USMCHokie Posted March 3, 2010 Share Posted March 3, 2010 Question of the day...based on the age old discussion of "confidence with women..." Do you think that feeling confident and feeling attractive are the same thing, or distinct and separate feelings? For instance, I feel confident in myself and my accomplishments as an individual and a person in this world, but I do not feel that those qualities which I'm proud of are particularly attractive to women. I see them as two separate things...so can you still be confident in yourself but not feel "confident" with women...? Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted March 3, 2010 Share Posted March 3, 2010 ...so can you still be confident in yourself but not feel "confident" with women...? sure, why not? confidence can come from anything. your work, your education, your religion, your family/friends, your accomplishments. for example USMCHokie, you can have a PhD college professor who is very successful in his career and research and lives in a mansion but he is so nerdy that he couldn't get a date to save his life Link to post Share on other sites
Odyssey Posted March 3, 2010 Share Posted March 3, 2010 Feeling confident is situational and depends on the environment we find ourselves in. Feeling attractive not necessarily so. ...Yeah i can see a difference. Link to post Share on other sites
threebyfate Posted March 3, 2010 Share Posted March 3, 2010 Good topic! From what I've seen, people can be confident in different aspects of their lives but not necessarily in all. It can even taper down to aspects of aspects. For example, I'm confident in my driving abilities but truly suck at parallel parking. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted March 3, 2010 Share Posted March 3, 2010 For example, I'm confident in my driving abilities but truly suck at parallel parking. thats not a good example TBF Link to post Share on other sites
threebyfate Posted March 3, 2010 Share Posted March 3, 2010 thats not a good example TBF Then by all means, provide a better one. Otherwise, you're just nitpicking. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted March 3, 2010 Share Posted March 3, 2010 Then by all means, provide a better one. Otherwise, you're just nitpicking. please see post #2 Link to post Share on other sites
threebyfate Posted March 3, 2010 Share Posted March 3, 2010 please see post #2Oh, so you're being competitive. Gotcha'! Carry on. To expand on my post, one can be confident in their sense of style but not confident in being considered attractive to the opposite sex. Link to post Share on other sites
OpenBook Posted March 3, 2010 Share Posted March 3, 2010 Do you think that feeling confident and feeling attractive are the same thing, or distinct and separate feelings? They're totally different. When you (the general "you") are feeling attractive, you are keenly aware of how others perceive you. When you are feeling confident, you could care less how others perceive you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author USMCHokie Posted March 3, 2010 Author Share Posted March 3, 2010 They're totally different. When you (the general "you") are feeling attractive, you are keenly aware of how others perceive you. When you are feeling confident, you could care less how others perceive you. Good way to distinguish the two. I agree with you on that one. So then why do people say that those that have trouble with women need "more confidence"? Don't they need to be more attractive...? Is confidence even relevant when it comes to dating, given your argument that attractiveness is the perception of others? Link to post Share on other sites
OpenBook Posted March 3, 2010 Share Posted March 3, 2010 Good way to distinguish the two. I agree with you on that one. So then why do people say that those that have trouble with women need "more confidence"? Don't they need to be more attractive...? Is confidence even relevant when it comes to dating, given your argument that attractiveness is the perception of others? I would say that confidence is the ONLY relevant thing when it comes to dating! What's considered "Attractive" resides in the eye of the beholder, and you've got no control over that (nor should you). No, the name of the game is Confidence, my good man!! :bunny: Link to post Share on other sites
Author USMCHokie Posted March 3, 2010 Author Share Posted March 3, 2010 I would say that confidence is the ONLY relevant thing when it comes to dating! What's considered "Attractive" resides in the eye of the beholder, and you've got no control over that (nor should you). No, the name of the game is Confidence, my good man!! :bunny: Ok, I think we can all agree that confidence itself is a universally attractive trait. I guess the question is: do you need to feel attractive to be confident...? Link to post Share on other sites
OpenBook Posted March 3, 2010 Share Posted March 3, 2010 Ok, I think we can all agree that confidence itself is a universally attractive trait. I guess the question is: do you need to feel attractive to be confident...? You're giving me a headache CHokie. j/k The short answer is No. The sexiest men I know are ugly as toads. But they get the women, because they are nice to everybody and being rejected doesn't slow them down at all, they just keep right on going. They're like Teflon. Because it doesn't matter. They know they can charm the pants off the next one. They're confident in their own abilities. Link to post Share on other sites
pureinheart Posted March 3, 2010 Share Posted March 3, 2010 Question of the day...based on the age old discussion of "confidence with women..." Do you think that feeling confident and feeling attractive are the same thing, or distinct and separate feelings? For instance, I feel confident in myself and my accomplishments as an individual and a person in this world, but I do not feel that those qualities which I'm proud of are particularly attractive to women. I see them as two separate things...so can you still be confident in yourself but not feel "confident" with women...? This is major food for thought....for me, the two go hand in hand...it seems to be an all or nothing, meaning there are several contibuters and (for me) if there is a lack in one, it seems to upset the entire balance and then over time a domino affect occurs. Link to post Share on other sites
lino Posted March 7, 2010 Share Posted March 7, 2010 I feel confident in myself and my accomplishments as an individual and a person in this world I feel the same way. I've always gotten what I aimed for in every aspect of my life except when it comes to romance and unfortunately that is probably the most important and fulfilling part of ones life As time goes on I continue to feel more and more helpless because of this despite what people say. but I do not feel that those qualities which I'm proud of are particularly attractive to women. I didn't use to think like that. I always thought that on paper I was a pretty good catch and I still do but life experience has shown me otherwise. so can you still be confident in yourself but not feel "confident" with women...? I definitely think so. Link to post Share on other sites
cuppa Posted March 9, 2010 Share Posted March 9, 2010 I am feeling attractive, feeling confident in some ways, but I have insecurities in some aspects of life. So it takes more than being attractive to feel confident I think. Link to post Share on other sites
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