I became an Alpha Male and found the love of my life

[jzcjca00]

Once upon a time I was a nice guy, and it brought me a dozen failed relationships and LOTS of dry spells. So I decided to figure out why. I started reading various books on how to be an alpha male, and it completely changed my world. I finally found my my soul mate, we recently got engaged, and for the first time in my life, I KNOW I will be happily married forever.

 

All it took was a new personality.

 

It takes a while to truly understand what an alpha male actually is, and perhaps more important, what it is not. It has nothing to do with being a jerk. It's not being bossy or controlling. It doesn't mean you always get your way. (However, one side benefit is that you get all the sex you want.)

 

Here's my definition: an alpha male is a man who is engaged in life. He lives his day-to-day life actively and purposefully. He takes the effort to decide what he wants to do, and he proposes that plan to his woman. Amazingly, if you have found the right woman, she will go along enthusiastically and fall deeper in love each time.

 

Here's a sample conversation between a "nice guy" and his woman. Notice that the woman has to initiate the conversation:

Woman: What do you want to do for lunch?

Nice guy: Anything you want to do is fine with me.

The nice guy thinks he's winning brownie points by letting her decide, but the woman is irritated because he obviously doesn't care about her. He will not get laid tonight.

 

Here's a sample conversation between an alpha male and his woman.

Alpha male: We should grab some lunch. I've been thinking about tacos all morning. Do you want to go to Los Favoritas?

Woman: Sure, that sounds great!

The alpha male just scored huge points for being engaged in life. Now he owns her. She is his play toy for the rest of the day. Seriously, it's that simple.

 

Being an alpha male is not easy. You constantly have to be thinking and planning ahead. It can be exhausting, and you CANNOT take a break. You need a plan for dinner (what restaurant, or what she should cook), exercise, evening entertainment (even if it's just snuggling on the couch and watching the TV show you pick), the weekend, vacations, and so on.

 

You MUST consider her needs, limitations, wants, likes, and dislikes in every decision. If she hates Mexican food, you might need to find a restaurant that has good Mexican dishes for you and good American food for her. You must choose something that makes you both happy. If you hate it, you've reverted to a nice guy. If she hates it, you've become a jerk. Neither one is an alpha male. So you not only have to make all the decisions, you have to make them correctly.

 

And there are other things. You have to take care of her. You drive. You hold the door. You hold the tickets. You make sure she's warm enough. If she loses her keys, you help her find them. Her well-being is your responsibility.

 

It's a lot of work, but it's totally worth it because she is always happy and will do practically anything to make you happy.

[DuchessKaye]

Congratulations!

[wmrjw82]

horse hockey... a woman will still find a way to complain and say you dont care.

[Green Light]

Once upon a time I was a nice guy, and it brought me a dozen failed relationships and LOTS of dry spells. So I decided to figure out why. I started reading various books on how to be an alpha male, and it completely changed my world. I finally found my my soul mate, we recently got engaged, and for the first time in my life, I KNOW I will be happily married forever.

 

All it took was a new personality.

 

It takes a while to truly understand what an alpha male actually is, and perhaps more important, what it is not. It has nothing to do with being a jerk. It's not being bossy or controlling. It doesn't mean you always get your way. (However, one side benefit is that you get all the sex you want.)

 

Here's my definition: an alpha male is a man who is engaged in life. He lives his day-to-day life actively and purposefully. He takes the effort to decide what he wants to do, and he proposes that plan to his woman. Amazingly, if you have found the right woman, she will go along enthusiastically and fall deeper in love each time.

 

Here's a sample conversation between a "nice guy" and his woman. Notice that the woman has to initiate the conversation:

Woman: What do you want to do for lunch?

Nice guy: Anything you want to do is fine with me.

The nice guy thinks he's winning brownie points by letting her decide, but the woman is irritated because he obviously doesn't care about her. He will not get laid tonight.

 

Here's a sample conversation between an alpha male and his woman.

Alpha male: We should grab some lunch. I've been thinking about tacos all morning. Do you want to go to Los Favoritas?

Woman: Sure, that sounds great!

The alpha male just scored huge points for being engaged in life. Now he owns her. She is his play toy for the rest of the day. Seriously, it's that simple.

 

Being an alpha male is not easy. You constantly have to be thinking and planning ahead. It can be exhausting, and you CANNOT take a break. You need a plan for dinner (what restaurant, or what she should cook), exercise, evening entertainment (even if it's just snuggling on the couch and watching the TV show you pick), the weekend, vacations, and so on.

 

You MUST consider her needs, limitations, wants, likes, and dislikes in every decision. If she hates Mexican food, you might need to find a restaurant that has good Mexican dishes for you and good American food for her. You must choose something that makes you both happy. If you hate it, you've reverted to a nice guy. If she hates it, you've become a jerk. Neither one is an alpha male. So you not only have to make all the decisions, you have to make them correctly.

 

And there are other things. You have to take care of her. You drive. You hold the door. You hold the tickets. You make sure she's warm enough. If she loses her keys, you help her find them. Her well-being is your responsibility.

 

It's a lot of work, but it's totally worth it because she is always happy and will do practically anything to make you happy.

 

 

This Alpha Male stuff will only work with a woman who let's it work. In other words she has to play along. Many of the women I have met over the years like the alpha male stuff on a biological/sexual level but not so much on a psychological level. In many cases society's demands that a woman be independent and a decision maker trumps the biological urge for an alpha male. "Submitting" to the decisions of the alpha male requires that a woman "let go" and trust I don't think that many modern women are ready for that.

This is why we see the pattern of women going for the "bad boy" when they are young(pseudo Alpha Male) and then finding Mr. Reliable attractive when it's time to settle down. Then some find Mr. Reliable to be too weak and boring so they leave the marriage to find another "alpha male." Happens all the time. Go over to the break up and divorce sections of this website to see real life examples of this.

[Radu]

This Alpha Male stuff will only work with a woman who let's it work. In other words she has to play along. Many of the women I have met over the years like the alpha male stuff on a biological/sexual level but not so much on a psychological level. In many cases society's demands that a woman be independent and a decision maker trumps the biological urge for an alpha male. "Submitting" to the decisions of the alpha male requires that a woman "let go" and trust I don't think that many modern women are ready for that.

This is why we see the pattern of women going for the "bad boy" when they are young(pseudo Alpha Male) and then finding Mr. Reliable attractive when it's time to settle down. Then some find Mr. Reliable to be too weak and boring so they leave the marriage to find another "alpha male." Happens all the time. Go over to the break up and divorce sections of this website to see real life examples of this.

 

Very well said, but keep in mind that for some ppl no matter what you do you won't make it work because there is nothing wrong with you. It is in them, they are broken.

This is where good boundaries come into place, something the OP has neglected to mention and which also shows if you are an 'alpha' male or a beta, if she can walk all over you like a 'welcome' mat or not.

If they break the boundaries you setup, you walk.

If they don't break the boundaries you stay.

 

Anything in between is a slow agonizing death of your ego and well-being.

[wilsonx]

That's a very good action plan on being an alpha male. Keep working at it and fine tuning it and you will get it right. One day it will click and it just happens.

 

Here are some traits you should look into for long term success in life.

 

• Self-worth
  
• Self-love
  
• Self-respect
  
• Boundaries
  
• Not being desperate
  
• Not settling
  

There is nothing wrong with "Being You" though. Everyone is different. Someone will eventually like you for being you and you will like them for being them. The pieces will "JUST FIT" Dont ever change who you are for someone else.

[Ross MwcFan]

Once upon a time I was a nice guy, and it brought me a dozen failed relationships and LOTS of dry spells. So I decided to figure out why. I started reading various books on how to be an alpha male, and it completely changed my world. I finally found my my soul mate, we recently got engaged, and for the first time in my life, I KNOW I will be happily married forever.

 

All it took was a new personality.

 

It takes a while to truly understand what an alpha male actually is, and perhaps more important, what it is not. It has nothing to do with being a jerk. It's not being bossy or controlling. It doesn't mean you always get your way. (However, one side benefit is that you get all the sex you want.)

