Mike107 Posted May 23, 2015 Share Posted May 23, 2015 (edited) Hi im in desperate need in some help in my 5 1/2 year relationship, ill try and keep it short. Me and my fiance have been together since i was 16 and she was 14. Shes 20 now and im 22. About 2 years into the relationship i broke up with her. I didn't give her a real reason i simply said i dont want to be in a relationship n i think i don't love you, i know it was very harsh. But in all honesty i loved her to death and lust took control over me. An old first love contacted me we ended up dating for 6 months, until i broke it off with her because i knew i wanted to be back with my ex girlfriend that i crushed. Throughout those 6 months i still kept in contacted with in fact we worked in the same place. And shamefully we also had intercourse which i tried to stay away from bt i cared too much to deny her. So after tge 6 months we started hanging out like old times. Then one day the thing i did to her while i wasnt with her was eating me alive so i confessed. It destroyed her killed her, n it killed me to see someone i loved hurt because of my selfishness. Well time went by n she caccepted it bt i know deep inside bothered. I didnt wana right away ask her out to make her feel like a rebound so i waited 6 months to ask her out again which was in our anniversary day.. So fast foward about 7 months.. We were okay until one day she sent me a long message.. Saying she cant be with me i will find someone n make them happy n that she will always have me in her heart.. So one week passed by and i had lost 10 lbs and almost got fired from work. Then by the fourth day of the break up my mother said if u cant b without her n u want to b with her forever why dnt u ask her to b ur wife.. So i bought a ring ask for her parents approval they love me so they said yes.. We set up a plan to meet at a restaurant where i would come in and suprisd her with flowers and a letter then a ring i cried she cried and so did everyone else she said yes.. Before she broke up with keep in mind she had been going out alot and hanging out with ppl i dnt like.. So i felt excluded and feared that id loose her.. Soo 2 months after we got engaged i realize that she had been texting a girl that ive never seen her talk to.. It turned out to be a guy i was suspicious about, she denied they were anything n that they wernt talkin about nothing. Bt the. I see her commenting on his pic and sitting together on their senior school trip so i knew what was up bt i believed her because she denied it. Couple months go by and she tried takin a break i cried and pleaded that i would change my ways and that i wouldnt get mad at the things that she enjoys doing and that, (i am very controlling and have a bad temper)so after weved got engaged from then and now weve had talks that went really near to taking a break bt never happend because i cried and begged every time... Until last month... We had came home from a trip and i didnt like the back to reality thing so i was being very dry with her and not texting her as much also avoid seeing her for 3 days and my excuse was im studying.. (We spend almost every single day with each other and we are like bestfriends we know each other inside out i feel as one bt i guess she doesnt) so i text her saying this.. "How come you havent asked me if i was okay? Or even cone to see me?" So she texted back saying i just dnt have the energy.. Then she just exploded.. She went if sayying she wakes up and asks herslef what is she doing with her life and that everytime she does something she wants to do she feels guilty because in the back of her head she knows im at home mad.. (In our relationship prevented her from seeing friends i didn like because i thought they were a bad influence and would destroy us.. So what i did is i dropped all my friends so it can just be me and her) so that night she said she just wanted to be alone.. 2 days passed and i got very anxious so i popped up at her house with a letter apologizing.. She said she was tired from work and felt sick and she didn wana talk, she started crying and said that she just needs time to herself and wanted to be alone a break basically, so i felt dead inside because my life revolved around her, then she cried and said "i dnt know why i do this to the only person that cares for me" i left because i knew she was exhausted.. A week and a half went by and she said we can meet up to talk.. She said"initially i cane her to tell you that i cant do it anymore bt over the past few days ive been thinking and i know that not what i want, i do see myself in the future with you bt i need to find myself i dnt even have hobbies or anything, i dnt know who i am.." She said she loved me and that we would still see each other bt its been three weeks since that happend, also she mentioned that she feels like shes going through a midlife crisis..bt what concerned me is that she said that she is scared beacause she doesnt know how long it will take to find her self...And i havent seen her, she changed her profile picture and took off the engagement status off her profile and even made a new instagram and didn follow me... She has also been goin wild and drinking and goin out moreand hanging out with old friends i dnt like (which i would probably get mad about ). We have two bill accounts together which she has to contact me to pay them or not so she will text me and confirm the payment or tell me that she will give me the money.. Couple days ago she said this"i just wanted to say ive been wanting to talk to you bt i didn wana confuse you , bt i do miss you i just need to find yourself" ive been trying my best to keep strength and hope, i know i put her through alot but this is the women of my dreams and ive always made sure she always had what she needs bt she says she felt like she had a 3rd parent in this relationship.. So sorry for the long story bt theres just too many things to write i just summed it up as best as i could, please help me what should i do should i wait for her? Give her the time she deserves ? Contact her atleast once in a blue moon? Ask to meet up with her? I live her with all my heart and every day seems harder bt its been a month now, i need someones advice please i need my life back i have no one to hang out with and almost a empty home to come to where theres rarely anyone there.. Please help thanks Edited May 27, 2015 by a LoveShack.org Moderator added paragraphs, had to leave the messy grammar and sloppy text speak Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted May 26, 2015 Share Posted May 26, 2015 Me and my fiance have been together since i was 16 and she was 14. Shes 20 now and im 22. About 2 years into the relationship i broke up with her. I didnt give her a real reason i simply said i dnt wana b in a relationship n i think i dont love you, i know it was very harsh. But in all honesty i loved her to death and lust took control over me. Now it's her turn to think and see if she wants to spend the rest of her life with you. You both are young and not that experienced. People do A LOT of changing in their 20's to 30's. Give her the space and time she needs, make a 'date' in the calendar to meet up and talk to see where things are in a month or so. Link to post Share on other sites
CarrieT Posted May 26, 2015 Share Posted May 26, 2015 You both are young and not that experienced. People do A LOT of changing in their 20's to 30's. This, this a thousand times this. Give her the space and time she needs, make a 'date' in the calendar to meet up and talk to see where things are in a month or so. I would actually say, meet-up when you are both approaching 30. I am willing to bet that NEITHER of you really want each other anymore.... Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted May 26, 2015 Share Posted May 26, 2015 Your high school romance has run it's course. It's time for you to both move on. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mike107 Posted May 27, 2015 Author Share Posted May 27, 2015 This past sunday she sent me a message saying that she doea not want me lingering on because she knows it is not right and that she misses me bt she doesnt see herself coming back to the relationship anytime soon Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts