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Quitting sex / mongering addiction -confession- New Year resolution to QUIT FOR GOOD!


Addiction & Recovery Recognizing, conquering, and coping with addictions, substance abuse & dependence.

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Old 29th January 2017, 6:19 AM   #1
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Quitting sex / mongering addiction -confession- New Year resolution to QUIT FOR GOOD!

When a person hears the terminology of "addiction" he/she usually thinks of alcohol addition, illicit drug addiction, or maybe gambling addiction.

But rarely do you think of "sex" addiction.

No no, I'm not talking about addiction to porn. That's minor stuff. However, pornography/adult material is a "gateway drug" in a way, that has led me to sex addiction for the past ten years. Kind of like how cigarette smoking is considered to be a gateway drug that may lead people to smoking marijuana or crack / cocaine / heroine, etc.

Anyhow, I don't know why the hell I'm talking about this on a dating website, but heck, it's a new year, and Chinese new year was yesterday, and one of my resolutions for this year is to STOP this habit......COMPLETELY!

I first started going to AMP's when I was in my mid 20s. All due to frustration with life, no girlfriend, discrimination against me, and the main factor....one of my former a-hole friends who introduced me to "having fun" at AMPs.

At first, I was scared as sh-t because I didn't want an HJ (you can look up what this acronym means) from some lady I didn't know.

Fast foward to my late 20s years, I tried to cut down on this habit. It got expensive as each time I had to fork out a sh-t load of cash to mamasan and the provider.

I was also in school studying for my second career, so that also cut down on my mongering sex addiction.

I started to date after I graduated from my second college, so I was around 29 years old at that time. However, these so-called relationships only led to platonic (sex-less) relationships. Basically, my girlfriend and I would only eat out for lunch, dinner, give each other flowers and chocolate
for valentine's day, and I was still dissatisfied.

So guess what? I decided to go back to mongering at AMP's because of the void of sexual relationship with my ex-GF's.

I eventually broke up with her because she was mediocre-looking and I wasn't getting any sex.

So woomp woomp, back to square one, and still back on the bad track of sex addiction habits.

Correct me if I'm wrong guys, but mongering or sex with escort is a MORE EXPENSIVE addiction compared to drugs and alcohol.

Fast forward to last year, I got a job offer and relocated to a new city.

I thought to myself "okay, relocation, new life...perhaps I may stop mongering." Wrong!

I didn't know much about the AMP scenes in my new city so I went onto Backpage and started to research on places that I could visit to satisfy myself.

I was single when I moved to my new area. I dated a girl whom another person introduced me to. That relationship did not work out for no more than two dates. Bam! I was f--king angry and mad, so guess what? To quell my anger and sorrow, I kept going to the ATM machines to get $$$, and next thing I was doing was sending text messages to set up appointments at AMPs.

To make a long story short, I started online dating three months ago, and to my surprise, I have been getting some responses from women in my area.

some of these interactions on the dating websites have led to face-to-face dates.

I feel that this is a new year for me, and one of my resolutions is to stay sober from being a sex addict. It's so goddamn expensive, and think about it guys. All the money I've squandered being a hobbyist could have been used to buy plenty of new computers, new electronic tablets, sound systems, perhaps saving up for downpayment on a house or new vehicle.

Right now, I'm in a "friend" relationship with a girl, hoping that the Lord will allow her to be the one, the special one for me.

Anyhow, that's my rant and rave about this kind of addiction and habit that usually flies by the radar un-detected or rarely discussed when we hear the term "addiction."
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Old 31st January 2017, 12:10 PM   #2
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Sex addiction is very common and it's actually talked about a lot on this forum. Although usually more in the sex section than the addiction one.

It's good that you realize how unhealthy it is. Focus on your relationships with real women, but you need to meet women who don't just want to be "friends", it isn't normal to be in a platonic relationship. Most real women want a relationship with sex in it.

As far as the money goes, I'm not sure that buying electronics, computers, stereos is any less of a waste of money. I know this thread isn't about money but focus on investment opportunities if you want to be smarter with your money. Not quick thrills whether they come from a laptop or a petite masseuse on top of your lap.
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Old 1st February 2017, 4:00 PM   #3
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Quote:
Originally Posted by GunslingerRoland View Post

It's good that you realize how unhealthy it is. Focus on your relationships with real women, but you need to meet women who don't just want to be "friends", it isn't normal to be in a platonic relationship. Most real women want a relationship with sex in it.
Well, exactly. I hate platonic relationships. Yes, they are better than nothing, and I've had two of those kind of GF's in the past. But what I want is sex! yes, I will be blunt about that.

Since I have been discriminated against in the dating field, I have sadly, resorted to mongering with escorts and AMP's. I quit that hobby about four months ago because I moved to a new city/state, and bam, my light bulb in my head finally said "hey, try online dating, ask people around for single girls and go on blind dates."

So far, not much success. However, I'm banking on one girl who was introduced to me, and hopefully the Lord will allow our friendship to turn into a romantic relationship!




Quote:
As far as the money goes, I'm not sure that buying electronics, computers, stereos is any less of a waste of money. I know this thread isn't about money but focus on investment opportunities if you want to be smarter with your money. Not quick thrills whether they come from a laptop or a petite masseuse on top of your lap.
Well, my point was that I wasted all of those hundreds of thousands of dollars on quick sex gratification, that could have been used towards purchasing a new computer or some kind of nice/fancy electronic gadget. Or like you've said, investment.

However, being blue-balled, makes me constantly think of going back to mongering.

I hope that I don't relapse into sex hobbying/mongering again. Because when I'm feeling depressed when not having a girlfriend, there is always the thought of wanting to flip through Backpage for my gratification.
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Old 1st February 2017, 4:24 PM   #4
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I commend you for recognizing you have a problem and even more for recognizing the triggers and patterns. That's better than most people.

However, seeing as this is very real addiction I would encourage you not to go it alone. Seek out some professional help if you can afford it OR at the very least, find a 12-Step program for sex addicts. White knuckling your 'sobriety', no matter the vice, won't be easy and all too often unsuccessful.

Good luck.
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Old 5th February 2017, 7:43 PM   #5
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Originally Posted by Michelle ma Belle View Post
I commend you for recognizing you have a problem and even more for recognizing the triggers and patterns. That's better than most people.

However, seeing as this is very real addiction I would encourage you not to go it alone. Seek out some professional help if you can afford it OR at the very least, find a 12-Step program for sex addicts. White knuckling your 'sobriety', no matter the vice, won't be easy and all too often unsuccessful.

Good luck.
^^ Thanks for your feedback and comments, Michelle Ma Belle.

yes, I have been debating on whether to seek counseling for this kind of bad habit.

However, I praise myself for going cold turkey and not doing this for the past four months.

Plus the fact that I've moved to a different city/state and the cops crack down on these places, made it a little easier for me to quit this crap.

I have also started more online dating activities since mid-October of last year, and funny thing is, when I start dating and getting more serious about finding a girlfriend, I tend to not think about mongering.

However, I have been going to counseling recently for depression. The weather in my area and the lack of living with a girlfriend/wife/fiance, makes me negative and depressed throughout the day. I come home, but nobody to talk to.

My parents live 2400 miles away. I no longer talk to my sister, as she's a b-tch and I dislike the guy whom she married with.
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