Miss J Cakes Posted December 17, 2007 Share Posted December 17, 2007 I have a strange situation going on at work right now. I have been working at my job for about 4 years now and in that entire time I have had a friendship with Joe. We could always talk about everything and always were friendly and slightly flirty to one another. For the most part, we kept it on a platonic, coworker level. Well recently things seem to have changed a bit. Our conversations have gotten more deep and personal. We talk about everything from our beliefs about things in life to sex. In fact one day last week, we had an encounter where there was much sexual energy involved and it was obvious that we were both interested in that. But, we still never touched each other other than him brushing up against me "accidentally" while I was bending over. I thought things were opening up very nicely for us. I was sure that any day we were gonna start something. But, something happened that seemed to have ruined everything. We work in a very immature environment and if you talk to someone for more than 2 minutes, you are sleeping with them. So all of a sudden there are rumors about us sleeping together flying all over the place. I was ready to just brush it off as immaturity and move on but he convinced me to report it to our supervisor. NOw our relationship is all weird. I want to know why he was so inclined to report things and why it bugged him so much. He even said people were just jealous. So what's up with his change. It was more than obvious that things were headed somewhere good for us. Now we barely speak. My question is why did this bother him so much and why are things weird now? Help please!! Link to post Share on other sites
EYECANDY000 Posted December 17, 2007 Share Posted December 17, 2007 The best thing to do is ask him. Im sure since you guys had already established an open friendship, then this shouldnt be a big issue to discuss. Its hard to say why he would be acting this way if he is the one who insisted that you report it to the supervisor Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted December 17, 2007 Share Posted December 17, 2007 Several questions come to mind: Are there non-fraternization rules within your company, where if you do get involved, you could potentially lose your job?Are either one of you married or elsewhere committed?Which one of you is further up the corporate food chain? Link to post Share on other sites
Citizen Erased Posted December 17, 2007 Share Posted December 17, 2007 This could affect both his and your careers. It may be innocent, but he doesn't want management to get the idea that it isn't. Fair enough IMO. Link to post Share on other sites
DarkBlue Posted December 17, 2007 Share Posted December 17, 2007 Are you a 100% sure there was something between you two in the first place? We tend to sometimes percieve things differently then how it actually happened cut and dry, if we are emotionally attached to someone. Take for instance that sexually charged convo you talk about? That might have just been him joking like he always does, but because you are attracted to him, it means more to you then it would to someone who is also just joking around. He might think that your just joking around too, and sees it as perfectly innocent... and it sounds like it is.. if you guys haven't been doing that accompanied with things you might have forgot to mention like longing stares, hugs, and kisses, little touches, exuses to hold each other, be physically close, ect. I mean..hmm.. It's hard for people to know when they've crossed over a line from innocent flirting to leading someone on.. but it doesn't sound like he's done anything to lead you on yet...and if the rumours started and he was like "Woah." and backs off, it might just be because he's aware now he's given the wrong impression (either to them or to you, or both). If your really sure that's not the case though, and you couldn't possibly be misreading his signals then... just asking him, like everyone else suggested is probably the next best thing. Things are already akward, so what have you got to lose at this point? He might have misunderstood somehow, and thought that you didn't like that sort of talk at all, because you didn't like him. Actually, how did he find about it so tha the suggested you report it to HR? Did you come to him saying you were pissed off about the rumours, or did he over hear it and come to you? Depending on how that whole scenario played out is more clues to what he thinks of it all. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts