 1:44 PM

 

All times are GMT -4. The time now is 1:51 PM.

Please note: The suggestions and advice offered on this web site are opinions only and are not to be used in the place of professional psychological counseling or medical advice. If you or someone close to you is currently in crisis or in an emergency situation, contact your local law enforcement agency or emergency number.


Copyright © 1997-2013 LoveShack.org. All Rights Reserved.