 

Here's my definition: an alpha male is a man who is engaged in life. He lives his day-to-day life actively and purposefully. He takes the effort to decide what he wants to do, and he proposes that plan to his woman. Amazingly, if you have found the right woman, she will go along enthusiastically and fall deeper in love each time.

 

Here's a sample conversation between a "nice guy" and his woman. Notice that the woman has to initiate the conversation:

Woman: What do you want to do for lunch?

Nice guy: Anything you want to do is fine with me.

The nice guy thinks he's winning brownie points by letting her decide, but the woman is irritated because he obviously doesn't care about her. He will not get laid tonight.

 

Here's a sample conversation between an alpha male and his woman.

Alpha male: We should grab some lunch. I've been thinking about tacos all morning. Do you want to go to Los Favoritas?

Woman: Sure, that sounds great!

The alpha male just scored huge points for being engaged in life. Now he owns her. She is his play toy for the rest of the day. Seriously, it's that simple.

 

Being an alpha male is not easy. You constantly have to be thinking and planning ahead. It can be exhausting, and you CANNOT take a break. You need a plan for dinner (what restaurant, or what she should cook), exercise, evening entertainment (even if it's just snuggling on the couch and watching the TV show you pick), the weekend, vacations, and so on.

 

You MUST consider her needs, limitations, wants, likes, and dislikes in every decision. If she hates Mexican food, you might need to find a restaurant that has good Mexican dishes for you and good American food for her. You must choose something that makes you both happy. If you hate it, you've reverted to a nice guy. If she hates it, you've become a jerk. Neither one is an alpha male. So you not only have to make all the decisions, you have to make them correctly.

 

And there are other things. You have to take care of her. You drive. You hold the door. You hold the tickets. You make sure she's warm enough. If she loses her keys, you help her find them. Her well-being is your responsibility.

 

It's a lot of work, but it's totally worth it because she is always happy and will do practically anything to make you happy.

 

The two things that I've bolded sound like nice guy behaviours to me.

 

But yeah, apart from that, from what you've written, being an alpha male sounds like way too much hard work to me. And for what, to carry on being in some Goddess's good books?

Edited May 17, 2012 by Ross MwcFan

[Taramere]

The two things that I've bolded sound like nice guy behaviours to me.

 

But yeah, apart from that, from what you've written, being an alpha male sounds like way too much hard work to me. And for what, to carry on being in some Goddess's good books?

 

Chivalry demonstrates confidence. If you're comfortable treating other people with respect and courtesy, it creates the sense of you having respect for yourself too.

 

If making or receiving a polite/chivalrous gesture feels awkward for a person then that's most likely because they are awkward or clumsy generally. It's not the polite gesture's fault...but if you believe that polite/chivalrous gesture makes you foolish or subservient, then you already feel those things deep down.

 

Steering clear of making any chivalrous gestures towards women won't change that.

[Ross MwcFan]

Chivalry demonstrates confidence. If you're comfortable treating other people with respect and courtesy, it creates the sense of you having respect for yourself too.

 

If making or receiving a polite/chivalrous gesture feels awkward for a person then that's most likely because they are awkward or clumsy generally. It's not the polite gesture's fault...but if you believe that polite/chivalrous gesture makes you foolish or subservient, then you already feel those things deep down.

 

Steering clear of making any chivalrous gestures towards women won't change that.

 

When he was talking about opening doors, I think he means things like opening the car door for her to get out, or running in front of her to open a door that she's about to walk through (most people don't do that and it is considered OTT).

 

I doubt he would've ment holding a door open for her if she is following behind you, as that's something that pretty much everyone does for 'anyone' anyway. If you didn't do that, then the door would just slam back in their face.

 

And I don't think there is anything wrong with helping someone find something, but I was thinking of someone 'always' being quick to help her whenever she loses something or whatever.

 

To me, these two things are both nice guy behaviours. And I don't think a woman would appreciate always being made to feel helpless.

