When I'm bored at work, my mind drifts to negative thinking..

[dvsxx6]

Hey everyone,

When I'm bored at work [which happens quite often], I start thinking all of these negative thoughts about myself and then start to become extremely self conscious of what I say and look like to my co-workers. I notice that when I'm keeping busy I'm not as focused on myself so much. The thing is, there are days when I hardly have any work to do and so I end up surfing the web for hours on end, looking at superficial things [celebs, eating healthy, exercising]. I try not to look at those things, but I am always finding ways to improve myself. [iE, Right now I gave up smoking a month ago, gave up the TV 3 days ago, started exercising for 30 min-hour daily [started that 3 days ago], gave up junk food [started that 3 days ago], dropped a couple of bad influences [3 weeks ago], and am gona give up beer soon [this weekend]. I'm almost down to my ideal weight of 95 Lbs [i'm 106 now]. I am EXTREMELY proud of myself for even having the strength and courage to make all of these huge lifestyle changes. [btw, while surfing the web, I also look up informative things as well [CNN online, I read lots of various educational articles, etc] so I'm not viewing 100% completely superficial content.

 

The thing is, I have an unbelievably high self esteem, it's just that at work, I feel shy or uncomfortable and maybe it's because I feel like life is boring and routine. [this is my first time working a FT job and I'm used to going out more and partying, etc. I'm a college student so this is only a temporary situation ..til I graduate anyway]. I know that the solution is to keep busy, but I can't always do so [inadequate amount of work and quitting isn't an option]. Does anyone feel this way? Do you have a good/great self esteem yet when you get bored, your mind becomes negative? I've had a history of depression for 4-5 years but am overcoming it and it's a battle I feel that I'm winning.

 

I notice that I feel mentally drained while at work [when I'm not keeping busy] but then when I leave work it takes me a couple of minutes to 10 min to feel happy again. Sometimes after work, I mentally beat myself up for not knowing any better than to criticize myself [for NO reason at all!] or just cause I allow myself to think "oh I should have said this or that. I should be this way etc"]. [but then I stick up for myself saying, "I shouldn't have said anything. I did what I did and it's no big deal. I don't have to do anything or be a certain way, etc]. When I leave work, I have to sometimes force myself to get over that initial guilt of letting my negative thoughts ruminate in my head but I tell myself "the day is over, tomorrow's a new day. Today wasn't so bad. It could've been worse" kind of a deal.

 

I know that this seems all about nothing but this really is affecting me. Someone please help, any feedback would be greatly appreciated. Thank you!

 

PS. I'm also a lot younger than most of my co-workers here. I sometimes make conversation w/ some, and others, not at all. Some people I just say hi to and that's where it ends. Some others try to be personal but I just try to keep it professional. I try to make small talk w/ some and again, w/ some others, I don't. I don't HAVE to be super social even though that's how I am naturally when I'm out of the work environment. I just feel that I'm not being my true self at work which kind of makes me feel a liiitle crappy about myself. I have a little less than 2 weeks left working here til' I start school again. I kinda want to just be myself but I kinda don't. Maybe I'm just thinking too much? Ug. not again lol.

[quankanne]

maybe you're kind of stuck between two places: You're ready for school, but chronologically and physically you're at the job these next couple of weeks, so it feels weird. I do that when I've got a commitment one place and want to be home ... and it puts me in a funk (esp. when I'm gone for weeks on end).

 

my problem with work is that I'll either procrastinate by hanging out here, or I just can't focus because I'm either so bored or so tired!

[dvsxx6]

maybe you're kind of stuck between two places: You're ready for school, but chronologically and physically you're at the job these next couple of weeks, so it feels weird. I do that when I've got a commitment one place and want to be home ... and it puts me in a funk (esp. when I'm gone for weeks on end).

 

my problem with work is that I'll either procrastinate by hanging out here, or I just can't focus because I'm either so bored or so tired!

 

Hey thanks for your response. I feel the same way about being so bored that I can't think. It just sucks. Guess my solution would be to continually keep busy so that my ridiculous negative thoughts don't overpower me.

Can't wait to start school though. I can only party so much til it gets boring after awhile anyway. Thanks for your comment again :-)

[dvsxx6]

YOu should be happy you get paid to serf the net.

 

I never said that I wasn't "happy" with my job. I'm appreciative that my job SOMETIMES allows me to surf the web for hours on end. BUT, I DO have reoccuring negative thoughts that I can't seem to get a grip on when I'm bored at work [which occurs while I'm surfing the web].

 

By the way, it's "SURF" the web, not "SERF". You should learn to spell.

[Ronni_W]

, I DO have reoccuring negative thoughts ... [which occurs while I'm surfing the web].

Another possibility is that you are not feeling true to yourself during these times because you don't really like being someone who is taking away from your employer by doing personal stuff? -- maybe you would not have the same thoughts/feelings if you were doing self-improvement that was also related to your job? (time management, business communications, '6 thinking hats' brainstorming, etc.)

 

Congrats on all your other achievements, and good luck for the things you're currently working on. I had a thought about your goal weight, but then realized that you likely are working with a trainer/nutritionist, anyway, so all would then be good and healthy.

