ccc2001 Posted January 17, 2006 Share Posted January 17, 2006 I've heard many times that women are sometimes "too busy" to want to date someone. It's not that they don't like the guy, but apparently it is too much for them emotionally to handle at the moment. I'm in my mid 20's and this has happened on a few occasions. Usually the women ended up contacting me again a month or two later wanting to get to know me. Maybe not "dating", but at least going towards that. My question for women: is this really true? Are my assumptions correct? If so, could you explain why women are like this? My question also stems from the fact that it appears it's happening again, since I tried to pursue a woman that had too many things going on. I am able to see her once a week, but where I see her I would probably have to approach her myself. I don't want to be "pushy", but if she's "not busy" anymore, I would like to be able to keep my foot in the door per say. It has been 2 months since she turned me down. Question: If I approach her and just have friendly conversation for a few minutes...is that appropiate? Any opinions welcome. Link to post Share on other sites
nancyann82 Posted January 17, 2006 Share Posted January 17, 2006 First of all, the last thing you want to do is to seem desperate, even if you are just trying to be friendly, women can see through that. Try to be as nonchalant as possible. When approching a woman, keep in your mind that you could care less what her response is. A woman won't be attracted to you if you seem too needy. And, in response to the "Too Busy" excuse, i'm sorry if this sounds bad but i believe that nobady is too busy when they find somebody they realy like. But on the other hand, i know of very few women who don't want to be consumed by a realitionship. But if you really think about it, if you were a woman who was dedicated to her work or studies and Brad Pitt or somebody supercharming were to come and ask you out, would you really turn them down to study???? Good luck! P.S. i hope i answered your question;) Link to post Share on other sites
My_Other_I Posted January 17, 2006 Share Posted January 17, 2006 I'd say that saying HI and chit-chatting is fine, but respect her wishes. If she says she is too 'busy' (whatever that means), take it as she's not interested for now. Link to post Share on other sites
Mz. Pixie Posted January 17, 2006 Share Posted January 17, 2006 Sorry, if a woman is interested she will never be too busy for a guy. Link to post Share on other sites
EMJ Posted January 18, 2006 Share Posted January 18, 2006 If she says she's too busy she does not want a romantic relationship with you. She may actually be busy, but we all make time for what and who we want in our life. Keep moving. Say thanks and don't think about asking her out again. These women may really like you as a friend and don't want to hurt your feelings. But they aren't interested beyond that, not at all. Sorry. But it's good that you asked, you won't waste any more time hoping and waitng for them to come around. They won't. Only pursue the receptive women. Good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
Outcast Posted January 18, 2006 Share Posted January 18, 2006 I don't think it's necessarily a rejection of you personally. I have been in the situation where I wasn't actively seeking a relationship and would have turned down pretty much anyone who asked. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted January 18, 2006 Share Posted January 18, 2006 If a woman is interested she won't use the I'm busy line. Even if she really is busy, she'll still give you other hints to make sure YOU know she's interested. Look for action too, not only words. If her actions are following her "I'm busy" words, then chances are she's not into you that way. Sorry... Link to post Share on other sites
cygny Posted January 18, 2006 Share Posted January 18, 2006 i have truely been too busy. it does happen. i go through phases where i have to work very hard and do not even have time to do my laundry for a month. also i have gone other phases where perhaps i lost a loved one or am going through some other stress and i just do not feel like going out. I do not want the stress of meeting some one new, taking the trouble to get ready, enduring some uncomfortable moments getting to know someone who is not turning me on already. and not in the frame of mind at all for a relationship. unless i already know the guy and have a crush on him, i am not going to budge. --even when my husband started dating me--i was in a graduate program and he had to take crumbs in terms of my time for months. so, i wouldn't write the girl off especially if she doesn't know you. if you've spotted her first, chances are she will need some wooing to go out with you. i would wait for another opening, one where you are sure she is available and receptive to the idea. feel her out with asking her if she's still really busy. if she says she is, don't ask her. if she has to turn you down too many times it will just become a habit. and try to be funny when you ask her- Link to post Share on other sites
Milo Posted January 18, 2006 Share Posted January 18, 2006 Regardless of whether or not the woman is busy or just telling a white lie to keep from bruising your ego, that's your cue to leave it alone and see if they contact you in the future. In the mean time, meet someone else who isn't "busy." No sense in waiting on people who don't have time for you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ccc2001 Posted January 18, 2006 Author Share Posted January 18, 2006 Thanks for your responses. They are all very helpful. It appears that each woman is different in how they approach this. Some will drop everything for a really cool guy. While others will not even worry about dating, knowing that they can get a cool guy anyways. Of course, if dating was straightforward, I would know why she is the way she is and this web site wouldn't exist. Link to post Share on other sites
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