Edited May 17, 2012 by Ross MwcFan

[beyond]

Once upon a time I was a nice guy, and it brought me a dozen failed relationships and LOTS of dry spells. So I decided to figure out why. I started reading various books on how to be an alpha male, and it completely changed my world. I finally found my my soul mate, we recently got engaged, and for the first time in my life, I KNOW I will be happily married forever.

 

All it took was a new personality.

 

It takes a while to truly understand what an alpha male actually is, and perhaps more important, what it is not. It has nothing to do with being a jerk. It's not being bossy or controlling. It doesn't mean you always get your way. (However, one side benefit is that you get all the sex you want.)

 

Here's my definition: an alpha male is a man who is engaged in life. He lives his day-to-day life actively and purposefully. He takes the effort to decide what he wants to do, and he proposes that plan to his woman. Amazingly, if you have found the right woman, she will go along enthusiastically and fall deeper in love each time.

 

Here's a sample conversation between a "nice guy" and his woman. Notice that the woman has to initiate the conversation:

Woman: What do you want to do for lunch?

Nice guy: Anything you want to do is fine with me.

The nice guy thinks he's winning brownie points by letting her decide, but the woman is irritated because he obviously doesn't care about her. He will not get laid tonight.

 

Here's a sample conversation between an alpha male and his woman.

Alpha male: We should grab some lunch. I've been thinking about tacos all morning. Do you want to go to Los Favoritas?

Woman: Sure, that sounds great!

The alpha male just scored huge points for being engaged in life. Now he owns her. She is his play toy for the rest of the day. Seriously, it's that simple.

 

Being an alpha male is not easy. You constantly have to be thinking and planning ahead. It can be exhausting, and you CANNOT take a break. You need a plan for dinner (what restaurant, or what she should cook), exercise, evening entertainment (even if it's just snuggling on the couch and watching the TV show you pick), the weekend, vacations, and so on.

 

You MUST consider her needs, limitations, wants, likes, and dislikes in every decision. If she hates Mexican food, you might need to find a restaurant that has good Mexican dishes for you and good American food for her. You must choose something that makes you both happy. If you hate it, you've reverted to a nice guy. If she hates it, you've become a jerk. Neither one is an alpha male. So you not only have to make all the decisions, you have to make them correctly.

 

And there are other things. You have to take care of her. You drive. You hold the door. You hold the tickets. You make sure she's warm enough. If she loses her keys, you help her find them. Her well-being is your responsibility.

 

It's a lot of work, but it's totally worth it because she is always happy and will do practically anything to make you happy.

 

As a woman, I can tell you I would seriously love a man to act like this and would respond accordingly.

 

I know it goes against everything we are 'supposed' to do and very un 'pc', but if I'm really honest with myself, dig down beneath my 'independant' exterior and I would really like a man who is dominant and yet respectful.

 

As you say, it is NOT about being bossy and controlling.

 

Good luck to you and your future wife

[pillowcase]

Congrats dude, you read 'The Game'!

 

[Almond_Joy]

Chivalry demonstrates confidence. If you're comfortable treating other people with respect and courtesy, it creates the sense of you having respect for yourself too.

 

 

Really interesting perspective, never thought of chivalry that way but it makes total sense. Awesome .

[wheream_i]

Now he owns her. She is his play toy for the rest of the day. Seriously, it's that simple.

 

Being an alpha male is not easy. You constantly have to be thinking and planning ahead. It can be exhausting, and you CANNOT take a break.

 

It's a lot of work, but it's totally worth it because she is always happy and will do practically anything to make you happy.

 

I agree with a lot of what you said. However, I also disagree with a few things that I've quoted here. First, it's not so much about "owning" her as much as it is about establishing dominance. In certain situations, I have come across women who want that role of being owned and that's another step past being an alpha male and into being a "Daddy" or a "Father Figure" to her. That's a lot of fun to exlore but that's also way past what we're discussing here.

 

Also, it's not a lot of work nor is it exhausting if that just happens to be the personality type you naturally are.