Also, good luck for the the coming school year .

[Mary3]

I am very concerned at your weight of 95 pounds . How tall are you ? The picture of your avatar you look undernourished. I too have had that problem before . Not trying to diagnose . ..........

[dvsxx6]

Mary3: I am very concerned at your weight of 95 pounds . How tall are you ? The picture of your avatar you look undernourished. I too have had that problem before . Not trying to diagnose . ..........

Lol. Ok, 1. that's not me in the picture, that's Nicole Richie. 2nd of all, I'm 105 Lbs, not 95. and I'm 5'1. 3. Yes I'm concerned about myself as well. Have you been reading my other posts, is that how you learned of my weight? Thanks for your concern though. I don't have an eating dis. I exercise about 4x a week and am trying to up my cals instead of restrict cals.

[dvsxx6]

LoL I just realized I wrote about my weight in this thread. I have several other threads I've been writing in about weight too~ Forgot I wrote about it in here lol.

[Kenyth]

It sounds like obsessive thinking.

 

Obsessive negative thoughts are an actual psychological problem that many people have at differing levels of severity. I had them myself. Obsessive thoughts are a nasty circular thought process that has to be unlearned. Understanding the process is instrumental to breaking the cycle, and it will require some mental discipline. These types of obsessions can lead to depression, so it's important to determine if you have a problem.

 

First off, you can't beat yourself up for errant thoughts. Most of the reason you currently have them is because of the obsessive process. Concentrating on the negative thoughts and developing anxiety about them is part of the obsession. In order to lose your obsession, you have to learn to simply let go of the errant thoughts. You can't tell yourself harshly not to think the negative thoughts. That kind of concentration cements them in your mind over and over.

 

If you tell yourself not to think of pink elephants, the first thing you think of is the pink elephant. In this sense it's ineffective to tell yourself over and over not to think a certain thought, because in order to berate yourself about it, you have to process the very thought you're trying to avoid. What you must do is simply let go the thought by blanking your mind, taking a deep breath, and calming down. Then, you can divert yourself to a more productive, constructive thought. At first, it's hard to do. Your mind seems to have a mind of it's own, so to say. It gets much much easier with practice. If you can do this, you will find relief.

 

Now, if your thoughts are a by-product of something else, like stress or unhappiness, you will have to address the feelings at the root of your problem.

[dvsxx6]

It sounds like obsessive thinking.

 

Obsessive negative thoughts are an actual psychological problem that many people have at differing levels of severity. I had them myself. Obsessive thoughts are a nasty circular thought process that has to be unlearned. Understanding the process is instrumental to breaking the cycle, and it will require some mental discipline. These types of obsessions can lead to depression, so it's important to determine if you have a problem.

 

First off, you can't beat yourself up for errant thoughts. Most of the reason you currently have them is because of the obsessive process. Concentrating on the negative thoughts and developing anxiety about them is part of the obsession. In order to lose your obsession, you have to learn to simply let go of the errant thoughts. You can't tell yourself harshly not to think the negative thoughts. That kind of concentration cements them in your mind over and over.

 

If you tell yourself not to think of pink elephants, the first thing you think of is the pink elephant. In this sense it's ineffective to tell yourself over and over not to think a certain thought, because in order to berate yourself about it, you have to process the very thought you're trying to avoid. What you must do is simply let go the thought by blanking your mind, taking a deep breath, and calming down. Then, you can divert yourself to a more productive, constructive thought. At first, it's hard to do. Your mind seems to have a mind of it's own, so to say. It gets much much easier with practice. If you can do this, you will find relief.

 

Now, if your thoughts are a by-product of something else, like stress or unhappiness, you will have to address the feelings at the root of your problem.

 

Kenyth,

Thank you so much for your thorough and very insightful response! I completely agree that I'd have to clear my mind and divert my thinking to other things [i.e. keeping busy INSTEAD of thinking "don't think of negative thoughts cause that = thinking negatively].

 

You're right. It does take practice. I've def got to practice it more. Thank you so much again! I really appreciate your great advice!

[Mary3]

But you said your * ideal weight * was 95 pounds. I used to ( and likely always will be anorexic ) to some degree when stress hits. Are you sure its okay to be 95 pounds . That puts you at size zero or 1.

[AmyKidders26]

Dont worry hun i have the same problem, doesnt matter what job im in as soon as i get bored (which could be a few days) the negative thoughts start knocking! I have a very creative mind and some people have said that it is my mind telling me to move on and reach for the job that will keep me thinking positive thoughts. I write books as a hobby but that is another story.

 

I havent found a way to stop this from happening, seems like everything comes flooding back. I wish so much that i could find something i was truely happy in as its beginning to get me in to messes. Such as being ill quite a bit and having days off, looking for other jobs and getting myself down that there is nothing out there.

 

Ark at me, lets talk about u shall we, lol.

. U need to have something else to do when u dont have a lot of work to do. I tend to start writing my stories or if u do have to look online then try looking at positive sights. Look at ur stars or soemthing.

 

Other than that i havent found anthing else so if u do find me. xx

Good luck sweetie