Introspection.

[Mendalore]

Since my last relationship, I've done a lot of introspection. I've concluded a few different things. These things are primarily for my own benefit and satisfaction with life, but they may also be used to help be more attractive to others.

 

1) I need to get back into shape.

 

2) I need a passion.

 

3) I need to work on my confidence.

 

#1 is easy - I've already made a lot of progress in the past 2 months, alone. I'll probably be where I want to be by Christmas.

 

#2 isn't so easy. My "passions" in life are trying new things, making others (and by extension, myself) happy, and balance. The idea of a perfect weekend is going out to a hotel on a Friday night, luging on Saturday, all day, then relaxing Saturday night with some drinks, drive home on Sunday and just snooze and Netflix. This combines my yearning to try something new, my drive to water the grass wherever I go, and just decompress, mindlessly.

 

I get the feeling that I may get more fulfillment, and be more attractive if I, say, played a musical instrument more (I play trumpet and drummed with a ska band in the 00s), but I wouldn't really consider myself a musician as I only play a few times a year. Maybe if I took up some other REALLY deep hobby, like serial reading, a sport, or creating some form of art, I'd be able to get more fulfillment, but I really don't have the inner drive to do so.

 

I enjoy reading, but only kill maybe 2 books a year for pleasure (lots of business reading). As a result, I can't really "talk books." I enjoy sport, but it's more of an afterthought. I get out cycling, but it's more of a thing I *do* just to keep in shape. I ride for a couple charity events each year, that's fun, but again, not really a PASSION. I cook a lot and I get to be creative. I guess that can be an artform, but it's rare I get to share that with others. Maybe my roommates and friends every so often, but fneh. I also do AV projects and perform improv comedy, but that, as with the others, is only limited to 1-2x/year max.

 

You can see my dilemma with this one!

 

#3 is a toughie. I can walk around in some environments like I'm, well, put quite frankly, hot s#1t3, but I actually tend to be more confident in large groups rather than 1-on-1. I can get up and give a presentation in front of hundreds of people without batting an eyelash as long as I know the material. Trying to be provocative and confident among a small group I've just met is far more intimidating. To put it in dating perspective, I can approach a bridal party out at a bar and make them laugh, but the super attractive girl at Barnes and Noble is terror-inducing.

 

Any tips, suggestions, or otherwise? It'd be GREATLY appreciated!

Thanks in advance!

~M