In search for an answer. Regarding Alcoholic girl friend.

[2tell]

So here is my story guys,

 

Been going out for three years now with this girl. She's a good girl, loves me a lot, always nice to me, and she's smart. BUT, she has 1 problem. She is Alcoholic.

 

She loves to drink, cant say no to a drink, and always ready to drink. At first I was whatever, but now its getting really bad. She's only 22 and she can finish a 26 to her face no problem, and thats still not enough. Always more and more required.

 

I tried talking to her about it but she denies the problem, and tells me she's still young and she still wants to have fun. She gets way too drunk to stand up, becomes very pissy, and all the good things about her change in the matter of couple of drinks.

 

Anyone here with the same experience? please tell me what should i do?

[2sunny]

Run!

 

You can't fix it for her. And it always gets worse before it gets better.

 

The only way is IF she NEVER drinks again. But it takes a ton of hard work to get to that place...

 

If she's denying a problem it's gonna get REALLY bad... You don't want to see it! Run!

[Meaplus3]

Sorry to read this. But, it appears she is in denial. And until she sees she has a problem with drinking and is fully committed to getting that treated.. Then she will continue to drink and your life will not be what you wish it to be. Listen to me. I have almost 4 years of sobriety under my belt and its awesome.. So awesome. There is help and hope for her. She does have to want it and accept it though. My best to you.

 

Mea

[fucpcg]

It will end bad, I know from first hand experience. So end it now.

[CarrieT]

Anyone here with the same experience? please tell me what should i do?

 

Very experienced with an alcoholic relationship here; fell in love and had a 2 1/2-year relationship with a man who didn't see the problem drinking first thing in the morning and going throughout the day until bed.

 

It is a horrible, horrible thing and there is no way that just talking to an alcoholic about your concerns. It won't go anywhere until THEY want to stop drinking.

 

Ultimately, she will start to make bad decisions, put herself (and possibly you) in harms way with her actions, and she will disappoint you. You will ask her to choose between you and the bottle and she will choose the booze and leave you hurt and not understanding why.

 

If you want to stay with her, start attending Al-Anon meetings to understand co-dependency and enabling. It will help your insight into alcoholics immensely and how you can learn to live with it if you make that decision to do so.

 

Or, do as others have suggested and break up with her now. It will save yourself a TON of more heartache later.

[wow04]

Truth of the matter is that she doesn't see she has a problem. You have two options. 1. Get out of the relationship now OR 2. Watch her slowly go downhill and take you with her.

I am sitting here with 9 years sober and I can tell you when I was drinking I didn't care who I took down with me. It was all about me and my next drink. I used all the excuses she is using. I had to be sick and tired of the way my life was, before I would stop. I couldn't stop on my own. I had to have help.

You need to realize that even if she gets the help she needs, her recovery will always have to come first. It isn't always easy and it needs to be worked on everyday.

I will tell you that being sober is the best thing that ever happened to me. I will take any bad day sober over any good day drinking.

I wish you the best of luck. Whatever you decide, it won't be easy.

[dumbhead]

I am like that girl. I am 31, and I developed a drinking problem in the past 3 years during a one year marriage, painful separation and divorce.

 

A year after my separation I met a wonderful man. He was not a heavy drinker, which is what drew me to him. I thought that my drinking habits, which I did not consider to be a problem at a bottle of wine a night and over 10 drinks on weekend nights, would go away. I would embarrass myself, drink until I was sick, have severe hangovers, and get very angry if anyone said anything I disagreed with. I was a happy drunk until I crossed a certain line, then I was bad. The horrible drinking nights only happened about once a month, but for a non-drinker that must be terrifying. He never knew when my drinking monster would rear its ugly head.

 

Things in his life got very stressful, having nothing to do with me, and I saw the break down of our relationship as having to do with this. I blamed him for his vacancy in our relationship. It wasn't until he left me abruptly 5 days ago, that I started to question my role in the break down. Really, it wasn't until I spoke to him 2 days after the break up and he mentioned my drinking multiple times that I was able to reflect and see that maybe something was wrong.

 

I decided to quit drinking for one month because I felt that I wasn't going to let another stupid man cause me to depression drink again. It was until 3 days of clarity that I saw that it was my drinking that pushed him away, and not the personal problems he has been trying to cope with.

 

Point being, I would never have seen that I am an alcoholic if I hadn't taken the plunge and started on the road to quitting.

 

She has to stop. She has to admit to herself she has a problem, she has to be told it's her DRINKING that is ruining her life. It is me knowing that my drinking is what drove him away that is making me change. Whether he gives me a second chance or not (though I truly hope he does) I know I need to quit and admit this to myself. I don't want to ruin my future hopes for happiness in a relationship and I need to nip this in the bud now.

 

Only by having something happen that makes her see she has a problem will she ever be able to take the step and move forward. I do not believe this is something you can help her with. The best thing you can do is tell you are leaving because of her drinking. Maybe that will wake her up.

 

I wish you the best. I'm sorry that you are dealing with this, I am starting to see what pain I caused my boyfriend with my drinking problem.