haggard969 Posted February 1, 2014 Share Posted February 1, 2014 well its been like two months now since i took her back. things are going good. shes more of a woman now. and more interested in the relationship unlike before. n i feel comfortable. but not so needy and obsessed like before. i guess i feel like i just dont care. but i do. but only a light touch. i look back at my old posts n man i was a wreck. the breakup was a good thing. n getting back together was a good thing. its like snapping out of the cycle n starting fresh. yup things are going good n were still taking it slow. next month im going to rehab for drinking because for a while i was drinking n driving too much so im quiting for good! it feels nice to have a relationship where you dont love the other person 110% . right now im at like 50% n she can do the other half. thats all im willing to do. its cool too because now i chill with the boys n do guy things n im not doing somthing with her every day. its like theres space now in the relationship n it lets us miss eachother. but anyways the real reason i came on here was too look for good tips on quitting drinking. i know i have to stop hanging out with certain friends. but i crave alcohal i want to kill the cravings. any advice? Link to post Share on other sites
arrowoman Posted February 1, 2014 Share Posted February 1, 2014 I'm glad everything worked out.. What happened exactly? Did you broke up or she? why? How was the process to get back together?? I'm in this situation here https://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/458562-no-contact-will-work-situation it sucks! :/ so anyway.. im happy for u and be strong about the alcohol thing.. It sucks, i know, but u can do it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author haggard969 Posted February 1, 2014 Author Share Posted February 1, 2014 I'm glad everything worked out.. What happened exactly? Did you broke up or she? why? How was the process to get back together?? I'm in this situation here https://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/458562-no-contact-will-work-situation it sucks! :/ so anyway.. im happy for u and be strong about the alcohol thing.. It sucks, i know, but u can do it. well if you want you can read my old posts. its a vicous roller coaster and im pretty sure everyone on this site knows my story brief of what happend. i became controlling n obsessive. i pushed her into another mans arms. i fell into a bad spiral of drug n alchohal abuse n lots of sex with randoms. i was no good. then i pulled my self together. started saving money. taking care of my self n hygiene. became independent n i only let her initiate contact to me. but i always replied. but i stopped blowingup her phone .she missed me but i had to putup with lots of crap n bite my lip toget where i am now. it was 6 months of her torcher but i took ever hit big n small n she gave in. its funny what ppl will do for love. but like i said i care less i love less but i like the new relationship more Link to post Share on other sites
deathandtaxes Posted February 1, 2014 Share Posted February 1, 2014 See a shrink. Seek therapy. Alcohol cravings and drug abuse just won't quit themselves. You will not have healthy relationships until you can get the cravings and addictions under control. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Haydn Posted February 1, 2014 Share Posted February 1, 2014 How much do you or did you drink. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author haggard969 Posted February 2, 2014 Author Share Posted February 2, 2014 How much do you or did you drink. well usually everday and i was driving pissed drunk like an idiot every night. n wake up not remembering how i got home. so ive stopped before i kill me or someone. i need a substitute or hobby 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ConfusedHumanBeing Posted February 2, 2014 Share Posted February 2, 2014 well its been like two months now since i took her back. things are going good. shes more of a woman now. and more interested in the relationship unlike before. n i feel comfortable. but not so needy and obsessed like before. i guess i feel like i just dont care. but i do. but only a light touch. i look back at my old posts n man i was a wreck. the breakup was a good thing. n getting back together was a good thing. its like snapping out of the cycle n starting fresh. yup things are going good n were still taking it slow. next month im going to rehab for drinking because for a while i was drinking n driving too much so im quiting for good! it feels nice to have a relationship where you dont love the other person 110% . right now im at like 50% n she can do the other half. thats all im willing to do. its cool too because now i chill with the boys n do guy things n im not doing somthing with her every day. its like theres space now in the relationship n it lets us miss eachother. but anyways the real reason i came on here was too look for good tips on quitting drinking. i know i have to stop hanging out with certain friends. but i crave alcohal i want to kill the cravings. any advice? Wrong thread for this Addiction & Recovery - LoveShack.org Community Forums 1 Link to post Share on other sites
KatZee Posted February 2, 2014 Share Posted February 2, 2014 Yeah, you're obviously an alcoholic. I hate to be the downer on your thread since things with your girlfriend are going so well but you're going to need to get into AA and work a program if you want to learn how to manage you're addict tendencies. In the program they really dissuade alcoholics from being in a relationship for AT LEAST the first year into recovery. You're going to go through major up's/down's mood swings and a complete change in lifestyle. Also, you may way to direct your girlfriend to Al Anon so she can understand what it means to be codependent and an enabler. This isn't going to be something you overcome on your own alcoholics always need a support system/sponser/weekly meetings, and it's going to be a LIFETIME of working on it, not something that you go in, talk about for a few weeks and then leave, thinking that you can casually drink. You're going to have to go completely sober, and work on it for life or else you're going to become a dry drunk. Also, because you have addict tendencies you need to watch that you don't transfer one addiction for another. Most alcoholics will go sober and then transfer their addictions to things like gambling, food, working out, or even another person. The underlying reasons for you to be drinking until you drove black out drunk are there, and they will always be there. The program will help you uncover those reasons and help you deal with it in a constructive way so you hopefully don't relapse. You're going to absolutely have to stay away from certain crowds of people, not hang around in bars, and learn what your triggers currently are so you don't feel tempted to hang around them or engage in those behaviors. Good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
KatZee Posted February 2, 2014 Share Posted February 2, 2014 well usually everday and i was driving pissed drunk like an idiot every night. n wake up not remembering how i got home. so ive stopped before i kill me or someone. i need a substitute or hobby This is what I was talking about, passing one addiction off for another. This is what you DON'T want to do. Yes, you want to stop drinking and have more positive things going on in your life but don't switch one addiction for the next. Get to the root, through AA, for your addictive behaviors and learn to control them. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted February 2, 2014 Share Posted February 2, 2014 Congrats on wanting to change your life. If you are serious, you can't do this alone. Join something like AA. They can help. If you think you are going to experience DT's seek medical help. Link to post Share on other sites
MyEvilTwin Posted February 12, 2014 Share Posted February 12, 2014 I don't advocate AA, so I'm going to approach this from a similar but not exact angle. If you are religious though, AA will work for you. Rehab is going to teach you a lot of things. How about individual counseling with an addiction counselor as soon as you get out? Rehab will also help you put a plan in place to stay sober. You have to dig deep within yourself to find out why. It's best done, from mho, with an addiction counselor one on one. You will get some of that in the rehab, but not enough. You may need to see someone for quite awhile. I have a friend who was addicted to heroin long before I met him, but he's still in therapy and it's been 7 years since he quit heroin. That's not a bad thing. Therapy is wonderful. Everybody gets to talk about themselves. Few people don't want to do that! Rehab will dry you out. They might give you an anti-seizure drug and a mood drug while you detox the first week or so. Make sure to let them know ahead of time that you haven't detoxed yet. Link to post Share on other sites
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