Why Singles Ministries are failing - Too Meat Market-ish

[LookAtThisPOst]

Found this to be an interesting read via a trending "Singles Awareness Day" on Facebook. Apparently, there seems to be an issue with failing singles ministries in churches as it sounds like they are too focused on the social aspect instead of the Biblical aspect.

 

So its basically saying everyone is too selfish or focused too much on their singlehood to be involved in serving others. Even the singles ministries are enabling this and these groups are getting away from the Christian aspect which enables a meat market mentality.

 

A short, but interesting and brief read.

 

TFO | Blog | 3 Reasons Your Singles Ministry is Failing

[soleilesquire]

I found this to be true as well. Sadly, the focus of many singles ministries seems to be on finding a mate rather than serving God.

Edited February 14, 2016 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[sportygirl89]

Yes and certain people hang out with certain people! Not that I'm not pretty but if you aren't of a certain look you might as well not even be considered!

[TheFinalWord]

Found this to be an interesting read via a trending "Singles Awareness Day" on Facebook. Apparently, there seems to be an issue with failing singles ministries in churches as it sounds like they are too focused on the social aspect instead of the Biblical aspect.

 

So its basically saying everyone is too selfish or focused too much on their singlehood to be involved in serving others. Even the singles ministries are enabling this and these groups are getting away from the Christian aspect which enables a meat market mentality.

 

A short, but interesting and brief read.

 

TFO | Blog | 3 Reasons Your Singles Ministry is Failing

 

Interesting read, thanks for sharing.

 

I agree to some extent, but most of the singles groups I have been involved in, half the people were dating. Singles just meant umarried. But yes, a lot of people joined to meet other Christians to date. I personally don't think that's a problem. The main issue is it was 2:1 women to men in the groups. Half of the men were undesirable to the women, so men lost interest once they found they weren't going to get dates. The other issue is stop telling the singles that "ye must first be content with God's love while single, and then God will bring ye a spouse" The love of God and the love of a woman are not even comparable and anyone that's been single for any stretch of time knows that's true. But for some reason so many of these singles groups tried to convince members they are single because they have yet to reach perfect fulfillment in God as a single. Genesis 2:18 people

[BC1980]

I don't like the idea of singles groups in churches. They seem to divide people. A lot of singles don't want to be singled out (haha) as different and just want to be a normal part of the church. I go to a Sunday school class that is a decent mix of singles, divorced, and married. No one is looking to hook up, and everyone is there for the right reasons. I've enjoyed it much more than what a singles group could offer.

[soleilesquire]

Yes and certain people hang out with certain people! Not that I'm not pretty but if you aren't of a certain look you might as well not even be considered!

 

Actually, the purpose of a church ministry is to minister and grow spiritually, not to be picked by a man.

[LookAtThisPOst]

Interesting read, thanks for sharing.

 

I agree to some extent, but most of the singles groups I have been involved in, half the people were dating. Singles just meant umarried. But yes, a lot of people joined to meet other Christians to date. I personally don't think that's a problem. The main issue is it was 2:1 women to men in the groups. Half of the men were undesirable to the women, so men lost interest once they found they weren't going to get dates. The other issue is stop telling the singles that "ye must first be content with God's love while single, and then God will bring ye a spouse" The love of God and the love of a woman are not even comparable and anyone that's been single for any stretch of time knows that's true. But for some reason so many of these singles groups tried to convince members they are single because they have yet to reach perfect fulfillment in God as a single. Genesis 2:18 people

 

I have to laugh, because the big church in a large city near me has a singles ministry that decided to extend itself to using Meetup as another means to attract other members, <name of city Christian Singles Meetup>. I've seen tons of people join, but hardly any RSVP's occur. lol.

 

With Meetup groups, in general on the increase, there is indeed a mix of Christian and obviously secular types joining the Meetup, but it's kind of moot since the activity is quite minimal.

 

Before Meetup, singles groups still existed and as I recall I think you're about right on the more females to males. Funny story, a woman started a Christian Singles Meetup group , it was over right after it started. The first Meetup..it was ALL women and I was the ONLY man that showed up to restaurant event. LOL

 

I did try to ask one of the ladies out, but they had their excuses not to date.

 

Half of the men were undesirable to the women, so men lost interest once they found they weren't going to get dates.

 

Agreed! This seems to be representative of the whole 80/20 rule (80% of the women only pursuing 20% of the men) Tons of single ladies to ask out, but no man was good enough for a single date.

 

 

I heard of complaints how some socially awkward or just shy men would be approaching these women in fashion that they did not like...or they simply weren't attracted to the men approaching them and just called them "weird" or "socially awkward."

 

I recall this one lawyer woman that showed up to the Bible study and skipped out early for some reason. Later that weekend, I saw her in the church parking lot attending the service, but didn't set foot in the singles group again.

 

People tend to scan the room no matter what the event to see if there are people they are attracted to in attendance. It's pretty much all the same.

 

Some could put the blame the people attending as their agenda is on the shallow side.

Edited February 15, 2016 by LookAtThisPOst

[Aniela]

I found this to be true as well. Sadly, the focus of many singles ministries seems to be on finding a mate rather than serving God.

 

Isn't that the point, though?

[BC1980]

Isn't that the point, though?

 

I think it is, but I don't think they are advertised as such. Or maybe they are?

[TheFinalWord]

I have to laugh, because the big church in a large city near me has a singles ministry that decided to extend itself to using Meetup as another means to attract other members, <name of city Christian Singles Meetup>. I've seen tons of people join, but hardly any RSVP's occur. lol.

 

A lot of the larger churches use the seeker-friendly ministry route. It's not really my cup of tea, but a lot of my friends attend those type of churches.

 

I stopped the singles groups a while back because it always produced a weird vibe. Everyone was really there to look for a spouse. Of course no one wants to admit this because they want to come across as super spiritual (there is this myth that if you are close to God, you will not really desire a spouse; only once you are fulfilled in Christ will God send a spouse your way...its very similar to the cultural mantra when you aren't looking someone will show up).

 

I did try to ask one of the ladies out, but they had their excuses not to date.

 

You are getting at some of the general problems in the Christian dating scene. Men get very offended if a Christian woman says no, when they should be able to move on and just ask the next woman out. On the other side, a lot of Christian women have a mile long list of requirements that not even Jesus could fulfill.

[LookAtThisPOst]

A lot of the larger churches use the seeker-friendly ministry route. It's not really my cup of tea, but a lot of my friends attend those type of churches.

 

I stopped the singles groups a while back because it always produced a weird vibe. Everyone was really there to look for a spouse. Of course no one wants to admit this because they want to come across as super spiritual (there is this myth that if you are close to God, you will not really desire a spouse; only once you are fulfilled in Christ will God send a spouse your way...its very similar to the cultural mantra when you aren't looking someone will show up).

 

 

 

You are getting at some of the general problems in the Christian dating scene. Men get very offended if a Christian woman says no, when they should be able to move on and just ask the next woman out. On the other side, a lot of Christian women have a mile long list of requirements that not even Jesus could fulfill.

 

Right, typically they wind up dating outside of their church altogether. I recall a time where the men in the group would get irritated with men who would bring their "new" boyfriend to church with them...a dude they met in a bar or something.

[sportygirl89]

I thought the weird vibe was just me!. I was told maybe you aren't at the right church by other single girls. Part of me wonders if it was just to weed out competition.