[Eddie Edirol]

Also, it's not a lot of work nor is it exhausting if that just happens to be the personality type you naturally are.

 

 

Actually, it isnt alot of work once you get used to it. It just gets ingrained in you to think ahead, I know it isnt exhausting to me, and i used to be the beta male. Once you see the results, theres no going back really.

[wheream_i]

As a woman, I can tell you I would seriously love a man to act like this and would respond accordingly.

 

I know it goes against everything we are 'supposed' to do and very un 'pc', but if I'm really honest with myself, dig down beneath my 'independant' exterior and I would really like a man who is dominant and yet respectful.

 

As you say, it is NOT about being bossy and controlling.

 

Good luck to you and your future wife

 

And there you go. Thank you for chiming in, Beyond. The older I've gotten, the more types of women I encountered across the board, there's seems to be one continuous theme running and it is this type right here that Beyond has demonstrated. I don't consider it un-PC at all. Several women I've dated have all exhibited a sort of submissive nature once the relationship was established. I have questioned them as to what is it that lies beneath all that, that you want this in a man. The majority have said that they are so independent in their personal & professional lives, that in a very deep but prominent part of their being they needed someone assertive who calls the shots. In one woman's words: someone to be obedient to. It's a very interesting premise because, like Beyond stated, in this day & age, women are taught that it's wrong. But in my experience, they welcome it without the feeling of being controlled in the negative sense. Also, let me state that I am in my early 30's and these are not women younger than me as I am not attracted to women in their early 20's. These are women in from the mid-30's to mid-40's.

 

I wanted to throw the age factor in there to show that I am not the type that goes for young, impressionable girls that need attention. But grown, established adult women.

Edited May 17, 2012 by wheream_i

[beyond]

And there you go. Thank you for chiming in, Beyond. The older I've gotten, the more types of women I encountered across the board, there's seems to be one continuous theme running and it is this type right here that Beyond has demonstrated. I don't consider it un-PC at all. Several women I've dated have all exhibited a sort of submissive nature once the relationship was established. I have questioned them as to what is it that lies beneath all that, that you want this in a man. The majority have said that they are so independent in their personal & professional lives, that in a very deep but prominent part of their being they needed someone assertive who calls the shots. In one woman's words: someone to be obedient to. It's a very interesting premise because, like Beyond stated, in this day & age, women are taught that it's wrong. But in my experience, they welcome it without the feeling of being controlled in the negative sense. Also, let me state that I am in my early 30's and these are not women younger than me as I am not attracted to women in their early 20's. These are women in from the mid-30's to mid-40's.

 

I wanted to throw the age factor in there to show that I am not the type that goes for young, impressionable girls that need attention. But grown, established adult women.

 

It's hard to put into words but for me it is about trusting someone and feeling 'safe' enough to give yourself up to them. This doesn't mean i'm a 'pushover' - far from it.

[wheream_i]

This doesn't mean i'm a 'pushover' - far from it.

 

Not what I thought at all.

[beyond]

Not what I thought at all.

 

Good! .....

[Forever Learning]

This is a great thread and the OP gave a huge amount of wisdom in his initial post. Thank you! I enjoyed reading it and learned alot.

 

Regarding Ross's comments about opening doors.

 

I live in the southern United States (Texas), and 95% of the time, a man who is a total stranger, will open the door for me when I go into a gas station or convenience store, if we both get to the door at about the same time, or him just a hair quicker to the door than me.

 

This man, who is a total stranger, will open it and hold it open, and let me walk in the door first. He doesn't just hold it open so it doesn't slam on my face or whatever.

 

I am 42 years old and well mannered (and have a positive, grateful attitude as well), and I ALWAYS thank them for doing so, with a big smile on my face as well as full eye contact. They almost always say "Yes Ma'am" or "You're welcome". Rarely are they silent but sometimes they nod with a smile. I'm not making this up. This is common behaviour here in Houston.

 

I am also fairly attractive. I'm not a super model though. I don't know if these total strangers would always do the same for an ugly woman, but I believe in general they do, because I have witnessed it on many occasions, doors being held open for obese women, raggedy dressed sloppy women, women of different races, etc etc. I know for sure, for an average woman who appears fairly pleasant, the door will be opened.

