amyO Posted March 2, 2015 Share Posted March 2, 2015 I've always struggled with self-esteem and confidence. I've been this way for so long, I wonder if I'll ever find it within myself to be okay with who I am. I know that no one is 100% confident or always sure of themselves, but I would be grateful to just be happy and confident most of the time. I try to read uplifting quotes, I go to therapy and read books about confidence and so forth, but I still feel that it is all in my head. I worry a great deal about this and how it relates to every area of my life; work, general relationships, romantic relationships, going back to school in the future and so forth. It scares me that I might continue to be this way for a long time to come. It's hard for me to always feel comfortable with others and I guess one of the biggest things that is always on my mind is love. For someone that feels completely damaged, it's easy to want someone to fix you and make you whole. I know until I fix myself, I won't find a good person to be with. I'm terrified that I'll never feel good about myself and therefore, never meet the right person to be with. Link to post Share on other sites
CrystalShine2011 Posted March 2, 2015 Share Posted March 2, 2015 I'm sorry you're going through that...I have felt the same thing in the past. I may not have the best advice but what got me through it was staying busy. I started taking yoga and writing how I felt every day. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted March 3, 2015 Share Posted March 3, 2015 I cant tell you what you need to fix or how to fix what i dont know is broken..... i do know that as long as you strive to be better, to do better to take the hard knocks and get back up again and make that your task ...you always will be better...to have a never give up mentality takes hard knocks to recognise what you shouldnt be giving up on.....if you feel it strongly, then you keep going no matter how hard it gets..... if everything came easy....where is the challenge to better yourself.......you have to take each day as a challenge.....a challenge to do good, be good, find others and do goodness to them love is tricky.....because it blinds you.......entrances you .....makes you soft and in love with the world in general....i think keeping a little bit of rationality to your thinking and again ....hope that whatever you do ...you do with the very best of intentions...that is bettering yourself...if you have that simple goal in mind...everything i do .....i do with my whole heart and with the very best of intentions I honestly believe that love finds a person not the other way around.....i believe that god puts people in our lives for many reasons....one of them is to love..and be loved in return....when we listen to our hearts we hear whispers.....if you listen close enough...you can hear a still small voice that will guide you...to who you need ....who needs you and ultimately a peace in knowing you are exactly where you are in life and who you are meant to be is always a work in progress...gods work...i find peace in that.......i wish you well ...journey on....hugs to ya.....deb 3 Link to post Share on other sites
SpiralOut Posted March 3, 2015 Share Posted March 3, 2015 (edited) You can do it. It takes time, but you will get there if you keep putting in the effort. What helped me was acknowledging that being low in self-confidence is not as bad as I thought it was. Yes, it's unpleasant to deal with, and yes it can affect relationships, BUT it does not make you any less worthy of love. I also found yoga helpful and holding healing crystals and meditating on them (rose quartz is good for self-love). I found the TV series Dollhouse very helpful to watch because the main character has had her personality wiped clean and she must build herself up from scratch. I could identify with that. Edited March 3, 2015 by SpiralOut Link to post Share on other sites
thefooloftheyear Posted March 3, 2015 Share Posted March 3, 2015 (edited) First off...never let a stranger(the person one might meet and establish a relationship), be so high a priority in what defines you....A relationship is awesome when everything is right,...but you are still you...The fact that you have or dont have "love" in your life should not ever be all consuming... Find out what really motivates you.... Your passion;...For some, its work/career, maybe art, music, faith, volunteering, caring for wildlife or ecology...whatever...And become the best you can be at that... I love being creative and I have always taken great pride in my work.....I dont just "do" things, almost everything in my daily life is a creation...As a result, I have developed a very desirable name in my industry..Sometimes I Google my name or company name and find pages of people talking fondly of my work or maybe they are using items that I personally developed...That makes me feel good...Someone calling me from out of the country, thousands of miles away, because he read something about me and wants my opinion or recommendation...Thats what makes me a better person and I feel like I am not just a face in the crowd..Thats just an example.. Point is, everyone has something...Once you find it, embrace it and let that guide you in your daily life...Make it give you a purpose and your self confidence will absolutely soar...Sure, save some time for the frivolities of life as well, but try to be someone that others look up to or reach out to if they need...When you have this passion, then there winds up being a side benefit in terms of relationships... Those thoughts and self doubt wont consume you, as your mind wont have enough space for those thoughts...And, you become more desireable as a person to the opposite sex as you are a cut above others that dont have such passions... Its a win-win... TFY Edited March 3, 2015 by thefooloftheyear 3 Link to post Share on other sites
regine_phalange Posted March 5, 2015 Share Posted March 5, 2015 Others can't fix you, but you can watch them and learn even when you are not in a great place... They may watch you and learn also. After all I think love isn't a recipe. After all we're all so terribly flawed. I think a good start is to see yourself for who you are, flaws and all. Then start being more forgiving with others' flaws and mistakes (you don't need to keep them in your life, just see them as humans). And then be more forgiving with your own flaws and mistakes and find ways to tame them. It takes conscious effort and blunt honesty to ourselves. I'm also struggling these last years because I realised also how flawed I am. Good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
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