Pissed at self

[wing81]

Not really sure how to start this thread off but I guess the best way to put it is that I am upset with myself. I'm starting to get feed up with being so shy all of the time and feeling that nothing I do really means that much. Things like graduated high school, getting my Eagle Scout, graduating College, and now working on my Masters don't seem to mean that much to me, they almost feel routine. I have always felt that I can do anything I want but half the time I am too scared to put 100% of myself into the things that I do. Maybe that is my excuse to protect myself from failure. If I don't give my all and fail then I can always say if I tried harder I may not have failed. I'm getting sick of sitting in the corner waiting for life to come to me. I know what I need to do but I can't make myself do it. I need to pull myself out of the rut that I feel that I have been in since second grade. Does anyone know how to overcome yourself and do what needs to be done, and stop thinking so much so you can just let yourself go?

[AndrewJ]

i know the outlook all to well!

 

 

afraid of success it seems is my problem

 

 

self flagulation perhaps

[Outcast]

Baby steps. Don't expect to change all at once. Pick one thing to try and do it. When you see that you lived through it, it will give you the courage to try another. And remember, making a fool of yourself is not the worst thing in the world. At worst, you might amuse a few people briefly but they'll forget you soon enough. You don't want to waste your life being scared so get out there and 'just do it'!

[pearlsasinger]

Originally posted by wing81

I'm getting sick of sitting in the corner waiting for life to come to me. I know what I need to do but I can't make myself do it.

 

"The truth is that our finest moments are most likely to occur when we

are feeling deeply uncomfortable, unhappy, or unfulfilled. For it is

only in such moments, propelled by our discomfort, that we are likely to

step out of our ruts and start searching for different ways or truer

answers."

 

~M. Scott Peck, M.D.

American Author and Psychiatrist

 

I thought you might appreciate this quote. I sometimes feel like you do. I expect a lot from myself but I'm so slow to take any action into getting where I want to be!

 

Deep down I don't really believe in myself enough. I don't trust myself to take risks. So I sort of procrastinate because I'm afraid of failure. I guess we're both kind of all-or-nothing perfectionists. We're afraid to put all our effort forward and see that things still do not turn out perfectly.

 

You said that you feel nothing you do really means much to you...maybe you need to discover a new passion. Something that you can look forward to every week: salsa lessons, cooking classes, pottery, kickboxing, a book club, sing in a community choir, photography. Volunteering. Volunteer docent at an art museum. Try something you wouldn't normally do to get out of the dreaded routine! It will build your confidence to try something new.

 

As Outcast suggested, focus on one goal at a time. It helps to actually write your goals down and look over them periodically, think about how you're going to accomplish them. (Lists in general remind me of what I want to do every week and make me feel really organized!) Know that you'll accomplish everything in time, so don't set unreasonable expectations for yourself. You might enjoy a book called "Don't Sweat the Small Stuff."

 

Most importantly give yourself the credit you deserve...stop beating yourself up over not being perfect! It sounds like you've accomplished a lot!