 

This is also very true across the board for all the races of men, and all age groups. It might not be always true for some of the real young guys who are gangster looking and all caught up in their cell phones calls or appear to have a real attitude.

 

I noticed it is definitely true for Hispanic men, especially those who look like day laborers who were born in Mexico. They are especially respectful and polite (by and large) to a woman by holding the door open. That seems to be common in their culture.

 

This could be a southern thing, I am sure it is quite common across the southern United States.

 

My ex husband was a jerk. He never held open doors for me, and never opened a car door. I have since encountered several men who, when on dates and such, always opened my car door and the restaurant door.

 

I can tell you Ross, this impresses me. I much prefer it to my ex (jerk) husband who never did that for me, even on our first date. I think alot of a man who opens and closes the car door for me. It is a respectful gesture and I don't equate it with him being a nice guy or a pushover.

 

It just makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside, and it makes me like him more.

 

So Ross, my advice to you, is to drop the mentality of not opening doors, and to start holding open every door you find for whatever woman comes your way! You never know, it might lead to striking up a conversation with someone. You never can tell sometimes.

 

Back to the OP's original post about Alpha Males. Good stuff! My problem was that in my 20's, I mistook "jerk" behavior (my ex) for "Alpha behavior".

 

I know better now. Learned such a long, hard lesson on all that. Lesson of my life I guess.

 

But anywhoo, - there is a HUGE difference between Alpha behavior and Jerk behavior. Jerk behavior is abusive. Alpha behavior will help you find and keep a girl, and stay in a happy, loving relationship. It's just the bottom line in the animal kingdom, of which we are a part of. Cheers!

[Ruby Slippers]

This Alpha Male stuff will only work with a woman who let's it work. In other words she has to play along. Many of the women I have met over the years like the alpha male stuff on a biological/sexual level but not so much on a psychological level. In many cases society's demands that a woman be independent and a decision maker trumps the biological urge for an alpha male. "Submitting" to the decisions of the alpha male requires that a woman "let go" and trust I don't think that many modern women are ready for that.

I disagree. As the owner of a business that relies on my powers of persuasion and influence for its survival, I am quite alpha in my career. But for a romantic relationship, at the very least, I need a man who is as assertive and proactive as I am - and I would prefer that he go a step beyond and take the lead more than half the time.

 

Most women who resist being led by a man resist because the man is not a good leader. You need to trust that he knows what he's doing and can take care of things. He doesn't have to be perfect, or always on, but he needs to make the effort pretty consistently to "steer the ship".

 

Again, as a business owner, I'm a pretty good leader to the people who work for me (and I still have a LOT to learn). For the most part, they will do whatever I ask of them and go beyond the call of duty, then thank ME for giving them the opportunity to shine.

 

I don't want to be with a guy who just does whatever I want and doesn't have his own identity and desires. I want to be with a man who knows what he wants, cares about what I want, and finds ways for both of us to have a good time in a harmonious way.

[NYC-BigKat]

you'd of thought it would but no. i've gotten angry glances from women multiple times in downtown houston. i might expect that in nyc but houston. why hold the door if it leads to angry glaces.

 

Yea its pretty bad in NYC. The girls always look mad & I dont know why. I never do anything bad to them. I be nice & stuff but they still look mad. If I give them compliments some might smile sorta but no number though .

[The Tallest One]

last gf was very headstrong and independant. Very successful and was a boss at her job. In our relationship, she wanted me to call all the shots, in and out of the sack. She loved being dominated sexually and being totally submissive. She would often say " I don't want you to make love to me, I want you to (rhymes with duck) me! She liked it hard and rough most of the time.

 

She also liked that I was very thoughtful and considerate and opened the car door for her and all that kind of chivalry. There is a lot to be said about being the alphamale, cause I've learned the hard way that in my experience, most women like the alpha male over the sensitive nice guy!

[KungFuJoe]

Sorry. Not buying it. You can't change who you are.

