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How can I overcome social anxiety


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Old 30th September 2017, 12:49 AM   #1
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How can I overcome social anxiety

I'm a 24-year old guy who has been living with mental illness for most of his life (OCD, anorexia, and social anxiety). Because I'm quite anxious, it's been tough for me to make friends and be as social as I'd like, but I've made (at least some) effort to change.

I moved to Montreal about a month ago and I have been trying to work the nerve to go to a bar, as I feel that would be a fairly low-pressure setting: most people are already loose or ate too drunk to judge anyway. And also, Montreal is famous for its nightlife, so I figure if at least get to see what this city is famous for.

I scoped out a bar which has an excellent reputation and looks intriguing, but I can't go in. In fact, I've gone downtown the last two weeks and stood outside the bar like an idiot and can't force myself to go in, so I just leave. The thought of getting in line and having to talk to the bouncer and then go in with a bunch of strangers by myself is horrifying. And then I see all the gorgeous people going into and out of the bar and I think: "Why would I bother to go in there? These women are like supermodels and would never dream of talking to me. And even the guys look way too fun and interesting, they're not gonna be interested in talking to me. Hell, the bouncer will likely just laugh at me."

I feel like I'm wasting my time by going down there. I'll never have the nerve to go into a bar and I have no self-confidence at all. On the other hand, I'd love to be social or at least get to experience the great nightlife of this city, but I'm too anxious.

Any advice about overcoming anxiety?
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Old 30th September 2017, 8:55 AM   #2
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Fluoxetine + Clonazepam, and therapy.

Forget about overcoming social anxiety without those 3 things.
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Old 30th September 2017, 9:31 AM   #3
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As long as you are not driving, have a drink before you even go so that you calm down a little.
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Old 30th September 2017, 9:46 AM   #4
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Try to realize that everybody has social anxiety to some extent. Nobody wants to be singled out in a bad way & we're all afraid of making fools of ourselves.

Read some self help books about developing self confidence. Perhaps join a group like toastmasters. It's more about public speaking but it helps to give you confidence.

Consider therapy
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Old 30th September 2017, 10:22 AM   #5
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Quote:
Originally Posted by d0nnivain View Post
Try to realize that everybody has social anxiety to some extent. Nobody wants to be singled out in a bad way & we're all afraid of making fools of ourselves.

Read some self help books about developing self confidence. Perhaps join a group like toastmasters. It's more about public speaking but it helps to give you confidence.

Consider therapy
Good advice. I also like this quote that I have frequently (but poorly/not word-for-word) repeated to my socially anxious daughter:

You wouldn't worry so much about what others think of you if you realized how seldom they do.


― Eleanor Roosevelt
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