How do I stop sabotaging myself

[SpiralOut]

Can anyone recommend a good book for stopping self-sabotage? Do you think that it's related to self-esteem somehow, or is it a separate issue?

 

I mostly self-sabotage by procrastinating. When I'm not procrastinating, I will actually "forget" what it is I need to do. If I wrote it down somewhere, I will "forget" where I wrote it down. I can't fix my problem with willpower alone. I've tried and tried!! Help!!

[Chilli]

Little bit of dyslexia in there too forgetting your lists. That's what l do no matter what, l'm dyslexic.

For your list , put it somewhere you can't miss it.

l put mine ontop of the kettle seems as the first thing l do is make a coffee, even l can't miss it.

But sometimes when l take it off the kettle and just put it somewhere , then l miss it later, even if it's right beside it . Pain in the ass isn't it.

 

The sabotaging,l'm no skrink but l also actually do that subconsciously sometimes l've noticed , when l either don't really want to do whatever it is or l just can't be bothered.

My solution , face the music and just do it. And then it gets easier , bit by bit.

[Redhead14]

Can anyone recommend a good book for stopping self-sabotage? Do you think that it's related to self-esteem somehow, or is it a separate issue?

 

I mostly self-sabotage by procrastinating. When I'm not procrastinating, I will actually "forget" what it is I need to do. If I wrote it down somewhere, I will "forget" where I wrote it down. I can't fix my problem with willpower alone. I've tried and tried!! Help!!

 

I mostly self-sabotage by procrastinating. -- Unless this is a pervasive and frequent cause of problem in your relationships, it's more likely, that you simply aren't focused and are significantly and easily distracted. And, you are fully aware of what you are doing. Self-sabotaging behavior that is about sabotaging relationships and self-esteem, intimacy issues, is mostly an unconscious thing and a passive-aggressive way of dealing with a problematic relationship.

 

I think that recommending a book for you to read would not be useful to you because a) you will procrastinate on reading it and b) you will not be fully engaged in reading it and comprehending because you can't focus and are distracted and c) you'll forget where you put it (I'm kidding you about this one).

 

I can't fix my problem with willpower alone. -- You need to really, really think about why you're doing this -- are you doing it because you just don't want to do whatever it is you're forgetting about? Procrastination is about laziness most of the time. Forget about writing things down. Do them as soon as they need to be addressed. Get in the habit of doing what needs to be done as soon as you realize it needs doing. Stop saying I'll do it Xday, etc. If you really can't do it then, you make a note and you put it somewhere very prominent -- just do it!

 

You may need some kind of cognitive behavioral therapy. If you want real help, try that. And, if you're up there in age, like me , you may have to accept that senior moments happen . . .

Edited July 15, 2017 by Redhead14