 

Glad you found happiness op. But how long can you keep up the charade? You already said it's hard work. What happens when you tire out and the REAL you comes out?

 

You wonder why so many people complain that the person they married isn't the person they met or once knew? Now you know why.

 

Too many people on this planet to have to fake being someone else. I'm as happy as can be with my wife of ten years and I never ONCE sacrificed who I was to get her...and the same for her. We look at each other and we see the exact same two people we fell in love with from the very beginning.

 

Now don't get me wrong. I know that people should always strive to better themselves...but you have to draw the line somewhere and from the op's original post, it sounds like his changes are pretty drastic from what he is naturally inclined to do or be. Like an introvert trying to be an extrovert. Not gonna happen. Just find someone who loves you for YOU.

[2sure]

It's called being a gentleman.

If you aren't sincere and just going through the motions...it will still work temporarily . You will get laid by someone going through the motions of being a quality woman. But in the morning you both wake up who you are.

 

If you are sincere, you'll actually have a great chance of being with some truly wonderful women.

 

It's the difference.

[yongyong]

I am pretty sure you have things called 'hands'

 

I am also pretty sure you claim yourself as an independent woman.

 

If you call yourself as 'submissive woman' then I will agree to your post.

 

 

 

This is a great thread and the OP gave a huge amount of wisdom in his initial post. Thank you! I enjoyed reading it and learned alot.

 

Regarding Ross's comments about opening doors.

 

I live in the southern United States (Texas), and 95% of the time, a man who is a total stranger, will open the door for me when I go into a gas station or convenience store, if we both get to the door at about the same time, or him just a hair quicker to the door than me.

 

This man, who is a total stranger, will open it and hold it open, and let me walk in the door first. He doesn't just hold it open so it doesn't slam on my face or whatever.

 

I am 42 years old and well mannered (and have a positive, grateful attitude as well), and I ALWAYS thank them for doing so, with a big smile on my face as well as full eye contact. They almost always say "Yes Ma'am" or "You're welcome". Rarely are they silent but sometimes they nod with a smile. I'm not making this up. This is common behaviour here in Houston.

 

I am also fairly attractive. I'm not a super model though. I don't know if these total strangers would always do the same for an ugly woman, but I believe in general they do, because I have witnessed it on many occasions, doors being held open for obese women, raggedy dressed sloppy women, women of different races, etc etc. I know for sure, for an average woman who appears fairly pleasant, the door will be opened.

 

This is also very true across the board for all the races of men, and all age groups. It might not be always true for some of the real young guys who are gangster looking and all caught up in their cell phones calls or appear to have a real attitude.

 

I noticed it is definitely true for Hispanic men, especially those who look like day laborers who were born in Mexico. They are especially respectful and polite (by and large) to a woman by holding the door open. That seems to be common in their culture.

 

This could be a southern thing, I am sure it is quite common across the southern United States.

 

My ex husband was a jerk. He never held open doors for me, and never opened a car door. I have since encountered several men who, when on dates and such, always opened my car door and the restaurant door.

 

I can tell you Ross, this impresses me. I much prefer it to my ex (jerk) husband who never did that for me, even on our first date. I think alot of a man who opens and closes the car door for me. It is a respectful gesture and I don't equate it with him being a nice guy or a pushover.

 

It just makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside, and it makes me like him more.

 

So Ross, my advice to you, is to drop the mentality of not opening doors, and to start holding open every door you find for whatever woman comes your way! You never know, it might lead to striking up a conversation with someone. You never can tell sometimes.

 

Back to the OP's original post about Alpha Males. Good stuff! My problem was that in my 20's, I mistook "jerk" behavior (my ex) for "Alpha behavior".

 

I know better now. Learned such a long, hard lesson on all that. Lesson of my life I guess.

 

But anywhoo, - there is a HUGE difference between Alpha behavior and Jerk behavior. Jerk behavior is abusive. Alpha behavior will help you find and keep a girl, and stay in a happy, loving relationship. It's just the bottom line in the animal kingdom, of which we are a part of. Cheers!