BonerFide Posted February 7, 2016 Share Posted February 7, 2016 I'm stuck in such a funk right now. I'm not sure if it's because of my actual lifestyle, but I'm not sure what I could possibly be doing wrong. I go to the gym, I go to college, I have a job, a fair few friends and a decent social life... but I just feel like NOTHING is bringing me up. I never feel carefree, I never feel fully relaxed and honestly, even when I'm happy it doesn't consume me. It feels like I'm just stuck in a limbo waiting for my life to get better. I can't motivate myself to put 100% into anything and my passion for life and my surroundings has just gone. If I had to pinpoint a cause for this, I know I started to see the world in a way harsher light during the breakdown of my last relationship, but I am over that now... but I'm not getting any happier for myself. I just want to fast-forward to a time that I'm enjoying my life. I said this to a friend today who was shocked and replied "Don't wish your life away!" but it's not like I'm fully enjoying anything either. I have a holiday next week and a date at the weekend which I'm looking forward too but I want to break this spell. How do I start enjoying life again? I'm just not where I want to be at all and I don't know how to get there anymore considering I have fixed every obvious trigger for this I have seen. Thanks for reading! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
lchf Posted February 7, 2016 Share Posted February 7, 2016 What are you passionate about? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author BonerFide Posted February 7, 2016 Author Share Posted February 7, 2016 What are you passionate about? Usually writing, music, spending time with my friends... but I have the worst writer's block I've ever had (I never used to get it) and when I'm out now I'm always distracted and not enjoying the moment. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
lchf Posted February 7, 2016 Share Posted February 7, 2016 Bro life is only mildly enjoyable when you are doing the things you love to do. I was in your spot, and I've worked feverishly over the last 10 years to find the things I love to do, not even really just career-wise but things I can't stop thinking about and can't wait to get stuck into. For example, I've become a very keen sourdough baker, and found my avenue in strength-based sports, powerlifting, strongman etc. It never paid any bills but the long hard journey of becoming better at something is a very satisfying, worthwhile pursuit. I don't consider hanging with friends a "passion". It's something you do to pass time. Not every moment you walk outside will be memorable, but new experiences are, and I encourage you to seek them. I also played guitar for 10 years, and literally for a time, could not stop thinking about playing. The time I got to play was gold. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Satu Posted February 7, 2016 Share Posted February 7, 2016 (edited) Do things for other people. Volunteer or help with a charity. Get involved with something humanitarian. I guarantee you will find more happiness in your life if you do. I'm not saying for a minute that you are a selfish person, but helping others is a necessary part of life. We're not here just for ourselves. You are already doing some of this, but this is something I found on the web: "Evidence suggests there are five steps we can all take to improve our mental wellbeing. If you approach them with an open mind and try them out, you can judge the results yourself. Connect – connect with the people around you: your family, friends, colleagues and neighbours. Spend time developing these relationships. Learn more in Connect for mental wellbeing. Be active – you don't have to go to the gym. Take a walk, go cycling or play a game of football. Find the activity that you enjoy and make it a part of your life. Learn more in Get active for mental wellbeing. Keep learning – learning new skills can give you a sense of achievement and a new confidence. So why not sign up for that cooking course, start learning to play a musical instrument, or figure out how to fix your bike? Find out more in Learn for mental wellbeing. Give to others – even the smallest act can count, whether it's a smile, a thank you or a kind word. Larger acts, such as volunteering at your local community centre, can improve your mental wellbeing and help you build new social networks. Learn more in Give for mental wellbeing. Be mindful – be more aware of the present moment, including your feelings and thoughts, your body and the world around you. Some people call this awareness "mindfulness", and it can positively change the way you feel about life and how you approach challenges. Learn more in Mindfulness for mental wellbeing." Take care. Edited February 7, 2016 by Satu 3 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted February 7, 2016 Share Posted February 7, 2016 I've felt that way countless times, and the truth is it all comes down to you need to be proactive and create momentum in your life. When you're busy like that, you'd think life would throw something your way and sometimes it does, but most of the best rewards come from aggressively pursuing your goals or dreams, even if it's only in small ways. The universe seems to reward momentum. You have to show life which way you want to go to get the wind at your back. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author BonerFide Posted February 9, 2016 Author Share Posted February 9, 2016 Bro life is only mildly enjoyable when you are doing the things you love to do. I was in your spot, and I've worked feverishly over the last 10 years to find the things I love to do, not even really just career-wise but things I can't stop thinking about and can't wait to get stuck into. For example, I've become a very keen sourdough baker, and found my avenue in strength-based sports, powerlifting, strongman etc. It never paid any bills but the long hard journey of becoming better at something is a very satisfying, worthwhile pursuit. I don't consider hanging with friends a "passion". It's something you do to pass time. Not every moment you walk outside will be memorable, but new experiences are, and I encourage you to seek them. I also played guitar for 10 years, and literally for a time, could not stop thinking about playing. The time I got to play was gold. Hehe, thanks 'bro'. This was really inspiring to read, I'm so glad you've gone and done so much with your life, I think that's awesome. It makes me want to go out and find my passions and get stuck into them! It makes me want to eat sourdough... and hell, I've always been a ciabatta girl. Thanks so much for taking the time to write that out, it was more helpful than you know. I also hadn't thought about what you said about hanging out with friends... I guess you're right, though I enjoy socialising it isn't something that is independently fulfilling. Well, guess it's time for some introspection. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author BonerFide Posted February 9, 2016 Author Share Posted February 9, 2016 (edited) Do things for other people. continued... Thanks Satu, your insight is as valuable as ever I have done some charity work in the past, maybe it's something to look into getting back into. It sure is rewarding, I'll allow you that, even if it feels tedious at times. Take care yourself! Edited February 9, 2016 by BonerFide Long quote Link to post Share on other sites
Author BonerFide Posted February 9, 2016 Author Share Posted February 9, 2016 I've felt that way countless times, and the truth is it all comes down to you need to be proactive and create momentum in your life. When you're busy like that, you'd think life would throw something your way and sometimes it does, but most of the best rewards come from aggressively pursuing your goals or dreams, even if it's only in small ways. The universe seems to reward momentum. You have to show life which way you want to go to get the wind at your back. Right, that makes a lot of sense. I've had momentum enough to get in shape and get a job, but I need to be proactive in my own happiness as well as just productivity. I guess I need to listen to how certain things affect my mood and guide myself off of that. Thanks for your input! Link to post Share on other sites
lchf Posted February 10, 2016 Share Posted February 10, 2016 Hehe, thanks 'bro'. This was really inspiring to read, I'm so glad you've gone and done so much with your life, I think that's awesome. It makes me want to go out and find my passions and get stuck into them! It makes me want to eat sourdough... and hell, I've always been a ciabatta girl. Thanks so much for taking the time to write that out, it was more helpful than you know. I also hadn't thought about what you said about hanging out with friends... I guess you're right, though I enjoy socialising it isn't something that is independently fulfilling. Well, guess it's time for some introspection. oopsie, I guess I assumed you were a dude. In my opinion, there are a few things that have brought many people I know a lot of happiness because of their physical effects on the body and therefore the bioenergetic effect on the mind. Those include: learning about the body (learning how it moves, why it does what it does, fixing tension in the body through yoga, massage, stretching, etc, as well as how to make the body stronger.) By making the body stronger, you condition your mind, you become resistant to pain (moreso), you condition yourself to conquer new challenges, and improve your mental state by improving hormone release etc, endorphins and all that. Check Elliott Hulse on Youtube who deals a lot with all of this. Second is learning how best to fuel the body. That means, taking a keen interest in your food, how it's made etc. I love cultivating gardens, fermenting food, curing it, you name it. The awesome thing about that kind of thing is one it's very good for you, but it's like a project you work on, and it can be lifelong pursuits to hone, if you like. These are all just idea which may help you. They certainly helped me a lot. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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